8 Ways You Are Unknowingly Making Yourself Unattractive

Despite the fact that we try to be good, decent human beings, we occasionally display “less than great” behaviour. Sometimes, tendencies emerge which push others away, cause aggravation, or just plain annoy those in your vicinity. No one is perfect, but if you find that you are displaying any of the bad habits listed below, you are making yourself unattractive to others without even knowing it.
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1. Being Self-Centered

A lot of people are unaware that they are guilty of this behaviour. A conversation begins with someone talking about their day and ends with you talking about yours. Don’t fall into the “me” trap! It is fine and dandy to want to share your awesome experiences with the rest of the world, but try to let others have the spotlight to themselves once in a while. Listen to yourself when you speak. How often do you use “I” in your conversations with others? If you find it to be quite often, you might be shifting the focus to yourself without realizing it. Bite your tongue and listen to others when they speak. Giving someone the attention they deserve is important in all types of relationships.

2. Ignoring Inner-Beauty/Focusing On Outer-Beauty

The truth is, real beauty lies within. However, not everyone understand this. Solely focusing on someone’s outward appearance and ignoring what resides within their heart is a majorly unattractive trait. For most of us, we can’t drastically change how we look on the outside. All we can do is improve ourselves on the inside and help others to understand what is really important.

3. Being Overly-Competitive

News flash: not everything is a competition. In fact, overly-competitive behaviour is rather unattractive. If your friend has a fear of heights and climbs a tree, and you respond with “Oh yeah, I climbed a tree three times that height,” you are being competitive. Instead, you should be supportive in your relationships. Congratulate your friend on conquering their fears and remember to let them have their moment.
Six Habits of Highly Attractive People

4. Questioning Your Value In The Friendship

You are important. Your friends are your friends because they like you and value your friendship. Constantly questioning why someone has befriended you, or why they “tolerate” or “put up with you” will only cause annoyance. Even the most patient people have a limit. If you find yourself questioning your value in the friendship, look inside and understand that you aren’t really doubting them, you are doubting you.

5. Controlling The Friendship

Every healthy relationship is based on equality and honesty. Having complete control of every decision and having to be in charge of the relationship is unattractive, at best. Share the experience of friendship with others by inviting them into he decision-making. Ask them what they would like to do, or how they feel about something, instead of telling them. You will find a lot more people will enjoy your company when you include them in the important things.
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6. Lying

Obviously no one wants to be around a dishonest person. Therefore, lying is the fastest way to become unattractive. Honesty is needed for trust, and trust is needed for a solid, stable relationship. If you want to improve your relationships, you need to be honest with yourself and others.

7. Being Rude Or Mean

Every day, people have to face things dislike. There is no need to be rude about it though. Making snarky comments, or rude remarks about someone’s choice of music or their attire will push people away from you. Decent human beings tend to gravitate towards positive people, so try to make your words reflect less negativity. As a plus, you will notice your quality of life improves when your outlook improves.

8. Being Unreliable

Constantly letting people down is a very unattractive trait. When someone needs your help, and you tell them they can count on you, they should really be able to trust your words. By being unreliable, you are basically telling the other person that they aren’t important, and no one wants to be friends with someone like that. We are all important, and their time is just as valuable as yours.

I believe that these 8 unattractive behaviours can be transformed into something beautiful, despite their ugliness. Recognizing the areas within ourselves that need improvement, and then working on those areas, is paramount for growth. And a person who is concerned about the betterment of themselves is pretty darn attractive.

By Raven Fon

The post 8 Ways You Are Unknowingly Making Yourself Unattractive appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

6 Habits Of Couples Who Have A Great Sex Life

After having several conversations with some of my friends who are in long-term relationships, I discovered one question was asked more than any other: “How do you have such a healthy sex life after being together for so long?”
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Unfortunately, most people feel their passion fizzle out after being in a relationship with someone for a while. Whether it is mismatched libidos, lack of communication, or elevated stress levels, falling into a sexual rut doesn’t mean the fire is gone forever- there is hope!

Lauren Brim is a sexual wellness coach and has written the book, The New Rules of Sex. She told Bustle.com, “Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people. If our sexuality isn’t being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life.”

Having a healthy sex life with your partner is just as important as any other aspect of your relationship, plus it can do wonders to improve your health.

If you want to know how to keep a healthy and happy sex life as a permanent fixture in your relationship, try implementing the following 6 habits:

1. Flirt with them.

Yep, that’s right, flirt. You did it at one point, right? Why did you stop? Honestly, my husband and I never stopped flirting with each other. Besides showing the other person you are still just as interested in them as the day you met, flirting boosts confidence for both partners.

Brim says, “The most important thing to keep your sex life healthy in a relationship, is to keep the sexual energy simmering in-between the act.”

So go ahead, tell them how hot they look, give them a gentle slap on the tush, kiss their ear and give them those bedroom eyes. Letting them know you still desire them will keep things exciting in the bedroom.

2. Talk with them.

In almost every bit of advice I give, I mention communication. It is necessary in every kind of relationship, if you want it to be a healthy one.

Couples who have healthy sex lives know how to talk to each other. They express their emotional issues just as openly as they discuss their sexual wants and needs.

“Making time to talk about things, even the simple things, can open up the space between your partner and you and make you suddenly aware of that super sexy person sitting right across from you that you can’t wait to make love to,” says Brim.

3. Get lots of rest.

Getting a good night’s rest isn’t only great for your mental and physical health, it is a key component to a healthy sex life. I know that we are busy people with busy lives, but if we want to keep the fire burning in our relationships, we need to be able to function.

There is an easy way to get better sleep at night- have more sex! It’s a pretty useful cycle: have sex, get more sleep: get more sleep, have better sex.

4. They keep things “interesting.”

Yes, you are going to have to spice things up once in a while. Don’t worry, you don’t have to develop a fetish or break out the Forrest Hump DVD just yet.

Try to keep things interesting by being random. Switch things up a bit from time to time. Ladies, maybe do that thing he likes (which you haven’t done in a while). Men, do the dishes. Okay, that was a joke, but seriously, men, you know how to please your woman.

Brim says, if you want to be one of those couples that has a lot of sex, you need to  “create sexually novel situations to keep sex interesting, surprising and fun.”

5. They know “sexy time” is important.

Happy couples know that if you want to have sex, you must make time for it. I don’t mean literally scheduling time around your busy days to dutifully fornicate with your partner- how robotic. No, what I mean is setting aside a few hours a day, a week, whatever, for just you and your significant other. Get to know each other again, look into each other’s eyes, and see where all this leads you. Usually, once the spark is ignited again, your sex life greatly improves.

6. Laugh with them.

One of the most commonly found attributes among happy couples is their ability to make each other laugh. Sharing moments of joy can reconnect you to your partner in more ways than one.

When we laugh, we release oxytocin, the same chemical often referred to as “the love hormone.” And with good reason. Oxytocin is released when we hug, when we kiss, and yes, when we make love.

Some people might argue that “sex isn’t everything,” and of course they are right. Sex isn’t everything, but it is an important element found in healthy relationships. The relationship website OnePlusOne says, “Studies repeatedly show that married couples of all ages who report higher levels of relationship satisfaction also report having good sex lives.”

Lauren Brim’s final piece of advice to Bustle.com was this, “A healthy sex life starts with you. Loving and taking care of your body, cultivating a relationship with your sexuality, and making time for sex because you value your pleasure, your partner’s satisfaction, and what sex does for you as an individual and the relationship.”

*This article is intended for adults…obviously.*

By Raven Fon

The post 6 Habits Of Couples Who Have A Great Sex Life appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Why You Need a Sense of Purpose

Have you ever known somebody who seemed to have everything going for them, but could not find happiness? Did it seem that their life was lacking in something fundamental that you couldn’t quite put your finger on? There is a strong possibility that thing they were lacking was a sense of purpose. Princeton, from the filthy and wonderful musical puppet show Avenue Q, understood this well. His song Purpose begins like so:
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“Purpose – it’s that little flame that lights a fire under your ass! Purpose, it keeps you going strong, like a car with a full tank of gas. Everyone else has a purpose – so what’s mine?”

I have been without a sense of purpose myself. It feels lonely, confusing, exhausting, and sad. I did indeed feel like a car that had run out of gas. Thankfully, like Princeton’s character in the show, I found mine in my mid-20’s. This puts me among the lucky ones. Some people don’t find an authentic and fulfilling sense of purpose until much later in life. Others never find it at all. Many are fooled into working towards a purpose that was forced upon them. They adopt it as their own, but never truly feel its power in their soul. Although this is not the worst way to live a life, it is far from ideal. It might leave you feeling strangely empty, even in the wake of a great accomplishment.

So, how do you prevent this from happening? Find a purpose that is truly and uniquely yours! Look deep into your soul and determine what is important to you. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel useful and powerful? What validates your feelings of “self” and “home”? What brings out the best in you? Answering these questions – as well as some others I found that are designed to help in developing your sense of purpose – is a tricky business. Thankfully, Psychology Today has compiled a wonderful guide to help you along the way. As Dr. Susan Biali states in writing this sage advice, “Your purpose might indeed be something grand and complicated, or it may be as simple as dispensing love and kindness wherever you go. Remember to be present in the moment, and delight in watching it all unfold. Life really is beautiful.”

As Dr. Biali pointed out, your purpose does not have to be grand in scale. It also does not have to work in tandem with your job. A career that aligns with your sense of purpose is certainly an ideal scenario. However, it is seldom practical. Instead, strive to develop a robust sense of purpose outside of the office. Even dedicating just a few hours per week to your passion can change your entire mindset. Volunteer at a dog shelter. Paint a mural. Write a book. You have a whole life with which to do what you decide. Shouldn’t some of it be reserved for what lights your heart on fire?

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7 Habits to Make You Rich

Who doesn’t want to acquire great wealth?  Is it even possible without a windfall inheritance? Absolutely.  But millionaire wealth is seldom garnered working for someone else. Instead, adopt these 7 common habits of successful entrepreneurs to create your own fabulous abundance.
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Be driven by your own personal ideas, brand, imperatives and beliefs.

   Whatever the product, solution or creative expression, the process to reach goals requires data collection.  Along with that data is the white noise of other’s’ input, opinions on what will and won’t work, or why or how.  High achievers cull effectively, and gather only what is useful.

Create New Options

   Most people look at what exists and select one choice over another. Successful entrepreneurs recognize a better, more ideal solution, and create it.

Stretch the Landscapes

   Driven to succeed,  achievers find that current rules and playing fields, and win/lose outcomes are  tedious. The “norm” seldom accommodates great success.  Inventive high performers create new arenas. They  win or lose on their own terms.
Great Managers Achieve by Engaging: Four Ways to Inspire Workplace Success

Maintain Personal Discipline

  Compelled to do what they love, highly successful entrepreneurs spirit through mundane tasks mindful of the inherent value. Their goals and dreams inform every action. Each day is met with the excitement  of following their bliss. They never give up.

Admire and Share Success

  Accomplished creators appreciate the leadership of others who inspire and validate creativity. They understand the value of everyone who contributes, and practice working as a team rather than a hierarchy. They know there’s more than enough wealth to share, and applaud the success of others. They practice gratitude. Consider recent news at the Chobani yogurt company.

Establish an Achievement Mindset

  Triumphant success is not a final destination. Reaching a goal or milestone is the place to establish the next goal.  Achievement begets new targets for achievement,  from an almost joyful inner restlessness. There is no status quo. New skills are the base for securing more new skills.
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When asked of a favorite or best piece, every successful poet, painter and musician I know  replies, “The next one.”

Be Resolute

  Great wealth results from a willingness to stand alone, to ask,  “Why NOT me?”,  to start a movement of one,  to take risks that expose vulnerability and require courage. Success comes from a willingness to accept consequences along with responsibility. There’s is no blame to spread in the face of failure, no whining, rather, tenacity and humility.  

If you find yourself nodding at each habit and practice, be the next star that can’t stop shining.  And keep us posted….we cheer you along to manifest those dreams.

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Four Proven Ways To Fall In Love With Your Significant Other All Over Again

Right now a close friend of mine is on her honeymoon. Last weekend on her wedding day, she and her husband were absolutely radiant with joy, love, and excitement. The look on their faces was not so much hope in the classic sense – praying and wishing – as it was certainty. These two were created exclusively for the purpose of finding and loving one another. Currently they are posting pictures from a sunset cruise in Hawaii, a flower in her hair and a twinkle in his eye. Sarah and Ben are truly, deeply, and joyfully in love.
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This brought me back to my own honeymoon, a blissful and carefree time. My stomach was filled with local grilled fish and the air was thick with the smell of flowers and the ocean breeze. I would love to go back to that place in time. The honeymoon phase of a marriage is a thing so powerful and magical that it can inspire insanity. Three years later we are certainly still in love, arguably even more so than we were back then. Things are different though. The spark is still there, but it takes much more work than it used to to fan the flames.

Too many couples wait until there is a crisis to rekindle their marriage. I, however, am a huge fan of ongoing marriage maintenance. Much like a car, investing in regular check-ups can keep the whole thing from falling apart in a traumatic and expensive way. When things are going smoothly, and our connection is properly cared for, all it takes is a warm smile or a long kiss for us to make up after an argument. When a relationship is neglected, the solution becomes much more drastic and complex. Although Sarah and Ben will soon return to their jobs and home, I am confident that they will strive to bring back this intoxicating honeymoon sensation from time to time.

Here are four ways to reconnect with your own partner and reclaim that honeymoon-love feeling:

Do something new together.

Luckily, Sarah and Ben are prime candidates for this one. They are an adventurous couple who collected date night ideas on popsicle sticks at their wedding reception. They plan to put these in a jar and select one when they are feeling daring. Clearly, these two already have an eye towards marriage maintenance. Engaging in a novel experience together – especially a physical one – can inject your union with a much-needed dose of excitement. Studies have shown that activities which produce adrenaline – such as riding a roller coaster or rafting down a river – can also promote attraction and arousal. This is a perfect way to escape from a rut (we all fall into them from time to time) and see your partner with new eyes.
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Speak kindly.

In the rush of everyday life, it can be easy to snap at your partner with sarcasm or a harsh tone. Your frustration with a certain situation may come across as anger with your partner and create an unintended and unnecessary conflict. This is especially true for new parents and couples who work long hours. Stress and sleep deprivation can transform us into much less pleasant versions of ourselves. Most of us would be surprised at how we look and sound during these moments. Often, we treat our significant other with less kindness and consideration than we would a stranger. Spend one week being conscious of your non-verbal communication with your partner. Concentrate on a loving tone of voice and body language, and see how it changes your daily communication.
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Hold hands.

Kind touches, researchers say — such as an arm around your partner’s shoulders or a high-five — can communicate an even wider range of emotion than facial expressions. They can also do the job more quickly and accurately than words. Couples who touch often reported more satisfaction with their relationship, and were less stressed when it came to solving problems – the everyday kind that take their toll on most marriages. “We think that humans build relationships precisely for this reason, to distribute problem solving across brains,” said James A. Coan, a a psychologist at the University of Virginia. “We are wired to literally share the processing load, and this is the signal we’re getting when we receive support through touch.” A touch of the hand says more than “I like you.” It also says “I’m in your corner, I’ve got your back, and I’m here to help you carry this load.”

Go on a “first date.”

Ask your spouse first date questions, and get to know him a little bit better. You’ll be surprised at the things you discover. These questions are a good place to start, as they have been scientifically proven to deepen your sense of intimacy. This concept doesn’t end with the conversation, though. Dress up and put on perfume as if you’re trying to make a good first impression. Break out your best lingerie for confidence. If the date goes really well, you can make out in the car like teenagers. How many married couples do that on the regular?

“It’s almost never too late to start the process of falling in love all over again,” says James Córdova, Ph.D., chair of Clark University’s psychology department and head of Clark’s Center for Couples & Family Research. “One of the things that happens in long-term marriages is that the demands of everyday life steal our attention away from our partners — and paying attention to the other is crucial for happy relationships.” Don’t let the demands of everyday life steal the joy from your relationship. Bring back the magic. Smile like Sarah and Ben on their honeymoon, connected and carefree, with a lifetime of love awaiting them.

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Here Is Why You Need To Scream More Often

From a young age, screaming is heavily discouraged in our society. It is usually seen as a sign of terror, pain, or even emotional instability. However, there is scientific evidence to suggest that screaming could actually be very beneficial to our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
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Dr. Arthur Janov discovered the benefits of screaming by accident when treating his patients with a method he called Primal Therapy. He describes this practice as follows: “Painful things happen to nearly all of us early in life that get imprinted in all our systems which carry the memory forward, making our lives miserable. It is the cause of depression, phobias, panic and anxiety attacks, and a whole host of symptoms that add to the misery. We have found a way into those early emotional archives and have learned to have access to those memories, to dredge them up from the unconscious, allowing us to re-experience them in the present, integrate them and no longer be driven by the unconscious. For the first time in the history of psychology there is a way to access feelings, hidden away, in a safe way and thus to reduce human suffering. It is, in essence, the first science of psychotherapy.”

“The number one killer in the world today is not cancer or heart disease,” claims Dr. Janov. “It is repression.” Indeed, we do live in a heavily repressed society. If you doubt this, consider the reaction you would elicit if you were to start screaming in public. People would think you were absolutely out of your mind. You might even be removed from the situation by kind professionals in white coats. Screaming is, however, a very primal way to get in touch with the pain we have repressed that may be eating away at us from the inside. Ironically, the theory behind Primal Therapy argues that screaming from the depths of our soul can actually restore our sanity.

Reportedly, the first time a patient screamed when undergoing this therapy, Dr. Janov himself was stunned by the results. “He became virtually another human being. He became alert,” claimed Janov. “He seemed to understand himself.” It seems as if expressing emotional pain in a physical, tangible way can help us to let it go. Repressed pain and anger can have physical effects of the body, so it would make sense that releasing it in a physical way could give us some sense of relief.

This is definitely one of the stranger therapeutic techniques I’ve come across, and obviously you can’t just scream in a public place or wake the neighbors with your guttural roar. However, if your heart is feeling blocked up by a pain you can’t quite reach, this might be worth a shot. Find a way that works for you. Go deep into the woods where no one will hear you. Scream into your pillow. Scream to loud music. Tell your roommates what you’re doing and just get weird. Access your pain and let it flow.

“Trauma is personal,” wrote Danielle Bernock in her book Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals. “It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive.” Replace your own silent screams with a physical manifestation of your trauma, grief, and hurt. Give it back to the earth and let it reverberate through the universe.

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Are YOU the Toxic One in Your Relationship?

You’ve been in one relationship after another filled with dysfunction, toxicity, and drama. You choose the wrong men. Crazy women seem to find you wherever you go. You’re tired of drama, but it always shows up to consume your life.
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There is a chance you have a tendency to attach yourself to toxic partners. However, what if this isn’t the problem at all?

What if you are the toxic one in your relationship?

Here are six clues that might help you crack the case.

1. People offend you on a regular basis.

Unless you are actually surrounded by assholes, this might be a problem you need to look inward to solve. Why do you feel this constant sting of offense? Do you have unfair expectations of others? Do you feel hurt when someone simply disagrees with you? If you find yourself easily offended, it is likely that you are the source of the problem. You may be thinking in a self-centered, conflict driven, or close-minded way. Luckily, thought patterns are easy to change.

2. You always have to be in control.

Many people have a natural inclination to take charge. However, this habit must be kept in check in order to maintain a healthy relationship. At its best, this tendency is irritating. At its worst, this behavior can become abusive. The next time you are tempted to take charge, try taking a step back instead. Your partner’s response may surprise you.
10 Signs You Are in a Toxic Relationship

3. You and your friends have serious drama.

Every relationship takes some work, and even the good ones may involve a touch of jealousy and competition. However, if you find yourself engaging in toxic activities like unkind gossip, mind games, and backstabbing, you need to look twice at your behavior. Friendship should be a soft place to fall. If yours are filled with toxicity, you likely carry some of it into your romantic relationships, as well.

4. Most of your conversations revolve around complaining.

We all need to vent from time to time. This is healthy. However, if you let your negativity carry you away, you may cease to notice the sunnier points of life. This attitude will not only ruin your day, but can drag your partner down into the abyss of pessimism along with you.

5. You consider yourself to be brutally honest.

In my experience, people who say this about themselves are usually just brutal. Honesty is not helpful to your relationship if you fail to take your partner’s feelings into consideration. Many people use this phrase as an excuse to say things they know are hurtful. It’s an honorable thing to pride yourself on your capacity for honesty – but make sure to match it with your penchant for kindness.
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6. Things are rarely your fault.

This one is most often seen in the classic abusive phrase “Look what you made me do.” Nobody can make you do anything. By blaming someone else for your reaction, you are externalizing responsibility for your behavior rather than accepting the reality of your actions. If you shift the blame for your mistakes to your partner, you are not growing as a person. You are also hurting them deeply.

Toxic relationships are very rarely one-sided. If you are in one, you likely exhibit one of the mindsets above. Your partner may exhibit all six, but unfortunately the only person you can really change is you. Bryant McGill had this to say on the subject: “Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don’t turn your hair gray. Don’t carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don’t lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you — seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!”

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11 Explanations You Don’t Owe Anyone

Why do we feel the need to always give explanations?

Being an active member of society can fill you with all sorts of pressure and stress. Certain situations make you feel like you must respond a certain way or act in a specific manner. And yes, some people think they know what is best for you and your livelihood.
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Regardless of all of those things, you must remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for…

1. Your Living Situation.

The way you live your life at home is no one’s business but your own. It doesn’t matter whether you have housemates, live alone, live unmarried with a partner, or if you still live with your ex.

2. Your Life Priorities.

Dream of opening a restaurant? Want to become a pastor at your church? Have an urge to sell all of your belongings and backpack through Peru? Go for it! And remember, you never need to explain your priorities to anyone because they are your priorities, and are not there to impress people.

3. Needing Alone Time.

If you require alone time in your life, you’re not being rude, introverted, or unfriendly, despite what others might think. You just need time to be by yourself- alone. We all need time to find our center and refocus.

4. Your Physical Appearance.

We all go through changes with our bodies. Losing weight, gaining weight, getting a new hairstyle, growing a beard, or doing anything different with your physical appearance doesn’t require an explanation. They will just have to deal with your purple hair.

5.  Your Food Preferences.

Not everyone is fan of pizzas and burgers. Some folks like banana and bacon sandwiches, or they prefer spaghetti with butter instead of tomato sauce. We all have different tastes when it comes to food. If someone tries to judge you over it, don’t pay them any mind. You just go ahead an dip your french fries in your ice cream.
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6. Your Sex Life.

This is a no-brainer. It is a very personal part of your life, and whether your sex life does or doesn’t exist, it’s no one’s business but your own. There will always be someone who will pass judgement on you for who you sleep with or what your sexuality is. But I’ve found, their opinion doesn’t matter.

7. Your Career Or Personal Life Choices.

Go in the direction you want to go, and follow the path of your choosing. If you are a talented artist who desires working in the legal field, follow your heart. If being a lawyer is your dream, go for it. The ones who truly care for you will support your decision.

8. Your Religious Or Political Views.

These days, it’s easy to pick a fight- just ask someone what their political or religious affiliation is and watch the battle ensue. Whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, a Catholic or a Protestant, it is your choice and yours alone, and you never need to defend your beliefs (as long as they don’t harm anyone).  Of course, if someone wants to have a mature, candid discussion with you about the topic, then go for it. Exchanging ideas and viewpoints can expand the mind and is beneficial for both parties.

9. Being Single.

Regardless if you’ve been single for a week or a year, you’re probably comfortable with the decision at this point in your life. If people are pressuring you to find a date, or to get married and settle down, tell them to mind their own. Being single can be great.

10. Your Relationship Choices.

Did your ex ask you to get back together and you said yes? Did you forgive the one that cheated on you?Did you turn down a marriage proposal? Well guess what? All of these decisions were made by you for your own set of reasons. You followed your heart and this is where you landed, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for that.

Life can be complicated, and the people around us can either make it more difficult, or they can ease the burdens by supporting your choices.  You don’t have to give explanations for everything.

By Raven Fon

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Are Foul-Mouthed, Messy Night Owls the True Geniuses?

Clean your room! Watch your mouth! Don’t stay up too late! Who was correct – the parent spouting this common advice, or the teenager sighing and rolling her eyes with exasperation? Surprisingly, science has come to side with the latter. According to new research, these often-discouraged tendencies can correlate with high intelligence, creativity, and a broad vocabulary. Basically, your parents couldn’t handle your beautiful and advanced mind. They were probably intimidated by your genius. Thanks for trying to reign us in Mom and Dad, but as our homes, mouths, and sleep schedules can attest, all of your effort couldn’t stifle the power of our very magnificent brains!
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Let’s start with your f*cking foul potty mouth. Bad language has long been seen as a sign of low intelligence, lack of education, and poor upbringing. Well, sh*t. Maybe we were all wrong. A study published in Language Sciences determined that people who swear more frequently actually have broader vocabularies than those who do not. This applies to all areas of language – not just the filthy ones. For anyone with a truly and profoundly dirty mouth – or even for those of us who just slip on occasion – this news is just fucking fantastic!

If you’re cursing from the comfort of your cluttered desk, we have even more good news.

A messy work space or living environment used to be seen as a sign that its owner was lazy and apathetic. According to a recent study, however, we can throw this assumption out the window. New research on the effect of environment on thinking, conducted by psychological scientist Kathleen Vohs and her fellow researchers at the University of Minnesota, was recently published in the academic research journal Psychological Science. Their findings provide valuable insight as to why your parents may have favored a clean room over a messy one. While a tidy room encourages collaboration and obedience, the researchers found, a messy one may promote creative thinking. “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights,” Vohs concluded. “Orderly environments, in contrast, encourage convention and playing it safe.” While an orderly and obedient child is much easier to raise, it is a free-thinking one who will change the world.
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If you were a night owl as a teen, today’s research may go even further in validating your life choices.

Recent studies on teenagers, sleep patterns, and that young people who stay up late may actually be smarter than those who wake up early. This may come as a surprise, not only because of the stereotypes surrounding teen night owls, but also in light of data that suggests early risers usually earn higher marks in school. The results of the study showed that, although their grades were lower, the teenagers who were classified as night owls scored higher on inductive reasoning tests. This kind of intelligence has been shown to correlate closely with general intelligence and a capacity for innovative thinking. It is also linked to higher monetary income later in life. The discrepancy between grades and intelligence is likely due to the fact that most high schools start very early, disrupting a night owl’s sleep patterns.
4 Reasons Science says Night Owls are Smarter than Early Birds

Messy, foul-mouthed night owls can rejoice – you are geniuses!

Those who do not fit this mold, however, can still take something positive from the above research. Don’t play into what society tells you about your strengths and weaknesses based on outward appearances. Be who you are, and encourage others to do the same. You never know what valuable skills may be hiding beneath an imperfect exterior.

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17 Signs You Had Strict Parents

Strict parents – no kid wants them, but there they are, reminding you that they’re not “made of money” whenever you order a soda. They mean well, but if you had them you probably became either a tightly wound professional or a drug addict. You also have some memories that your friends with normal parents just can’t relate to.
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Here they are:

1. Manners were very important.

You know several rhymes with which to explain good manners and correct bad ones. In adulthood you have to hold back from telling your date to get her elbows off the table, because this is not, in fact, a horse’s stable.

2. You could go out on Friday night or Saturday night, but not both; never, ever both.

Thursday night plans? Ha! Dream on, my wild friends.

3. You had the same sensible first name as about a third of your classmates.

Your parents would nod with approval when you brought home friends with names like Megan or John. They were immediately suspicious of Maddox and Poppy. As far as they were concerned, Feather and Scout were basically feral.
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4. You changed the channel to HGTV whenever your parents walked in the room.

You never know what might go down on TBS. Ross and Rachel might kiss or something.

5. You were allowed one piercing in each ear – if you were a girl – once you were thirteen.

Additional piercings were absolutely out of the question. So was dyeing your hair, even a conventional color, even if it was temporary. When your friend got a tattoo, you assumed he was literally trying to kill his parents.

6. You never had “The Talk.”

Your parents left a book on your bed explaining puberty, and turned bright red whenever they saw you for weeks afterward. You both did.

7. Your teenage rebellion involved snacking between meals or drinking coffee when your parents weren’t looking.

8. You practiced asking your parents to make plans in front of the mirror, and sometimes with the help of a sibling.

This process included a lengthy Q&A session. You put more work into getting the ok for a movie date than most people do into defending their graduate school thesis.

9. A change in plans was panic inducing.

You now had to repeat the whole process, and your parents would be twice as suspicious this time around. They knew that Poppy was trouble. You’re probably both on drugs. So are her parents.

10. You checked over a joke or story for racy content about ten times before repeating it to your parents.

They were still shocked and offended and you were still sent to your room.
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11. You monitored your parents’ moods like a diabetic monitors their blood pressure.

12. That time you wore a mini skirt, your mother acted as if you’d announced you were worshipping Satan now.

Your father cried. Make-up and high heels were entirely out of the question.

13. Every time a friend cursed, you instinctively panicked and checked for nearby adults.

14. Your parents were always there to “support” you at school dances, field trips, or parties.

Even if your school did NOT ask for chaperones, you could still count on your parents being there to “cheer you on”.

15. You always had to leave the party first.

You knew exactly how long it took you to get home from any location, and certainly knew better than to break curfew. Even ten minutes before was cutting it far, far too close, you wild woman.

16.You became a skillful liar.

17. Making plans for later that same night? Ha!

Have fun at your church youth group without me, Holden. My mom thinks you’re on drugs.

Your strict parents undoubtedly had your best interests at heart. After all, nobody wants their teenager smoking “the reefer” and hanging out with kids like Bodhi and Zephyr. As you grow older, you might start to understand them more. A time might even come when you catch yourself rhyming manners at your own eye-rolling teenager. Good luck with that.

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Are You Lonely in Your Relationship?

“Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate,” said Germaine Greer. Indeed, there’s something about the presence of another person that can actually intensify the pain of loneliness. Loneliness is not the absence of other people – rather, it is the absence of a human connection with them. There is nothing more lonesome than feeling disconnected from someone you love.
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When your relationship feels lonely, it can actually have an impact on your physical health. Besides putting us at a greater risk for depression and anxiety, loneliness can weaken our immune systems, increase inflammatory responses, and put us at a greater risk for cardiovascular disease. You can literally die of loneliness. Sadly, the physical death that could result from a growing distance between you and your partner is not even the worst part. The relational and emotional death that loneliness can lead to is a far more painful thing.

The agony of feeling lonely when you are in a committed relationship can be a hard thing for others to understand. After all, most people understand loneliness as a byproduct of being alone. To someone who is alone most of the time, you might sound ungrateful for your partner or even greedy for attention. It can be hard to explain the feeling of losing a connection while still spending plenty of time with the person you once shared that bond with. It doesn’t make sense to miss someone while they are sleeping right next to you – and yet, thousands of people experience this phenomenon every day. Not only is it alienating, but it is deeply sad. Mother Teresa once said “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”
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Thankfully, all does not have to be lost. There are lots of ways to reconnect if you are willing to make the first move. It is not an easy thing to do. However, if you can see yourself falling back into mad, deep, meaningful love with your significant other, it just might be worth it. Spend time together. Get away from work, the kids, and the house. Experience a new place. Try a new activity. Have fun. Hold his hand. Forgive her faults. Try to see things from your partner’s point of view. If you fell in love once, you can do it again. Don’t settle for being lonely when the love of your life is sitting right next to you.

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10 Lessons I’ve Learned About Breaking Bad Habits

The problem with habits is that they’re, well, habitual. We’ve gotten used to how they feel and how they work in our lives, even when they don’t really work for us anymore. While it can be easy to identify habits that aren’t serving us well anymore, making the changes to that habit can be tough. Here are ten things I’ve learned about breaking bad habits -and implementing new ones- that have served me well for about the past 35 years.
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1. Make small changes.

We often want to make big sweeping changes all at once, but this is highly ineffective. The smaller the change, the more likely we are to stick with it. Small changes help us define our new normal and implement new habits by becoming easily absorbed in our routines. Want to get into better shape? Instead of buying a gym membership, new workout clothes, hiring a personal trainer, throwing out all the junk food in your house and vowing to eat nothing but kale from now until you’ve dropped 20 pounds, try doing five pushups. You can even do them now, after you read this last sentence.

2. Identify triggers.

Figuring out what your triggers are for old -and new- habits is essential to losing the old and ushering in the new. Triggers are ingrained cues that spur a behavior; for example, coming home and turning on the television while you microwave a TV dinner. But if you’re trying to lose weight via eating better and exercise, maybe instead you leave the TV off and put on a pot of water to boil. Maybe while you’re cooking your dinner you learn about a sport you want to try or do jumping jacks in your kitchen. Effectively identifying and negotiating triggers is key in developing new habits.
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3. Blog about it.

Blogging is a powerful tool: even the idea that someone might read what you’re published online instills a sense of responsibility and accountability. You can blog about anything you want, but blogging can be really helpful if you’re trying to break bad habits and instill good ones. If you’re on a weight-loss journey, sharing your feelings and choices and actions with the world helps you stay accountable to your goals.

4. Deal with failure effectively.

Dealing with failure effectively is all in your perception of it. Failure can be an extremely helpful learning tool if you use it appropriately. Instead of seeing a failure -because you will fail in establishing a new habit; that is inevitable- in the development of a new habit as a failure of yourself, recognize that it’s simply a small setback on your way to getting a new habit going, and see what you can learn from that failure.

5. Enlist support.

And by “enlist support” I mean “tell everyone you know who might be helpful”! Your friends, your family, your colleagues: anyone and everyone who will encourage you and provide helpful feedback. This also helps you create another form of accountability: if your colleague asks you how your new exercise regimen is going when you walk into the office every day, it’s yet another trigger for the development of that new habit.

6. Learn helpful coping mechanisms.

Sometimes the habits we want to change are coping mechanisms: for stress, for anxiety, for relief from the daily grind. But healthy habits help us cope effectively and create more functional mechanisms in our lives, while unhealthy habits do the opposite. Recognizing that your new habit is creating more effective means of coping can be helpful in establishing it firmly in your life.
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7. Be kind to yourself.

Try a little gentle self-talk when you experience failure instead of brooding over your difficulties. Making changes is hard and it’s really hard to develop new habits. I always say I need to be nice to myself because I don’t know what the rest of the world has in store for me. It’s served me well. Have some empathy and compassion with yourself; try thinking of yourself like you’re your own best friend. You wouldn’t beat your friend up for a failure when they are trying to make healthy changes, so why do it to yourself?

8. Get a partner involved.

Aligning your goals and changes with someone trying to do the same thing can be enormously helpful. They can help you with failures and setbacks, provide their own insights as to how to handle them and give feedback and support on the regular. Having a partner who can help see you through the tough times and celebrate your triumphs is an exceptionally useful weapon in your arsenal to combat old habits and install new ones.

9. Energy and sleep levels matter…a LOT.

Making changes to your habits is tough enough on its own; if you’re suffering from sleep deprivation or lacking quality sleep it can seem insurmountable. Our energy levels affect everything we do and getting enough high-quality sleep is absolutely essential to developing new habits and instilling new changes in your life.

10. Build trust in yourself.

Ultimately, you’re accountable to yourself for establishing new habits, making changes to put them in place and becoming a better person. You’re worth it! Have a little faith that you are worthy of this new life, these new changes, and these new habits that are going to build a better, more powerful you.

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These Comics Have Nothing to do with Sex, But Explain Consent Beautifully

The prevalence of sexual assault in our world is both terrifying and very, very real. In developing nations, rape is an epidemic. Even in a first world country like the United States, however, the statistics are startling. RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, is our nation’s largest anti sexual violence organization. According to them, someone is the victim of a sexual assault every two minutes in the United States. Meanwhile, less than one percent of those perpetrators will go to prison. Here are more troubling statistics on the scope of this problem within our own borders.
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Why do so many sexually aggressive criminals get away without any penalty? The answer to this is incredibly complex, but it begins with the fact that most rapists are never confronted by law enforcement at all. The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that the majority of rapes and sexual assaults perpetrated against women and girls in the United States are not reported to the police. Only 36 percent of rapes, 34 percent of attempted rapes, and 26 percent of sexual assaults are actually reported. All too often, the victim does not see the encounter as a rape or sexual assault, because society teaches her to blame herself (or himself) for what happened. As a society, we do not want to confront the reality of sexual assault, so we find it easier to put the burden of responsibility on the victim. It is much more simple to say that she had dressed too provocatively, allowed herself to get too intoxicated, was not being properly vigilant of her surroundings, or was behaving too flirtatiously than to accept that she was the victim of a violent crime. Because of this mindset, many victims will never admit – to the world or to themselves – that they were assaulted.

This comic, created by Alli Kirkham and published by Everyday Feminism, illustrates seven common misconceptions about sexual consent by applying their logic to other activities. Like the popular tea explanation, these comic strips are a simple way to explain consent to someone who might be struggling with whether or not they gave (or received) it.

Image source: the Internet, please if you are the creator of this image, contact us to source it properly or take it down
SOURCE: EVERYDAYFEMINISM.COM

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People Explain Why They Lost Interest After a Few Dates

We’ve all had it happen: after one or two good dates, a connection you thought was growing suddenly drops off. It’s not a natural fizzle on both ends or a pleasant parting of ways. You’ve been ghosted, and you don’t know why. The first date went very well, and even led to a second. You got your hopes up. Then, before the partnership solidified into something real or substantial, he was gone. You were too close to be unaffected, but not close enough to demand answers without looking like a crazy person. It’s an awkward area to leave a relationship hanging. We took to the internet and asked a very wide range of people what made them lose interest in a potential partner early on – specifically between dates number two and five.
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Here are their answers:

-He told me he doesn’t want kids. I have three children.
-She tried to sell me life insurance.
-He told me he was voting for Trump.
-She was rude to our waitress.
-He asked me if he could please braid my hair. It was weird.
-She was a smoker. She was also smoking hot, so I tried to look past it. I couldn’t.
-He told me he had a “thing” for Hispanic women. I am Hispanic.
-I found out she was married.
-He got very drunk and still insisted on driving me home. It was scary.
-I found out I was moving.
-He made several racist comments.
-She kept bringing up her ex-boyfriend.
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-He told me he’d done porn before.
-She literally spat on the floor – twice – while we were eating at a nice restaurant.
-Her breath was horrible.
-He was almost an hour late to pick me up for our third date.
-She didn’t laugh at any of my jokes.
-He told me he loves to hunt. I am a vegetarian and an animal rights activist. I also hate guns.
-I found out she bullied my sister in high school.
-He spent the whole date looking at his phone.
-I found out she dated my cousin – for like six years.
-He had no professional ambitions.
-We walked by a homeless person and she was openly disgusted, saying the city should get “those types” off the streets.
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-Life just got too busy.
-She stole something from a store during our date. She didn’t know I saw her.
-He didn’t offer to pay for my dinner.
-She was very obviously on drugs – acted completely different on the second date than the first. It was bizarre.
-His ex-wife followed us to the movies and sat in the back of the theater.
-She complained about everything.
-He lied about where he lived and what he did for work.
-He wanted to control every aspect of our date. I prefer to be the one calling the shots.
-The sex was terrible.
-She had several cats and her clothes were covered in cat hair. I’m allergic to cats and spent the whole date miserable. She seemed really nice, though.
-I missed my ex-boyfriend too much to continue dating someone new.
-She was boring and stuck-up.
-I just didn’t feel a spark.
-She asked me where I saw our future going. We had only known each other for two weeks.
-I found out he had a kid. I don’t want kids.

Relationships fizzle out for all of these reasons, and a million more. If you are comfortable with how you behaved on your date, then you need to find someone who accepts you for who you are. There are plenty of people out there who will love your kids and tolerate your pro-Trump enthusiasm. If you did something you wish you hadn’t, you can apologize and work on your behavior. There are plenty of other men and women out there to date, and the whole process can be somewhat of a learning experience. Give yourself time and patience, and be your best self.

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In Less Than 1 Minute, This Story Will Change Your Thinking

This short story is full of inspiration and beauty, and I promise you, it will change how you see things.

“Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon
to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
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His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and
families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service,
where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he
would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he
could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world
would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played
on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked
arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city
skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the
man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this
picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his
mind s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive
words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only
to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants
to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be
moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch,
and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first
look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the
window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate
who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the
wall. She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.‘

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own
situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.”

The author for this short story is unknown. However, the original story, which this was taken from, was written by Harry Buschman and can be found here. Titled The Man by the Window, It is much more detailed, and therefore will take a bit longer than a minute to read, but I highly recommend you give it a go.

If this short story touched you in any way, then the original will definitely tug at your heart-strings.

Image via YouTube

The post In Less Than 1 Minute, This Story Will Change Your Thinking appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Are You a People-Hater, or Just an Introvert?

There is a tremendous amount of pressure in our world to be socially outgoing. This is not only deeply baffling, but totally unwarranted. Rather than an innocuous personality trait like patience or playfulness, shyness is often seen as somewhat of a shortcoming. Some even report feeling shame in regards to their introverted leanings. Quiet people are more inclined to apologize for who they are and fight their natural inclinations, rather than simply acting in a way that makes them feel comfortable. For this reason, many people grow up never realizing they have a heavily introverted nature. They just think they hate people.
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This reasoning is faulty based on the simple fact that introverts usually have very deep friendships. They love people – they just also love being alone to recharge their energy after spending time with them. This can cause a lot of confusion to someone more extroverted, who might be much more liberal with their social time. An introvert might offend their friend without meaning to, or send a signal that they don’t intend to simply by staying home. In the context of social pressure, they might just give in to the common misconception that they don’t like people. It’s easier, after all, than explaining – to themselves and to others – that their friendships just operate differently.

So, how can you be sure that you are, in fact, an introvert – and not just someone who hates people? Here are some simple signs:

-You can’t stand small talk, and would much rather have a meaningful conversation.

-You have lots of introverted friends. You may not hang out with them every day, but your bond runs deep.

-You would rather go to a small dinner party than a big extravaganza. One-on-one coffee is even better.
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-You hesitate when making plans because you don’t have the energy to go out – not because you don’t love the person trying to extract you from the couch.

-You are relieved when a friend cancels plans. You didn’t want to go out, but you also didn’t want to hurt their feelings.

How did extroversion become the preferred mindset in our society, when introverts have so many valuable qualities? Maybe it’s for the simple reason that extroverts are the ones doing most of the talking. Maybe it’s because introversion is often (wrongfully) confused with rejection, which nobody likes. Whatever the reason, it’s time to rethink this mindset as a society. “Don’t underestimate me because I’m quiet,” said introvert Michaela Chung. “I know more than I say, think more than I speak and observe more than you know.”

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10 Signs You Are in a Toxic Relationship

It’s deceptively easy to get trapped in a toxic relationship. In fact, many people remain in denial well past the point when real damage begins to happen. Even toxic relationships have their happy moments, after all. However, when you begin to lose yourself and compromise your own sense of integrity, it’s time to re-evaluate – no matter how great the good times are.
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Here are ten signs that your relationship is toxic:

1. You feel like you can’t do anything right.

If you feel this way, your partner is likely taking your good qualities for granted and focusing on your flaws. Nobody is perfect, but in a healthy relationship, your significant other will support you and make you feel good about yourself. A partner who chips away at your self-esteem is not worth keeping around. Find someone who makes you feel like you can conquer the world.

2. You find yourself avoiding your partner – or you catch them avoiding you.

Taking some time to be alone is healthy. However, if you genuinely dread spending time with your significant other, it may be time to call it quits. Happy couples treasure their time together. Find someone you enjoy being around.
Six Kinds of Toxic Relationships

3. Your partner’s happiness is more important than your own.

Trying desperately to please someone in the hope that they’ll stick around is exhausting and sad. More importantly, it teaches you to devalue your own happiness. Find a partner who realizes that your happiness is as important as their own. A good relationship should go both ways.

4. You’re not allowed to grow.

People change. If you’re lucky, you will mature and improve as you do so. A partner who is insecure may discourage this, and if you give in to this mindset you could end up sacrificing a valuable part of your identity. Find someone who supports you and takes pride in the person you want to become.

5. You (or your partner) suffer from a major jealous streak.

Excessive jealousy is a huge red flag in a relationship. It signifies insecurity, immaturity, and a lack of trust. If a jealous outburst is the only way your partner shows you that he loves you, it is absolutely time to kick him to the curb. He is not being romantic, and he is not being passionate. He is throwing a tantrum like a child.
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6. You romanticize the past instead of looking toward the future.

This is a subtle sign of dysfunction, but a very important one. Even in a healthy relationship, it is fun to look back on the carefree early days. However, if this isn’t accompanied by daydreams about what the future might hold, it could be a sign that your best days are indeed behind you. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is harder.

7. You have the same arguments over and over again.

If you are repeating an argument, that means nothing got resolved the first time. This is a sign of a larger problem. Arguing without resolving anything means that you are not communicating well. Either you are fighting just to fight, or you are not listening to one another. Either way, you are not addressing your conflicts in a healthy way.

8. You habitually lie to one another.

If you are lying to your partner, it means one of two things. Either you are doing something you know is not okay, or you do not trust them to understand something you are doing that you do feel is okay. Either way, there is no trust in your partnership.

9. You feel yourself become tense around your significant other.

Your relationship should feel like a soft place to fall after a long day. It’s normal to feel uneasy while you are fighting, but if this is the everyday tone of your partnership it is definitely time to end things.
10 Toxic Relationships Mentally Strong People Avoid

10. You don’t feel like yourself.

This is a major sign that you are compromising your identity or your integrity for the sake of your relationship. This is not a fair or healthy compromise to make. You need to be free to find your best self, rather than chasing the version of you that your partner wants you to be.

Hugh Mackay once said “Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.” No relationship is perfect, and no partner is happy and satisfied one hundred percent of the time. However, there is a big difference between healthy compromise and losing your identity. Don’t count on your relationship to make you whole – but by all means, find one that allows you to strive for wholeness, happiness, and life satisfaction. You deserve it.

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This Man Gives Shelter Puppies Makeovers For Free To Help Them Get Adopted

Source: ABC News

Everyone feels better after a good makeover – but for most of us, the results are not life-or-death. For a shelter dog, however, a good haircut paired with a flattering photo can actually save a life. Most shelters can not afford to do this. Many are run entirely on time, effort, and money donated by generous volunteers. Between the cost of food, space, and medical care for these animals, lots of shelters struggle to stay afloat at all. Sadly, over a million dogs are euthanized each year due to their inability to be adopted into a loving home. Given these realities, it’s no wonder that puppy makeovers are low on a typical shelter’s list of financial priorities. However, their effect can be truly life-changing.
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It is easy to look at the statistics on homeless animals and feel sad. Taking action is much harder. Mark Imhof, a groomer based in New York City, is doing just that. Imhof travels to local shelters and donates baths and haircuts to the dogs who are staying there as they await adoption. “These are dogs,” Imhof told ABC News. “They want to love someone and I think when they have a crusty shell on them and things like that, it makes them unable to do so. When I can clean them up, you can see [their] eyes and it makes them easier to connect. It’s trying to bring these dogs to comfort, so they can become more adoptable and that’s the goal.”

As a professional dog walker, pet sitter, and groomer, Imhof beautifies and cares for dogs with the skill of a seasoned expert. However, he donates his time and expertise to the Animal Care Shelters of NYC (ACC) for no charge. For Imhof, the chance to enrich the lives of these hopeful dogs and their future owners is reward enough. As Imhof told The Dodo, “I have seen such transformations in almost all the dogs and it is so uplifting and I know they will pay that love forward to their future forever homes.” For a dose of cuteness and warm fuzzies, you can follow Imhof’s work on his Instagram.

Source: ABC News

Source: ABC News

Source: ABC News

Source: ABC News

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