How “3D” Thinking Creates Abundance

Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw once said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”  Luckily, we live in a time of phenomenal possibilities. Today you can create and manifest your highest intentions and your greatest abundance. Here’s a simple process to bring your dreams to life.
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Identify Your Personal Vision

How you see yourself informs your motivation. It drives your decisions about where you live, work, socialize, eat, exercise, play, and, well, evolve. So, what’s your inner “ideal” ? How do you imagine yourself doing what makes your heart sing, in an ideal location, wildly successful?  See every detail. Be bold! Write it out, or, paint it’s story and hang it on the wall.  Create your “vision” board.

In the early 90’s, Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for $10 million dollars  for “acting services rendered”, dated 1994.  He walleted his reminder until, “Dumb and Dumber”,  released in 1994, paid $10 million.

Recognize the Emotions of Abundance

When you detail your personal vision,  you’re bound to feel enthusiasm, conviction, courage, creativity and joy. Invigorated, you build confidence.  This  acts as a magnet, attracting into your world every type of support essential to fulfill your ideal.  Doubtful?  Well, quantum physics  finally proves what countless teachings have long suggested.  In the words of Einstein, “Imagination is everything.”
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Understand the Power of the Subconscious

When you engage all  of your senses to see abundance you practice a “3D” reality. You impress your subconscious mind.  Everything you manifest, including how your life is right now, originates in your subconscious, your field of limitless possibilities. Here are ways to  cultivate this field and replace limited beliefs with new truths.

Honor Your Authentic Self

When you succeed, everyone benefits. Your wealth, health, and emotional ’ Joie de Vivre’ ripple across the pond of your community and this beautiful planet with its own infectious light.  Isn’t time to claim your right  to the life you deserve?

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Science Confirms Benefits of LSD

Over fifty years ago random, covert and often dangerous experiments  with LSD were conducted by the CIA.

The subjects were unwitting American civilians and military personnel and the outcomes could fuel your worst nightmare. Nonetheless, many of these chaotic experiences, in addition to the hippie culture’s evangelized reports, informed our perceptions.
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Until now that is, since recent double blind studies conducted by respected scientists offer truly remarkable outcomes. To understand the effects of LSD we need  wrap our mind around a paradox. Measured psychological effects run the range of positive, negative, mystical and strange.

The short term experiences from a single dose administered to healthy adults consistently included a psychosis-like altered state.  Mid to long term experiences (more than one year), however, reported a heightened sense of well being. This past February, scientists and psychiatrists at the Imperial College, London, published results that noted the greater benefit being an improved quality of cognition. This “loosened cognition” afforded the participants more flexibility in their sense of Openness.
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There are five measureable domains of  our personality:  Neuroticism, Extroversion, Openness, Agreeableness and Conscientiousness. Openness includes aesthetic appreciation, creativity, and imagination. More flexibility in Openness translated to a broader sense of interconnectedness with all people and things, a sort of transcendence of their former beliefs.

Commonly identified as the mystical experience of LSD, earlier research (2011) uncovered the same increase in one’s personality domain known as Openness. Though personality traits are relatively enduring and fairly stable by age 30,  similar experiments resulted in long term changes in behaviors, attitudes and values at least 40-50% of the time. Despite consistent short-term psychosis-like events, participants described a greater sense of peace and joy that were elevated from previous patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.
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Will this lead to clinical benefits? Treatment for  issues of depression, addiction and end-of-life anxiety are being explored.  But if you’re curious for anecdotal, personal experience, you might enjoy this amazing  narrative,  or this brief highlight by pioneering neurologist Oliver Sacks.  

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Do You Have High Functioning Depression?

Imagine a person who is struggling with depression. Are they unable to get out of bed? Failing out of school? Spending all of their time alone? Are they always crying? This is the picture painted for us by pop culture and the pharmaceutical companies – and it’s a real problem. Depression sometimes looks like this. More often than not, though, it’s more complex.
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Depression can hide behind bright smiles and good grades. It can live within social butterflies and athletic success stories. It can raise well-behaved children, maintain a clean house, and cook fantastic meals. It can double a company’s quarterly profits. It goes to class, hangs out with friends, and shows up to work on time. Really, it can look like anything. It makes an art form of blending in. It hides within us, and it hides from us. It carves out holes in our being. It eats us away from the inside, before we even know it is there.

All too often, it doesn’t show on the outside at all.

High-functioning depression is insidious because it is quiet. It hides beneath layers of perfectionism. It feeds off of denial and shame. It convinces us not to get help. We don’t look like the hopeless and unkempt women in the anti-depressant commercials. We are breadwinners. We are caregivers. We are doers. We run the PTA and organize the bake sale. We facilitate board meetings. We go to spin class. We land big accounts at work.

People depend on us.

We don’t look hopeless or helpless. We haven’t cried in years. We don’t spend our days lying in bed, wasting away, unable to face the world. We aren’t mentally ill. We’re high functioning! We get things done, for crying out loud!
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So we don’t get help.

And the void inside of us continues to grow.

We lose more of our lives to this disease. We attend our children’s soccer games, but we aren’t really there. We grit our teeth and hide our irritability. Our inner world grows more desperate. With the exception of the occasional dark joke or sharp comment, we keep it bottled up. We don’t get help, because nobody would ever believe that we needed it.

We don’t believe it ourselves.

Our depression may isolate us from the people who care about our well-being the most. It causes us to withdraw. It can prevent us from showing up for the ones we love – even when we are physically present. It may irritate us into making hurtful comments or cruel jokes. “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad,” wrote Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. There are many ways our depression can make us lonely. There are many ways our loneliness can make us depressed.

“The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived,” explained Katie McGarry.
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Getting help is not the same as admitting defeat. In fact, it is just the opposite. Asking for help is a difficult thing to do. It makes you strong. It just might give you your life back.

If you suffer from high-functioning depression, don’t allow it to bully you into submission. Fight back.

Here are some resources that can get you started.

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What Is High Functioning Anxiety?

Anxiety is hard to understand. High-functioning anxiety is even more so. We stress, we plan, we panic. We achieve. We tell people we’re fine. We say this so much we may start to believe it ourselves.
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On the inside, though, we are drowning.

It might leak out from time to time in little ways. We bite our nails. We grind our teeth. We move on with our day.

Maybe the leaks become more significant. We start pulling out strands of our hair. We cancel plans at the last minute. We begin skipping meals and counting calories to feel more firmly in control. These behaviors may not look like anxiety, but this disease rarely stays put neatly in a box. Not like the rest of our lives.

We may have panic attacks that literally take our breath away. These can come with chest pains that feel like a heart attack, or sweaty hands and full-body chills. We may have no symptoms at all but a sense that the world is closing in around us.

We smile through them, and we carry on.

We continue to achieve dramatically. We act as if accolades are the cure for that thing which feels so very wrong with us. We become team captain. We chase a promotion at work. We maintain stellar grades. We hold the report card, the winning shot, the good review. We press them close to our chest, like armor. These things prove that we are okay. These things prove that we are good enough.
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Still, in the face of our greatest achievements, the anxiety makes its way into our lives. It seems as though each victory only brings more pressure. Will I say the wrong thing? Will I botch an assignment? What if I don’t make that deadline? Will that be what does it? Or will it be something else? When will it come?

What will be the thing I do that causes the mask to slip? How long do I have until everyone learns I’m not good enough?

What if they already know? Do they see me flailing?

We find the evidence wherever it is, and even where it isn’t. A warm smile is mistaken for a condescending smirk. A compliment is examined for backhanded angles. An unanswered text becomes suspect, rather than routine.

We may withdraw from our friendships. We might push through as a part of our effort to seem “okay.” The people close to us notice something is wrong, but they aren’t sure what. After all, we’re keeping up with work. We’re getting good grades. They might label us as busy or stressed, or something similarly innocuous. They don’t realize that we only keep moving forward because we’re too afraid to stop.
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They don’t realize that we’re not truly living a life. We do too good a job at faking it. We smile. We laugh. We dance. We tell ourselves that we’re okay, and the world believes us.

We deserve more.

You deserve more than this, whether you know it or not.

Asking for help is a tremendously difficult and courageous thing to do.

We owe it to ourselves to live whole and happy lives. Start on your path to wellness, and don’t stop trying until you feel like your best self. There’s medication, talk therapy, and group support. There’s acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments. Many people use essential oils, verbal affirmations, journaling, or art therapy. We live in a world full of answers. Use them to become whole again. Blend your favorites. Make your wellness a priority.

Don’t stop searching until you find a treatment plan that works for you. You are absolutely worth it.

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25 Things NOT To Say To Your Kids

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children,” wrote John Steinbeck in East of Eden. Boy, does it ever! We need courage to love, to lead, and to nurture. Sometimes we need courage just to make it through the day.
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Most difficult of all is finding the courage to admit when we are wrong. Often, we say things out of habit, frustration, or even good intentions that just aren’t helpful. We can’t take our words back – but we can stop saying them now.

Here are 25 things that your child does not need to hear from you:

“Don’t be sad/mad/upset.”

We can’t help the way we feel. Teach your child do work through their emotions rather than denying them.

“You’re a much better reader than Kevin!”

Don’t encourage your child to compare themselves to their friends. Help them focus on their own growth. They don’t need to validate themselves at the expense of others.

“You’re my perfect angel!”

This makes your child believe that you expect perfection from them. According to an Ohio State University study, this can lower your child’s self-esteem and promote a fear of failure. Instead, love them in their imperfection.

“Why can’t you be more like Claire?”

Your child is unique, wonderful, and special. Encourage them to be the best version of themselves – not a second-rate copy of somebody else.

“I can’t say no to you, sweetheart!”

Children need boundaries to feel safe and develop good behavioral skills. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child.
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“I know you didn’t mean to kick your brother.”

Um, yes they did. Find out why.

“I told you so.”

How do you like to hear this as an adult? If you have the opportunity to say this phrase, there’s a good chance your child has already learned from their mistake.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself!”

According to a University of Michigan study, children who are shamed become defiant and aggressive.

“This is how we’ve disciplined children in this family for generations. I turned out just fine.”

The idea that something has always been done a certain way is NOT a good reason to keep doing it.

“As long as you live here, you will live by my rules.”

Your child might take you up on this threat and run away. If they stay, they will feel trapped and unwelcome in their own home.
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“Don’t make me cancel Christmas/turn this car around/send you to military school!”

When you make threats you cannot or will not enforce, you undermine your own credibility.

“Because I said so!”

If your child asks about a rule, take the time to explain it to them. Would you follow a rule you didn’t agree with or understand?

“You’re making me angry/sad/frustrated.”

Your child is not responsible for your emotions. This phrase teaches them to shift responsibility for their emotional state on to others, rather than working through negative feelings on their own.

“Ugh, what do you need NOW?”

Teach your children that their needs are important. This will help them become adults who take care of themselves.

“You’re acting like a baby.”

Is your child anxious? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared? Frustrated? Don’t shame them. Help them to work through their feelings.

“Big kids aren’t afraid to do that.”

Don’t invalidate your child’s fears. Instead, be an ally in conquering them.

“Hurry up!”

This phrase is very common, but ineffective. It doesn’t make children move faster. It only stresses them out.

“You’re fine.”

It’s up to your child to decide if they feel okay or not.

“Calm down. It’s not a big deal.”

It might not be a big deal to you – but it is to your child. If you want them to share the big stuff with you when they’re older, you need to listen to the little stuff now. To them, it’s all important.

“Stop crying.”

Children need to express their feelings. Don’t teach them to bottle up their emotions.

“Eat your broccoli. It’s healthy!”

According to researchers at the University of Chicago, this reinforces the idea that healthy foods don’t taste good. Don’t make a chore of eating nutritious meals. Make vegetables tasty and fun instead.

“I can’t eat that. I need to lose weight.”

We all have issues with our body image – but we don’t need to share them with our children. Set an example of self-acceptance instead.

“Too much ice cream will make you fat.”

Keep the emphasis on health and happiness, rather than looks. Your children are beautiful exactly as they are.
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“It was great that you scored a goal today. Maybe next time you’ll score two!”

Celebrate success. Don’t minimize it by expecting more.

“You were so nice today. Why can’t you be like this all the time?”

Don’t take the victory away from them. Praise good behavior without turning it into a backhanded compliment.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands,” wrote Anne Frank. We do the best we can. We work hard to send our children along the correct roads in life, and eventually to forge their own. We cannot control the destination. We can only hope to fill them with wisdom, love, and respect to take along the way.

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This Cat Won’t Stop Thanking Its New Owner After Almost Being Put To Sleep

Six Ways to Harness Your Inner Alpha

Think of an alpha male or alpha female. What sets them apart? Are the successful? Respected? Does leadership come naturally to them? Do they have a way of getting what they want?

Very few of us naturally take on this persona. The beta personality traits rest in our comfort zone. We let the true leadership work fall to the alphas. It only seems natural.

The problem with this is that great leadership draws from both mindsets. The most successful people in business are often beta personalities who have learned key alpha traits. If a beta personality can cultivate the alpha within just enough to slide to the middle of the spectrum, they set themselves up for a remarkable level of success. Take the best of both worlds. Speak like an alpha, but listen like a beta. Promote your own ideas, but learn from others. Awaken your inner alpha and become the great leader you know you can be.

Here are six ways to do that:

1. Mind Your Arrogance

When trying to come across as more confident, many people overshoot the mark. This can make you seem pushy and abrasive. Tap into the beta side of your brain, and notice how other people react to your new boost in confidence. If they seem put off, you may want to turn it down a notch. Take the time to fine tune your new attitude. Learn to walk the line between being confident and being a bully.

2. Find a Role Model

Think of someone whose leadership style you admire. This person should be effective, successful, and well liked. Ask them to mentor you. Discuss the way you come across on a daily basis. Ask your mentor to clue you in on small mistakes that may undermine the way you present yourself. Practice important speeches and difficult conversations with your mentor. Use their wisdom.

3. Dress for Confidence

I would love to say that appearance doesn’t matter. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t. However, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in this one. Dress in a way that is acceptable in your environment. Put together an outfit that conveys maturity, self-assuredness, and intelligence. Most importantly, wear something that makes you feel confident. Even the most perfectly curated ensemble can weigh you down if it makes you feel phony or wrong. Wearing an outfit you feel comfortable in will put you more at ease in the world. You should feel like the best possible version of yourself – not someone else.
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4. Take Action

If you see work that needs to be done, get right to it. Take the initiative to get things accomplished. This demonstrates problem solving skills, confidence, and a strong work ethic. Jumping in where you see you are needed is a very alpha move. It projects a sense of duty and a high self-worth. It is the rare tactic that conveys these qualities without an air of self-centeredness or arrogance. Others will take notice.

5. Smile Often

Alpha personalities often sacrifice likeability to get results. For this reason, building relationships becomes more crucial with every inch you slide along the alpha scale. Show others that you care by the simple act of smiling. Smile warmly when you greet somebody to let them know you’re happy to see them. Smile with appreciation to let someone know that you notice their good work. Smile with gratitude when someone helps you complete a task. A smile makes you more more attractive, more likeable, and more confident. It sounds simple, but most people do not do this nearly enough.

6. Take Calculated Risks

With great risks come great rewards. These are the big moves that alpha personalities are most known for. Start small. Try a food that scares you a little bit. Go on a hike you would normally find too intimidating. Ease into the world of risk where the stakes are low. Then, when a big risk comes along that feels right, you can jump into it with comfort and confidence.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi realized that the only thing standing between our current selves and our best selves is our attitude. Change your mind about who you can be and what you can do. You’ll be amazed at the person you uncover.
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Six Things Narcissists Say

“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people,” wrote Jonathan Franzen. His words may sound harsh, but they are absolutely true. Kindness and generosity often seem to make us even more vulnerable to unhealthy relationships. Toxic people know how to seek out these qualities. They know how to exploit them. A common perpetrator of this behavior is the garden variety narcissist.

Here are six things a narcissist might say to manipulate you:

1. “Nobody else feels this way. You’re the only person I have these kinds of fights with!”

A narcissist will try to place the blame squarely and exclusively on you. By singling you out, they are trying to isolate you in your pain. They want to shake your confidence. Don’t let them. Discuss the situation with a friend and ask if they think you are overreacting. When they confirm that you aren’t, take this validation to heart. You have a right to your feelings. Being hurt does not make you wrong.

2. “You’re remembering that wrong. It actually happened very differently.”

Gaslighting is an abuse tactic wherein one partner intentionally causes the other to doubt their own reality. It shakes the victim’s confidence in their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It causes them to question their very experience. This leaves the narcissist free to construct their own version of reality, which can look any way they like. Defend your own memory, and own your perceptions. Don’t allow this abuse to stop you from trusting your own mind.
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3. “You’re so selfish/paranoid/controlling.”

Often, a narcissist will project their own character flaws onto their partner. This is easier than taking ownership or trying to change them. Psychological projection is extremely common among narcissists and non-narcissists alike. It’s considered to be a basic defense mechanism. We are all prone to using it at times to protect our self image and deny our problems. Narcissists, however, are more adept at this thinking than most.

4. “I love that dress, but are your legs really your best asset to show off?”

Narcissists are masters of the backhanded compliment. “Congratulations on the internship! I’m glad you managed to land it, even with those grades.” “That’s a beautiful ring! I’m sure he’ll upgrade to a bigger stone when he can afford it.” These are not compliments. They are insults disguised as such to make the narcissist feel superior without looking mean. They are designed to damage your self-esteem and leave you vulnerable to further abuse.
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5. “Come on, you know I didn’t mean it that way. You’re just so sensitive.”

Nothing is a narcissist’s fault – not even their own words and actions. A narcissist will avoid taking responsibility for hurtful behavior at all costs. Instead, they will place the blame on you. You’re too sensitive. You’re just looking for trouble. You’re always starting fights like this. If you feel guilty and self-conscious for being hurt, it is very likely you are dealing with a narcissist.

6. “They don’t understand our relationship. They’ve just never felt love this strong.”

This may sound sweet – however, it is anything but. A narcissist will use this line as a weapon. With this phrase, they discredit family and friends who are trying to show you how damaging your relationship is. These people care about you. There is a good chance they have experienced an unhealthy relationship of their own. Don’t let a narcissist isolate you from these people. They are on your side. Hold on to them tightly.

“When the healthy pursuit of self-interest and self-realization turns into self-absorption, other people can lose their intrinsic value in our eyes and become mere means to the fulfillment of our needs and desires,” wrote P.M. Forni. To a narcissist, even their most valued relationships are mostly about them. They will never be able to treasure you with the same care that a healthy partner would show. This is why it’s best to let them go.
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7 Reasons To Date a Girl Who Travels

There was an article spread online a while ago under a debatable title: “Don’t date a girl who travels”. In my view it came across in a sort of defensive form “Don’t dare to date a girl who travels, unless you are happy to let her go anyway”. Really? Is that the only conclusion a poor guy can make when meeting a girl who travels on his life journey?

Thankfully not. Here it’s an antidote to it. Tut. Date a girl who travels because:

One: You will expand your boundaries.

You know this. There is no better way to open up to the world than spending some time with a person who knows something about it. You gain precious knowledge and you will take it in, because it’s not “the wisdom” given by your local butcher who gathers it from daily press release. It’s this interesting girl who will tell you about it!

Two: You become inspired.

Big time. The world will open up for you, and who knows, maybe soon you will be off rocking to your dream destination.

Three: You have no drama dates guaranteed.

Because travelling for a long time shapes people’s character to a very strong degree. The girl who travels, if at any point was a drama queen, had to give up this attitude a long time ago, because travelling is amazing, but demands no mercy. The girl who travels had to put up with lack of sleep, comfort, sometimes loneliness and she has to have eyes in a back of her head to protect herself. She put up with all that and turned it into a positive experience. Otherwise she would not be able to travel for too long.
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Four: You have no high maintenance nonsense.

Similarly to the point above there is no drama if there are no expensive dinners and days out. Travelling teaches taking initiative pretty much at all times and making the best out of every moment, even the most awkward ones. And the girl who travels can offer you all these and will appreciate them too.

Five: You will experience no boredom.

Unless discovering, trying new activities and learning about yourself is a bore to you.

Six: You will have your space.

The girl who travels has a number of things going on in her life and there is no way she will be meowing behind you day by day to entertain her. She will get on with her stuff, not to mention her travelling. So when she is off you can happily hook up with your mates and experience so called “your space” which we – people of the West seem to all crave now days.
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And finally…. (this is the best one!)

Seven: Go to travel with her and you’ll find out whether you are compatible in the speed of light.

Travelling together as a couple is an amazing and enriching experience which in the ideal world will add the value to your relationship. However let’s be honest, it can be also a very intense thing to do. You may not be used to it, especially if this sort of travelling is new to you, so it’s your relationship. So date a girl who travels, pack your toys and go with her for probably one of the most unforgettable life journeys, and you’ll quickly find out whether you are getting the wings from this, or you just wasting your time. And if this is the case, you can always date a different girl who travels. At some point you may both stop at your desired destination!
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The Gulabi Gang: Women and Justice in India

In a country known for its violence against women, a vigilante group has literally taken to the streets wielding sticks to enforce its own brand of justice.

The coolest part? This group is made up entirely of women.

“Yes, we fight rapists with lathis (sticks). If we find the culprit, we thrash him black and blue so he dare not attempt to do wrong to any girl or a woman again,” explained Sampat Devi Pal, the founder of India’s notorious Gulabi Gang. Devi first picked up her stick against a neighbor who had beaten his wife. That was thirty years ago, and she has not put it down since.

Along the way, many Indian women have joined her cause. Many more have come to her seeking justice. “People know my name and they’ve come because they’ve heard about my work,” she said. In a nation where a woman is reportedly raped once every fifteen minutes, the popularity of her cause comes as no surprise.

Even the nation’s men have come to respect (and certainly fear) the Gulabi Gang. They make themselves known by their pink saris, which instill a sense of pride in each member. “I get a lot of respect and dignity when I wear the pink sari,” said Maya Davy, a young mother of five who has been a member for almost two years. “Men speak nicely, they listen to me, they’re not authoritarian anymore, so it’s better.”

The Gulabi Gang‘s mission to “protect the powerless from abuse and fight corruption” is a challenging one. They fight violence against women, they prevent child marriages, and they also fight for basic rights for the poor. In addition to all of this, they deliver a sense of power to their own members. Many of them have been victims of violence themselves.

“When a woman seeks the membership of Gulabi Gang, it is because she has suffered injustice, has been oppressed and does not see any other recourse,” said Suman Singh, the group’s deputy commander. “All our women can stand up to the men and if need be seek retribution through lathis.”

The Gulabi Gang has also achieved notoriety and respect on an international level. They have been the subject of a documentary and a book, as well as widespread international media attention.

“The justice system in Bundelkhand is dysfunctional and unreliable,” reported Amana Fontanella Khan, journalist and author of Pink Sari Revolution. “The Gulabi Gang has stepped into the vacuum left by the state and offers an alternative means of attaining justice.”

They truly have – and the state cannot help but take notice. “The Gulabi Gang has created such a force of women’s rights and awakening that it has brought a new desire to fight against women’s exploitation,” acknowledged Arvind Sen, the superintendent of police of the Banda district.

Through it all, Devi stands by her message with a warrior’s strength. “Men who commit these atrocities should be beaten by women. They should be caught and have a tattoo of ‘I am a rapist’ engraved on their forehead,” she says. I cannot help but agree.

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