6 Signs You Could Have A Hormonal Imbalance

Hormones don’t only wreak havoc in the lives of teenagers and menopausal women. Believe it or not, hormones can dictate your energy level and mood throughout any stage of adulthood. They can also have an impact on your weight, your memory, and even your sex life. Hormones can cause you to experience undue stress, which is alarming as some consider stress to be a leading health problem of our generation.
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So – could your daily life be improved by addressing a hormonal imbalance?

First, let’s review the hormones which most profoundly impact our daily lives:

• Cortisol is produced in response to stress. It elicits a “fight or flight” response, and can cause weight gain. An imbalance can impair cognitive and immune function, as well. Disruptions in cortisol levels can also cause problems with your sleep cycle.
  
• Testosterone is produced by both sexes, but men produce much more of it. An imbalance in testosterone levels can inhibit male sexual drive and development. In both genders, it can cause fatigue, mood swings, and an increase in body fat.
• Insulin is the hormone that helps your body to process sugar. Insulin resistance can cause you to experience extreme hunger and fatigue. It can also increase your risk for heart disease and stroke.
• Estrogen is produced by both men and women, although women produce it in much higher levels. An estrogen imbalance can cause mood swings, anxiety, headaches, and a slowing of the metabolism.

These hormones work in a delicate balance with one another in the wide context of your entire body. For this reason, it is difficult to pinpoint the nature of a hormonal imbalance without medical testing. However, if you experience the following symptoms, you may want to ask your doctor to investigate your hormonal framework.

1. Weight Gain

Gaining weight can be frustrating, discouraging, and even dangerous. If you are exercising and eating a healthy diet, but are still struggling to lose weight, your hormones may be at fault.

2. Mood Swings

As human beings, it is natural for us to experience a wide range of emotions. However, if your moods fluctuate wildly or do not make sense as a response to your situation, you may have a hormonal imbalance.
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3. Inability to Focus

If you are struggling to remember trivial things throughout the day – such as where you put your keys or what you were supposed to buy at the store – you may be unduly stressed and overwhelmed. You may also need to get your hormone levels checked. A hormonal imbalance can cause you to become forgetful and impair your capacity for concentration.

4. Sleep Problems

Because hormones regulate our energy levels, an imbalance can cause your sleep cycle to become abnormal. Chronic insomnia is something to see your doctor about regardless of a hormonal cause. However, it can also be the sign of an imbalance.

5. Fatigue

Fatigue can be caused by the sleep problems mentioned above, but there are other hormonal factors that can contribute to it as well. Insulin resistance, for example, can cause your body to process sugar incorrectly. This can lead you to become anxious one minute and sluggish the next.

6. Decreased Sexual Appetite

Honestly, any of the symptoms above can cause a decrease in sexual desire. However, a true hormonal imbalance can cause your sex drive to all but disappear. Because sexual desire is fueled by hormones, this should come as no surprise. Although this can be difficult to talk to your doctor about, it is an important symptom to bring up when discussing your hormonal concerns.

If you suspect you may have a hormone imbalance, I encourage you to see your doctor right away. Why live with the symptoms above if you don’t have to? Correcting an imbalance in your hormone levels can increase your quality of life and help you to become the best possible version of yourself.

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8 Limiting Beliefs And Healthy Ones to Replace Them With

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve,” wrote Mary Kay Ash. Of all the limitations we face on the path to success and happiness, the most difficult to overcome are the ones we create for ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to be held back by your own thoughts.
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Here are eight common beliefs that can limit our power. Each is followed by a healthier response.

1. With hard work and determination, I can prevent change from happening.

With hard work, I can adapt well to change. I can use change as an opportunity. I have the power to thrive under new circumstances.

2. If I think something, it must be true.

I am free to change my perceptions and opinions at any time. This happens as the result of new information, a maturing perspective, and the acquisition of wisdom. Just because I currently perceive something to be negative does not make it so.

3. With hard work, I can get my body/confidence/sunny disposition back.

Rather than strive to return to an old state, I will move forward toward a new one. I am growing each day. The setbacks I have faced will make me stronger. I will never be who I once was, but I can become someone even better.

4. My life will be better when _______ happens.

External circumstances do not determine my happiness. My joy comes from within. I can choose to be happy right now. As Stephen Richards wrote, “Even when in the midst of disturbance, the stillness of the mind can offer sanctuary.”

5. I am critical of myself because it makes me better. Nothing I do is good enough for my own standards.

I do not need to be hard on myself to find motivation. I can grow by practicing self-compassion. When I treat myself with kindness and understanding, I am free to become the best version of myself.
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6. I should be happy today.

My moods have the power to fluctuate wildly, because I am a human being. It is okay to feel sad, frustrated, confused, angry, and exhausted. By embracing a negative feeling and allowing myself to explore it, I can allow it to pass through me. Then I can move on, unburdened.

7. My life should be unfolding more like I’d planned.

“It was amazing how you could get so far from where you’d planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be,” wrote Sarah Dessen. My life has sent me to incredible places I never could have planned for or even dreamed of. I will not waste time pining for an alternative version of reality. Embracing the place I am in right now is the most valuable and rewarding thing I can do.

8. I resist the tendency to feel negative emotions.

It is natural to fight against grief, rage, or hurt. It doesn’t work, though. Instead, I will allow myself to experience these feelings. I can learn from them. Fighting them is painful and useless, but embracing them can be validating. Only by feeling these emotions can I allow myself to heal.

Don’t hold yourself back. Identify these limiting beliefs, as well as others, and replace them with more empowering thoughts. You, exclusively, have the power to write your life story. Don’t allow it to be cut short based on ideas that don’t serve you.

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3 Parenting Truths You Haven’t Heard Yet

There are thousands of parenting books out there, each one thicker than the last. Ironically, most parents I know do not have the time to read them. We’re all too busy actually parenting, and most of them contain the same brand of kind but ultimately impractical advice anyway. For this reason, the best parenting wisdom is often missed as it sits on the shelf.
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Luckily for you, I’ve compiled some highlights from the most accessible and authentically written parenting book I have come across. Nurture Shock, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, is built on freeing parenting truths that often go unacknowledged. For example: Embrace being an imperfect parent. You don’t know everything – and that’s okay, because nobody does. Breathe, and allow yourself to be your best. Let that be good enough.

Here are some other favorite insights from the book:

Don’t be afraid to discuss race with your children.

Affluent white parents, in particular, seldom educate their children on the complicated issues surrounding racial relations. This may come from classic white guilt. It may come from the fact that, as non-minorities, we often feel unqualified to talk about race. We may be afraid of our child saying something racially charged in public. However, discussing race with your children is not only wise, but absolutely necessary. Many people believe that very young children do not notice race. This is simply untrue – in fact, it is in a toddler’s nature to notice appearance and gravitate towards children who look like themselves. A child who does not understand race will make up their own mind about why others look different and what that means. Many parents think they are exempt from conversations about race if their child attends an ethnically diverse school. This is not only inaccurate, but dangerous. An environment with a great amount of diversity can actually intensify the inclination to segregate if the children tend to make friends only with other children of the same race.
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Have conversations with your children about racial relations, even when it feels uncomfortable. Explain what discrimination is, and give them examples of people who have fought against it and striven to overcome it. Tell them about Rosa Parks and Jackie Robinson. These stories are easy for children to understand and relate to. Experiments have proven that learning about these historical figures can have a positive effect on your child’s inclination to be accepting of other races. Buy your child dolls of all ethnicities – not just the white ones. If your child herself is not white, this is especially important. Science has proven that children who play with dolls that look like them have better self-esteem than those whose dolls are of another race. Most importantly, do not pretend that race simply does not exist. Your child can see racial differences, and it is your job to help her understand them.

Let’s talk about lying.

There is nothing that makes my eyes roll back into my head like a mother who claims her child never lies. Unless your child has Asperger’s Syndrome, this is not true. If your child is speaking in full sentences, she has probably lied to you today – and probably more than once. A typical four-year-old lies once every two hours, and this rate doubles by the time they turn six. Although most parents believe themselves to be experts at determining whether or not their child is lying, scientific research does not back that up. In fact, studies have proven parents to perform only slightly better than a coin toss – and no better than a stranger – when asked to tell if their own child is lying.

Although steep penalties for lying may seem like the obvious answer, this strategy seems to have the opposite effect. Children who are harshly punished for telling a lie simply become better liars. They see adults telling white lies every day, and understand that the truth is not always the kindest option. A child who lies is not evil. Most likely, they are lying in an attempt to make the adults around them happy. Discuss with your child the damage that lies can do, and let them make educated choices. The idea of a child with unimpeachable honesty may seem charming. However, it is unrealistic, and can be very uncomfortable when they meet someone with fat ankles or an offensive body odor.
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Hold back on the excessive praise.

Of course you think your child is exceptional, and of course you want her to have all the confidence in the world. Excessive praise, however, can actually have an adverse effect of your child’s self-image and ambition. Children as young as seven have been shown to be skeptical of excessive praise. They know their picture isn’t museum worthy. Now they know you’re a liar too, and will take any future congratulations with a grain of salt. Excessive praise is not, as many people think, damaging for its ability to over-inflate your child’s ego. It is damaging because your child will cease to believe it.

You should certainly not stop praising your child altogether. However, you should absolutely save your compliments for when they are truly earned. Be sincere. Emphasize the effort your child put into her project, rather than the end results. Encourage your child to take on challenging tasks. Teach her that working hard in pursuit of a difficult goal is admirable, regardless of the end result. Discuss mistakes as a learning tool. Teach your children that their brain is a muscle, and it needs to be exercised and stretched in order to grow. Challenge yourself to teach these philosophies by example.

Raising children is hard. However, you can make it easier by parenting with humor, self-acceptance, and realism. Be the best person that you can be, and hope that your children follow suit. As James Baldwin once said, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

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How Staying Near Water Changes Our Brains

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.” Margaret Atwood eloquently touched on the spiritual and human nature of water in her novel The Penelopiad. Indeed, human beings have long felt a connection to water that goes far beyond our need for survival.
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Here is a collection of wisdom from scientists, psychologists, and marine biologists regarding water’s affect on the mind and body:

1. Water contains negative ions.

Most of us are inundated with positive ions, as they emit from electronic appliances such as microwaves and computers. When we receive a surplus of positive ions without negative ones to even them out, we can become unbalanced. Negative ions come primarily from natural energy sources, such as storms, rivers, and ocean tides. An atmosphere that is rich in negative ions increases our capacity for oxygen absorption, helping our body and mind to rejuvenate at a greater speed. Maintaining an ionic balance also promotes healthy levels of serotonin, which can help to regulate our moods.

2. The temperature change we experience when we dip into water can be therapeutic.

Cool water can refresh the body and awaken the mind. For this reason, a swim in a chilly lake, especially on a hot summer day, can be both physically invigorating and spiritually renewing. Warm water, by contrast, has a calming effect. A hot bath can relax your muscles and help to quiet your mind. This effortless release of mental and physical tension can be tremendously beneficial after a stressful day.
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3. Water elicits a state of awe.

The scientific nature of “awe” is a trending topic in the world of psychology. What was previously thought to be a purely spiritual phenomenon is now being shown to have physical benefits as well as mental ones. Perhaps the most universal source of “awe” is our natural world. Bodies of water, such as oceans and lakes, can help us to easily connect with our state of awe. This promotes mindfulness, reduces stress, and increases our physical well-being. Perhaps this is why urban residents who were regularly exposed to a natural body of water were proven to have lower psychological stress levels than those who were not.

4. Water facilitates meditation.

The rhythm of crashing waves puts us into a deep and effortless meditative state. Coupled with nature’s capacity for inducing awe, as described above, the rhythm of water can lull us into a deep and hypnotic state of relaxation. Even a small body of water, such as a desktop fountain, can lower your anxiety level, improve mental clarity, and release tension.

Perhaps nobody on earth loves water quite like Wallace J. Nichols, author of Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows How Being Near, In, On, or Under Water Can Make You Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What You Do. In his book, he sums up our responsibility to the earth as follows: “Preserving, protecting, and restoring our waters are tasks for many lifetimes, and sometimes the effort can seem overwhelming. But as long as we stay connected with all of the many, many blessings that water provides, and continue to keep that love in the forefront of our minds and hearts, as long as we remind ourselves to hope, then our stories will help connect others to water and encourage them to do what they can to help care for this beautiful Blue Marble world.”  Indeed, we should treasure the earth, and protect the sanctity of our waters. They certainly strive to return the favor.

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3 Reasons to Talk to Yourself

I have the odd habit of carrying on a conversation with myself. This happens when I’m alone, and especially when I’m feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s just a few words, and sometimes it’s whole sentences – but I’m sure it all would look insane if someone were to drop in undetected. It could be a side effect of narrating so much of my life to my toddler. It could be a sign that I just love to hear my own voice. I’m not sure, but I might discuss this with myself later.
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Strangely, there are some benefits to choosing to talk to yourself like a crazy person. Here they are:

1. Talking to yourself helps to manage your thought process.

Sometimes we need to put our whirlwind of thoughts in order, and words can help us to do just that. In fact, the smarter you are, the more likely your brain is prone to chaos. Our thinking can become confusing and worrisome when confined to an intangible form. This is especially true when our thoughts have emotional undertones. Creating a verbal manifestation of our worries, frustrations, and concerns can help them to become more manageable. The structure that language provides can help us to focus and put things into perspective.  Just about anything sounds less intimidating in a verbal format than it does lurking in the depths of the human mind. By organizing our thoughts and emotions with words, we can process them more easily and effectively.

2. Self-talk is an important part of our learning process.

Human beings, as it turns out, don’t only love the sound of our own voices – we need to hear it. As Charles Q. Choi of Live Science explains,“self-directed speech can help guide children’s behavior, with kids often taking themselves step-by-step through tasks such as tying their shoelaces, as if reminding themselves to focus on the job at hand.” It would seem that as children, we inherently understand the value of self-talk as it relates to brain processing. It is only as we grow older and become more self-aware that we learn to curtail this behavior. Society teaches us that there is no point in talking to oneself because speech is a social construct. However, language has much more value than that. It is also a way that our brains process information and solve problems.

3. Walking yourself through a process in a verbal way can help you to complete it more efficiently.

Consider that you are on your way to the grocery store with your young children. This is an everyday task with thousands of small parts – tying shoes, refereeing arguments, buckling car seats, packing a diaper bag…the list goes on. How many of us, in the midst of this activity, have forgotten to grab the grocery list? By talking yourself through this task, you not only focus your energy as described above, but also connect the visual part of your brain to your physical activity. By saying “grocery list” to yourself, even before it is in sight, you are reminding your brain to be on the lookout for the green notebook that contains it. Self-talk does not only help you to organize your thoughts – it helps you to hold on to them.

“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening,” said author Franklin P. Jones. While he was absolutely correct, it would seem that there are other benefits as well. Talking to oneself may not be a sign of madness after all, but rather a process undertaken by geniuses and high achievers. Try it for a day. See how much smarter (or crazier) you feel!

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Why Are People Who Wear Crazy Socks So Brilliant And Successful

“Argyle socks are the visible sign of the invisible nerdfighter,” says John Green, proud nerdfighter*, argyle sock-wearer and internationally bestselling author. Oh and Internet star. Oh, and two of his books have been made into movies.
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Just another living example of the notion that people who wear crazy socks are brilliant and successful.

Elite Daily profiled crazy sock-wearers as an iconic fashion trend that continues to gain momentum. Along with Scots using tartan to declare rebellion and 1960s women rebelling against the “maxi” skirt trend by wearing increasingly-shorter minis, wearers of colorful, interesting socks demonstrate the importance of embodied cognition. There is serious science behind this: embodied cognition is the idea that what we wear is a direct expression of our mental state…and vice versa.
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Our clothing, then, is not only en extension of our personalities: it goes the other way too. Our clothing choices can influence the way we think or feel and especially they way we are perceived by our colleagues. A New York Times article notes that colorful socks have been in vogue since the late 1800s, and this piece contends that wearing such fanciful footwear helps set you apart at work as gutsy or particularly creative, which can give you a leg up in a competitive environment.

Research conducted by the Harvard Business School corroborates these assertions. A 2014 study showed that “the red sneakers effect” is actually real: that nonconforming behavior modeled by clothing choices creates positive inferences in relation to status and intelligence. In other words, people wearing red sneakers, or argyle socks, are often thought of by others as intellectually or otherwise superior.

This rings true especially in the past few years, where the Silicon Valley explosion has kept makers of colorful and fanciful socks in business. Many tech entrepreneurs and businessmen, from start-up CEOs to the founder of Uber, to higher-ups at YouTube…and that’s just scratching the surface. United States Presidents have also been known to don interesting socks. It’s a bit of a reminder, when you look down and see a peek of chartreuse-fuschia-and-lime green argyle, that you’re a little more creative, a little more curious, a little more interesting than the average Joe.
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*A nerdfighter is any person who belongs to the nerdfighting community, a loose collective of people who promote intelligence, nerdiness, geekiness and the like. The community was founded by the vlogbrothers, of which John Green is one, and, probably, the whole staff here at iheartintelligence.com would fit in well.

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4 Ways a Father Can Raise a Strong Daughter

As Marisol Santiago wrote, “A girl’s first true love is her father.” A father has the power to make his daughter kind, clever, confident, and brave. He sets the example of love she will look back on for the rest of her life. He can build her up, or he can break her down. A truly great father can make his daughter so much stronger than she ever could have been on her own.
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Here’s how to do it:

1. Sweep the floor once in a while.

Do the dishes. Change a diaper. Cook a healthy and delicious meal. Full-time working women in America are still doing way more housework than their husbands are. Unfortunately, this is true even if they work more hours and make more money than their partner. As a result, ambitious women – women like your daughter will someday become – are doing too much. They are stressed, they are exhausted, and they are burning out. It is up to you to change this for your child. Your daughter is forming expectations for her future husband, and she is doing it by watching you. Show her that the man she marries should help with the housework, and that he will be no less masculine for doing so. This will give her the freedom to pursue a career someday without guilt or unrealistic expectations.

2. Be Yourself.

Lead by example, and own your identity with pride. Dare to be different from your friends and family members. Encourage others to do the same. Show her to embrace the person she is. Teach her that you will love and accept her regardless of her personal choices. Simply by being yourself and accepting others who do the same, you are making it safe for her to forge her own path. Go after what you really want in life, and be proud that she is watching you do it. You are showing her how to go after her own dreams someday. You are teaching her to do this even if her ambitions are different from yours. You are also teaching her that people who have different goals and personalities can still love and respect one another.  Everyone is valuable in their individuality. This idea will open her eyes and give her an expansive worldview. This is how you raise a leader.
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3. Treat her mother – and all women – with respect.

This is easy and obvious if you are married to the mother of your children. It becomes much harder if she is a woman from your past who you would rather leave there. Your daughter’s mother may be manipulative, mean spirited, dishonest, insane, or even hateful. None of this changes her role in your child’s life. Your daughter is forming a picture in her mind of how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Like it or not, you and her mother are the people she looks to most for an example. If you treat your child’s mother with contempt and disrespect, you are showing your daughter that this is an acceptable way for a man to treat her someday. This does not only apply to the way you interact with her directly. Saying unkind things behind her back also teaches your daughter not to count on courtesy and respect from the men in her life. Don’t give your ex-wife the treatment you feel she has earned. Give your daughter the role model that she deserves.

4. Tell her she’s beautiful – and, more importantly, that she’s kind, intelligent, and funny.

Many well-meaning fathers shy away from the idea of complimenting their daughters on their physical beauty. They worry that doing so will encourage a focus on looks at the expense of more meaningful pursuits. While this practice is sound in theory, it fails to account for the world that we live in. Unfortunately, your daughter is bombarded by messages about physical beauty every day. She needs to believe she is beautiful, and she needs to know what an appreciation of her beauty should look like. This is in your hands, more than anyone’s. A girl who does not believe she is beautiful may grow desperate for attention and validation. A girl who does not know how her beauty should be appreciated may mistake a catcall for a compliment. Make sure your daughter knows she is beautiful. Make sure she also knows that physical beauty is one of the least important things a woman has to offer. Compliment her internal qualities twice as often as you do her external ones.
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“You always had a way of making us believe we could do anything. Whether it was making the softball team or becoming astronauts or just squeezing by in that math modeling class, you never doubted that any of us were capable of anything we set our hearts to. I could never tell you how much that has meant.” The woman who wrote this to her father was a West Point graduate – a strong woman if there ever was one. Do the same for your own daughter. Give her the support that she needs to be a woman in a world where womanhood itself is such a complicated and challenging thing. You have a unique role in her life, and a special power to shape who she becomes.

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He’s Playing You: 6 Red Flags

We’ve all done it – fallen head over heels for a man who was not ready for a real future. All you want to do is settle down and build a life together. All he wants to do is play video games and go clubbing with his boys. You’re thinking of baby names, and he’s collecting the names and numbers of other women. This situation is unbearably painful, and it can keep you stuck in one spot rather than moving forward with your life.
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So – how do you keep this fool from luring you in? The trick is to spot him early on, giving you the chance to run before you get too invested.

Here are six major red flags:

1. You’re always the one who has to plan the dates.

Maybe he’s lazy. More likely he just doesn’t care about connecting as much as you do. Find a man who is eager and excited to plan a night out with you. He should treasure your company and go out of his way to impress you and make your evening feel special.

2. He prefers the “Netflix & Chill” method to actually going out.

There are many reasons he might be doing this – and none of them are good. He might just be lazy, boring, and uninspired. He may only be interested in you when you’re in his bedroom. Of course, his motives may be even more sinister than that. A man who never wants to go out may just want to avoid being seen out with you by another woman.

3. He is quick to pick a fight.

If he can turn anything into an argument, he is likely after one of two things. He may be looking for control and testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with. More likely, he is already looking for a way out. Make it easy for him by letting go. You don’t need that kind of conflict and negativity in your life.

4. He says he’s not looking for anything serious.

This one seems so obvious, and yet women around the world ignore and misinterpret this phrase every day. I cannot stress this enough – if a man says he is not looking for a relationship, believe him! This might be the only time he is not lying to you.

5. He communicates all day, but can’t find the time to actually see you.

Texts and emails are easy – especially if he is sending them to multiple women. This guy is only looking for the ego boost that comes with your attention. If he truly wanted to get to know you, he would make the time to get together. No matter how busy his schedule, a man who is truly invested will find a way to fit you in.

6. He has never been in a long term relationship.

He takes pride in telling you that he has never, ever fallen in love. Don’t become convinced that you are the one who can change this. You are probably not the first to try, and you won’t be the last, either. It likely just isn’t the kind of lifestyle he is attracted to.

“Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them,” observed Bell Hooks. Don’t fall for a man who is too stuck in his own past to build a life with you. You can’t change him. He needs time on his own to do that. Give him that gift, and give yourself the gift of moving on with your life. It’s what you both need and deserve.

The post He’s Playing You: 6 Red Flags appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

4 Ways Napping Can Boost Brain Power

Napping is for champions. Any tired and overworked adult knows this. Nothing beats the chance to sleep in the daytime. Unfortunately, napping has become unfairly discouraged in our society. Our workaholic culture has dismissed adult napping as a selfish, lazy, and childish activity. Ironically, naps have become taboo due to the very cultural attitudes that make them necessary.
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Thankfully, I am here to share my napping wisdom with you. I am a habitual and enthusiastic napper, and have acquired a wealth of knowledge on the subject through both research and personal experience. Below are four scientifically proven ways that napping can improve your mental capacity and work performance.

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The cognitive benefits of napping are powerful and under-appreciated. Share these with your boss the next time he catches you nodding off at your desk.

1. Napping feeds creativity.

Many, many studies have shown this to be true – and yet, very few workplaces choose to benefit from this information. REM sleep improves our capacity for creative problem solving by allowing our brains to form associative networks. This is especially relevant when it comes to tackling a novel problem. “We found that – for creative problems that you’ve already been working on – the passage of time is enough to find solutions,” explained researcher Sara Mednick.  “However, for new problems, only REM sleep enhances creativity.” To get the most out of your creative power nap, you should take it when faced with a new puzzle. This will help you to process the problem and come up with a solution that is both innovative and unique.
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2. Naps improve our cognitive processing skills.

There are many studies that prove the benefits of napping in preschool children – but what about older adults? A study published by Harvard Women’s Health Watch found that healthy adult participants who chose to nap showed significant improvement on cognitive assessment tests. It did not seem to matter whether the participants napped for long or short periods of time – only that they did so consistently.

3. Naps boost memory capacity.

A study by Saarland University in Germany found that taking a nap increased participants’ memory power by an astounding factor of five. As study leader Alex Mecklinger confirmed, “A short nap at the office or in school is enough to significantly improve learning success. Wherever people are in a learning environment, we should think seriously about the positive effects of sleep.” So, would we as a society be wise to institute a universal nap time, applicable to both school and the workplace? This may not be feasible for all environments, but it is certainly something to consider.

4. Naps revive our level of alertness.

A NASA study found that a short nap has the power to increase our alertness by a shocking one hundred percent. Although the restorative power of napping is a hotly debated topic, it seems that the trick is to limit your nap to under an hour and a half. A very long nap can confuse your body and disrupt your circadian rhythm. It can even lead to grogginess. A short one, however – restricted to a single REM cycle or less – will have an amazing impact on your ability to stay awake and maintain focus.
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“I count it as an absolute certainty that in paradise, everyone naps. A nap is a perfect pleasure and it’s useful, too. It splits the day into two halves, making each half more manageable and enjoyable. How much easier it is to work in the morning if we know we have a nap to look forward to after lunch; and how much more pleasant the late afternoon and evening become after a little sleep. If you know there is a nap to come later in the day, then you can banish forever that terrible sense of doom one feels at 9 A.M.,” wrote Tom Hodgkinson in How to Be Idle. Naps have the power to reshape our day, revive our minds, and even improve our cardiovascular health. I think it is time we started to take advantage of the benefits.

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Science Recognizes Laziness as a Sign of Intelligence

Does the couch call out to you? Do your hobbies include afternoon naps and Netflix marathons? Do you also consider yourself to be a genius? A promising and insightful new study confirms what we lazy people have suspected all along. Lazy individuals are, in fact, more thoughtful and intelligent than our highly active counterparts.
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A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology suggests that individuals who have a high IQ tend to spend less time engaging in physical activity. Researchers from the Florida Gulf Coast University gave a large group of students a test designed to measure their need for cognitive activity. They used this to identify thirty students who expressed a strong desire to engage in deep thought, as well as thirty students who preferred to avoid mentally difficult activities. Then, the researchers gave each test subject a device to wear on their wrist which would measure their level of physical activity over the next week.

The group who described themselves as “thinkers” were determined to be far less active than the “non-thinkers” throughout the week. Oddly, on the weekends, their activity levels grew closer together. Although the researchers were unable to explain this phenomenon, I have a personal theory. It is possible that “non-thinkers” engaged in habitual physical activity as a part of their normal workday, while the “thinkers” did not. On the weekends, the “non-thinkers” might have taken a break from their regular gym routine, while the “thinkers” were more inclined to engage in recreational activities and social outings.
Why Lazy People are More Likely to Succeed in Life

This connection between laziness and intelligence is thought to be a result of the way that a highly intelligent mind functions. Smarter people tend to have an increased capacity for internal stimulation and an inclination to spend more time deep in thought. While highly active people rely on external stimulation in the form of activity, more intelligent people just don’t need to do this. Our minds can maintain an adequate level of stimulation from the comfort of our worn-out armchairs.

This theory is supported by earlier research, which suggested that highly intelligent people were less prone to boredom. They also found boring situations to be less unpleasant, and were more able to easily cope with them through increased internal thought. Could it be then that “non-thinkers” engage in physical activity as a way to escape the dullness of their inner world?

As lead researcher Todd McElroy warned, “Ultimately, an important factor that may help more thoughtful individuals combat their lower average activity levels is awareness. Awareness of their tendency to be less active, coupled with an awareness of the cost associated with inactivity, more thoughtful people may then choose to become more active throughout the day.”

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Stay Up Late? Messy? Swear A Lot? You Could Be a Hidden Genius

Some of those “bad habits” of yours, like being messy, staying up late, and swearing, are actually indicators of high intelligence.

If you were like me, you grew up with some basic rules to follow and keep with you all the way into adulthood. “Don’t stay up too late.” “Keep your room clean.” Don’t swear so much.”  (My parents actually told me not to swear at all, but some situations call for an F-bomb. Have you seen A Christmas Story?)
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Well, as it turns out, all those lessons and rules that were instilled in us long ago can be tossed right out the window. Okay, not all of them, maybe just the three aforementioned ones for now.

New studies have good news for those of us who stay up late, have messy rooms, and swear. According to researchers, we exhibit higher levels of intelligence.

Psychology Today reports findings that our species, human, is the only one that can “override their internal biological clock and its rhythmic outputs.” On top of that, we do this whether we are conscious of the decision or not.
Study Shows People Who Use Swear Words Have Bigger And Better Vocabularies

Every animal species on earth has a circadian rhythm, including humans. ( A circadian rhythm is a 24 hour cycle in which mental and behavioural changes occur based on light and darkness.) The difference is that we can choose when we go to sleep and when we wake up; we can decide to be night owls or morning people.

Psychology Today elaborates by saying, “More intelligent children grow up to be more nocturnal as adults than less intelligent children.”

“Compared to their less intelligent counterparts, more intelligent individuals go to bed later on weeknights (when they have to get up at a certain time the next day) and on weekends (when they don’t), and they wake up later on weekdays (but not on weekends, for which the positive effect of childhood intelligence on adult nocturnality is not statistically significant).”

So, if you like staying up late, it might be because you have high intelligence.

What about swearing? A recent study published in the journal Science Direct  proves that swearing isn’t a sign of someone with a limited vocabulary, and it doesn’t mean “you can’t think of anything better to say.”
Why The Seemingly Messy Ones May Be More Intelligent

The two authors of the study, Kristin Jay and Timothy Jay, gathered participants aged 18-22 and tested their vocabulary. Their first task was to “name as many taboo words as they could within a time limit beginning with a certain letter.”  They were asked to do the same thing with animals, and again with “any general word.” Sounds easy, right? It was- for the participants who excelled at listing taboo words. This study found that those who have a vaster comprehension of swear words, also have a “more expansive vocabulary and a better grasp on language.”

Stephen Fry, conceptually a spokesperson for intelligent conversation, says this on swearing and intelligence:

“The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or a lack of verbal interest is just a fucking lunatic.”

As for the messy ones, you can thank Kathleen Vohs for her recent study which allows you to confidently leave your room in a state of emergency. Vohs, a psychological scientist at the University of Minnesota, discovered that those who prefer to have a messy room and office are more creative and imaginative than their orderly counterparts.

“Being in a messy room led to something that firms, industries, and societies want more of: Creativity,” said Vohs. “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights.”

The bottom line, whether you are messy, a night owl, or someone who curses like a sailor, you’re doing things in an unconventional way. And sometimes, going against the grain is a sign of intelligence.
Why Lazy People are More Likely to Succeed in Life

Like Einstein once said, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?” So, with that in mind, leave your clothes on the bed, catch up on the late-night documentary, and swear whenever necessary.

By Raven Fon

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Why Good Men Cheat (And How To Help Them Stay Faithful)

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who sincerely wished to fully devote himself to his woman, but was struggling with the challenge of doing so in a world ripe with so much opportunity for connection. This guy was not a bad person, indeed he is one of the kindest people I know, but his ongoing struggle was real and had been a pattern in his relationships for many years.
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Devoted long term monogamous relationships are quite simply the accepted as the norm in this western society, it’s what creates families and order and keeps them together, it’s something that is aspired to and takes hard work to maintain. However it’s not an easy ask for many people.

Some of you may be wondering how a “devoted” man would struggle with such a thing? Well it is possible, and believe it or not devotion and temptation are not mutually exclusive things.

Indeed there are so many good men out there who truly wish to go deeper with the women they have committed to, but find their efforts consistently thwarted by the incredible power of desire and animal attraction.

In this situation I don’t define cheating as just the physical act of sex with someone other than the partner a man has committed to. I define it as any thought, feeling, or behavior that is contradictory to a man’s devotion to his partner, all of this can be defined as a form of emotional betrayal.

Surely there is no harm in looking as long as you don’t physically get involved right?

In reality there is nothing wrong with fantasising, as such, everyone does it occasionally, but if it is an ongoing issue it is something that will forever keep good men away from the experience they most desire…which is real love and intimacy in a wholesome relationship with the women they are truly in love with.
Women Who Are Cheated On Could End Up Better Off In The Long Run

Unlike most women very few men experience their sexuality flowing through their hearts, and this is precisely why even some of the most loving men cheat on their women. I think a lot of this can be blamed on societal upbringing, conditioning and expectations rather than a man’s inherent capability to connect with their hearts, they simply don’t know how to.

Quite simply the overwhelming power of their sexual desire causes them to lust after this woman or that woman, and no matter how hard they try to control this powerful urge, they fail. So until a man’s sexuality is brought into alignment with his heart, he will prefer the excitement of “new” women and “juicy” connections over the woman he loves, when it comes to fulfilling his sexual desire.

Many of the men never actually sleep with a woman other than the one they are committed to, but still avidly, and secretly, check other women out from time to time. They may engage in innocent “connections” with other women, getting high on the “love” between them, and denying any wrongdoing if it was ever brought up. These women are just “friends,” after all.

For many men (and some women) choosing one partner, fully, day in and day out, is no joke. But regardless of how devoted he is to his partner, if he is still fantasising about other women then he has got some deep inner work to do to create union within himself. Through this wholesome devoted relationship he can reconfigure his sexuality so that it is moving though his heart and not wasting his creative energy by lusting after other women.

Women have a major role in doing something to help and support their men in this process. Rather than judging him, punishing him, berating him, or making him feel guilty for being drawn to other women, create a safe space for him to share when he’s feeling drawn, and to explore why it’s happening and listen to him with open ears and an open heart.

A man can’t make it through this incredible challenge without his woman’s support, in fact it’s only through the women that they can really start to overcome this and learn about union through the heart. A woman who is constantly scolding her man for being drawn to other women is shooting herself in the foot and will inevitably drive him away.
Why Relationship Drama Is So Addictive (And How To Manage It)

The next time the man is tempted to betray his devoted relationship, with this form of open communication they can choose to lean a bit further into their female partners instead for support. Yes, it will be difficult, but since when has devotion to anything been easy? With every devotional choice we make, men will want to move closer to their women, to themselves, and to the lives we all really want.

I know it’s not going to be easy for the women folk, and it’s not pleasant to read any of this, but now that it’s out in the open, women can choose to celebrate their men for their admirable commitments and progress in the face of enormous challenge, rather than holding them up to an unreal standard.

Men and women are in this together, and if we are to shift this dynamic into something more pure and more loving moving forward, it’s going to require that both sides show up fully. It’s going to require that both sides make peace with the beast, so that they can work together toward something better.

All we need do is look this monster square in the eye, together, and we can make our way into something new, together. A place where we can all finally enjoy the intimacy we most long for, made possible through our wholehearted devotion to the ones we love most.

Do you or your partner experience extra relationship crushes? How does it affect you? Share your stories with us below…

The post Why Good Men Cheat (And How To Help Them Stay Faithful) appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Three-Parent IVF: Breakthrough or Blasphemy?

A year ago in the UK, it become legal to undertake three-parent IVF, which combines the DNA from three adults in order to prevent certain genetic problems in the resulting child. This practice has yet to be legalized in the United States, due to concerns that it might lead to widespread genetic engineering, or “designer babies”. However, this technology has the power to prevent children from being born with mitochondrial diseases – which are not only completely debilitating, but are also currently incurable.
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The benefits of approving three-parent IVF are clear.

“There are currently no means to treat devastating mitochondrial diseases, which can cause muscle wastage, loss of vision, stroke-like episodes and a premature death,” says Robert Meadowcroft, chief executive of the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign. “Preventing inheritance, where possible, remains our only option, and that is why we have invested in and wholly support this pioneering technique.”

However, some worry that the legalization of this well-meaning technology will pave the way for less humanitarian uses of three-person IVF – namely, the creation of “designer babies“. The idea of parents being able to select the genetic traits that they pass on to their children is an intriguing one. It is also a very hotly debated topic in the field of bioethics.

Due to the emotional and controversial nature of this issue, Hollywood has weighed in as well. Movies like Gattaca, My Sister’s Keeper, and the Divergent series explore important questions regarding genetic engineering. What if gene selection, available only to the rich, creates an unfair class divide that effectively ruins our society? What if parents engineer their child to benefit themselves or a sibling, at great cost to the child’s own wellbeing? What if we make a mistake, and the genetically altered offspring lose vital traits – the very things that make us human? By doing this, would we be playing God? Would this be a good thing – or are people the way they are for a reason?

Ultimately, the debate lies in where we draw the line. Using three-parent IVF to prevent debilitating and incurable diseases seems like a no-brainer. Each parent should have the right to produce a healthy child, after all. What constitutes “healthy”, though? If parents can opt to avoid muscular dystrophy in their offspring, should they also be allowed to prevent autism? Depression? A low IQ? An average IQ? An inclination toward obesity? A large, unattractive nose? Unmanageable hair? Mediocrity in general? At what point do we cross the line from preventing a disability to getting rid of the very things that make us who we are?

As is evident from this article, there are more questions than answers when it comes to the bioethics surrounding genetic engineering. You may have an idea of where you think society ought to draw the line – but would a mother who has lost seven children to mitochondrial disease agree with you? Would a woman who has been teased her whole life for her ugly nose? Would your priest? As the technology involved in genetic engineering advances, this debate is sure to heat up as well. Where do you stand?

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5 Ways to Stay Connected To Your Partner

5 Ways to Be an Introvert in an Extroverted Society

Introverted people are special, unique, and deeply valuable. Unfortunately, in a world that demands extroversion, many introverts fail to recognize their own worth. They often push themselves to be more social than they are comfortable with and apologize for their true nature. This is not only detrimental to an introvert’s self-image, but can leave them feeling depleted and confused about who they are. Introversion needs to be embraced and celebrated, rather than discouraged.
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Here are five ways to nurture your inner introvert:

1. Learn to say no.

An introvert’s energy is drained with every social encounter, while an extrovert’s is strengthened. Don’t disregard your own needs for the sake of others. Set limits for your time, and respect them. Practice a phrase like “Oh, I would love to go to that concert, but I already have such a busy weekend planned. Maybe we can make it work another time.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with declining an invitation. There is something wrong with accepting one knowing it will leave you feeling empty and stressed out.
7 Ways to Make Your Introvert Feel Loved

2. Protect your downtime.

For an introvert, the need for downtime is not negotiable. End each day with a session of peace and quiet. Allow yourself to recharge your internal batteries without any sort of a guilt trip. Most humans need solitude in order to process their deepest and most complex thoughts. Doing this is not a waste of time. It is a completely necessary form of self-care. You wouldn’t stop eating, showering, or brushing your teeth due to social pressure, would you? Try to give your need for downtime the same respect.

3. Cultivate solo interests.

Ideally, you could find a job in which social contact is limited and mental stimulation is prioritized. This is the kind of environment in which an introverted nature will thrive. However, for many this is simply not an option. Instead, take up a hobby that you can do all by yourself. Long distance running, painting, writing, swimming, and fishing are all stellar options. Devote time to this activity, and revel in the peace and solitude that you find there. This will feed your inner introvert and restore your energy in the same way that a crowded dance floor would deplete it.
10 Things To Understand When Loving An Introvert

4. Learn to leave gracefully.

Before going to a social event, plan a good excuse to leave early. You may not need to use it, but simply having the option available will make you feel much more at ease. If you do end up wanting to bow out, you will be prepared to do so with grace. The simple and boring excuses are usually the best – an early morning appointment, a babysitter with a curfew, or a backlog of work waiting at home. Chances are, nobody will even remember why you had to head home early. They’ll just be glad you came.

5. Accept your authentic self.

There is no need to apologize for being an introvert. Because extroversion is overvalued in our society, introverts are often made to feel like they are doing something wrong simply by being who they are. Embrace your need for solitude, and the thousands of strengths and advantages that come along with it. Introverts are absolutely crucial to the maintenance and advancement of our society. Can you imagine a world run completely by extroverts? It would be noisy and miserable, and society would soon devolve into absolute chaos.

“Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again,” observed Anaïs Nin. Don’t lose your center to fit in with an extroverted world. Embrace yourself, and allow your introverted soul to thrive. The world needs more introverts.

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