How Eco-Friendly Store Brands Benefit Everyone

Many of us like to save money by purchasing store-brand facsimiles of our favorite foods, as well as other products. In fact, these private-label brands make up seventeen percent of total sales in the United States, and their sales grow at about thirteen percent annually. A new study suggests that there may be a way to push this growth even further, while also satisfying the consumer community’s growing taste for ethically manufactured products.
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A  Concordia University study shows that profits for these store brands can increase if companies market their products as ethically sourced. However, this only works if they couple this approach with higher prices. Although increasing prices in order to boost sales may seem counter-intuitive, the reason this works has to do with consumer savvy. Most Americans are aware that ethically made products are more expensive to source. Therefore, they will be skeptical of ethically marketed products with lower prices than their standard counterparts.

Concordia marketing professor Onur Bodur explains that a higher price point signals a standard or premium quality tier positioning. This is validated by the ethical attribute being marketed. As a result, the benefits of ethical marketing do not apply to products that consumers buy solely for their low prices. In fact, according to this study, when ethical attributes are eliminated from economy store brands their perceived value actually increases. This implies that consumers are willing to believe that their products are cheap or ethical – but not both.

These findings suggest that it may be smart for retailers to pursue a two-tier store brand strategy. This involves marketing both economy store brands and premium ones, but doing so separately. The study further claims that premium store brands may be more competitive with name brands than their lower priced counterparts. Although they cost more to produce, these products are able to yield higher profit margins and attract a different set of customers. This makes them a wise and lucrative choice for many stores. Meanwhile, the standard store brand items will continue to have a loyal following of bargain seekers.

“Companies see increased profits, consumers get improved products, and the environment experiences better protection,” says Bianca Grohmann, Concordia Research Chair in Marketing and study co-author. “This is a win-win-win situation.”

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These 8 Expectations Are Damaging Your Relationship

Having expectations of others is the surest way to cause yourself unnecessary aggravation and stress. Not to mention the frustration you cause them to feel when they fail to meet your standards.
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Some things are natural to expect. For example, expecting your partner to respect you, or to be honest with you. Adding anything more to that list, however, will only cause disappointment.

You can not assume everyone else is at the same place on their journey as you are on yours. How you react to certain situations will not be how someone else chooses to react. We are all unique and we each have a different path to follow.

If you want to have healthier and happier relationships in your life, stop having these 8 expectations:

1. Expectations of “right”

What people determine to be right or wrong is based on many different factors. Spirituality, religion, culture, where they grew up, etc. all have an affect on someone’s morals and ethics. No one grew up with exactly the same experience as you did, and no one is living your life but you. Stop expecting others to see your view of the world as the only correct one.

People eat meat, others choose veggies only. Is one more right than the other? Of course not. Right and wrong are personally defined, and shoving your version of “right” in someone’s face will only cause strife in your relationship.
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2. Expectations of perfection

Perfectionism is a dangerous and harmful idea in any relationship. People are flawed, imperfect beings. It is that imperfection which should be celebrated, not discouraged. We all make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes differently.

Expecting someone to always be perfect puts an enormous strain on the relationship. When they fail, they will feel like they let themselves down and you as well. Instead of giving someone a hard time when they slip up, give them a helping hand and encourage their growth. We’re only human, after all.

3. Expecting agreement

No one wants a “yes” friend. Even worse would be a “yes” partner. Someone who always agrees with you isn’t in a relationship with you- that sounds more like ownership to me.

We each have unique perspectives and views within us, and these differences are what make us individuals. The world would be a very boring place if we all thought exactly the same way. Don’t get upset if someone disagrees with you from time to time. Instead, be grateful for the little things that make us who we are.

4. Expectations of “just knowing” what you mean

You might be a very intuitive person, but that doesn’t mean everyone else has that gift. Communication is important for any relationship to be healthy and happy. So you have to tell someone how you are feeling and stop having unrealistic expectations of them. It doesn’t matter how many hints you drop, or signs you consider to be “dead giveaways,” you need to use your words.
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5. Expecting them to fight your battles

Your loved ones will always show support and try to help you through the difficult times. However, if you constantly delegate your problems to someone else and expect them to take care of things for you, you are going to be disappointed.

Everyone is going through something, even if you can’t see that for yourself. There may be times where they simply can’t take on your struggles because of the ones they are dealing with themselves. That doesn’t mean they love you any less, it just means you need to strap up your boots and do your own walking for a change.

6. Expectations of understanding

When you stop caring what others think of you, your life gets a lot easier. As long as you understand yourself, you won’t seek understanding from others. Expecting someone to “get you” is a waste of energy. You be you, they will be them, and the rest doesn’t matter.

7. Expecting people to follow the golden rule

In a better world, we would all treat others as we would like to be treated. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who have damaged relationships with themselves, so they lash out at others and cause pain. Keep in mind, you are only responsible for yourself. Expecting others to show you kindness because you showed it to them first, is unrealistic. The key here is to just do it- just be kind and don’t expect anything in return.

8. Expectations of immediate transformation

Some people have an epiphany and seem to change into a brighter version of themselves, almost overnight. But, for most people, growth and transformation take time. If someone says they are working on this or that, give them time to learn, grow, and flourish. No one thrives under scrutiny, and expecting someone to magically transform into what you think they should be will cause a lot of damage in your relationship. Allow people to be who they are, and where they are, and let them go their own speed down their path.

Like I said, we are all different- and I think that is definitely a positive thing. Can you imagine how robotic and maddening life would be if we all acted, thought, dressed, and believed the same exact things? There would be very little, if any, growth at all for our society or for our development as human beings. Cherish the things that make you, you. Appreciate the things that make them, them. Above all, remove expectations from your life and just live it.

By Raven Fon

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10 Healthy Foods to Eat on a Budget

Most Americans want to eat a healthy diet, but all too often we fall short. We tend to reach for options that are tasty, convenient, and – given the state of our economy – inexpensive. These criteria lead us to consume foods that are loaded with salt, sugar, and fat, and miss out on the vital nutrients that we so desperately need. Next time you are at the grocery store, reach for one (or all) of these ten items. Your wallet and your waistline are sure to thank you.
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Eggs

Oh, the incredible, edible egg! An egg contains all nine essential amino acids and is full of iron, phosphorous, choline, and selenium, as well as vitamins A, B12, B2, and B5. Eggs are also rich in antioxidants and omega-3 fatty acids, and very high in protein. Although many people eat only the egg whites in order to minimize calories and cholesterol, most of the nutrients are contained in the yolk – so feel free to enjoy the whole thing without guilt!
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Lentils

Lentil soup, consisting of lentils, broth, and whatever vegetables we have on hand, is a big favorite around my house. Dry lentils are miraculously inexpensive, and can be made with very little effort in a slow-cooker. This legume is a healthy choice because it is absolutely packed with iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, folate and manganese. Lentils are also very high in fiber and protein, making them a filling option to replace meat in a vegetarian meal.

Bananas

Bananas are famous for being an outstanding source of potassium. However, they are also rich in vitamin A, vitamin C, and vitamin E. Because of their sweetness, they are one of the most nutritious ways possible to satisfy a sugar craving. Although bananas have a relatively short shelf life, they can be enjoyed frozen by blending them into a healthier version of ice cream, or baked into banana bread once they’ve turned brown.

Almonds

Almonds are a good source of fiber, protein, vitamin E, manganese, and magnesium, as well as antioxidants. They help to regulate blood sugar levels, and can also aid in weight loss because of their highly satiating fiber and protein content. I like to keep a small container of these handy for a snack, tossed with cocoa powder, sea salt, or cayenne.
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Cabbage

Cabbage is a tremendous source of vitamin K, vitamin B6, vitamin C, potassium, manganese, and fiber. It is also extremely inexpensive. Cabbage may not be the most popular food in America, but I personally believe that it is highly underrated. We like to eat cabbage as a base for soup, mixed into stir-fries, and cooked with meat to be eaten with crusty bread.

Oats

Most people leave their oat intake at the breakfast table, but I prefer to sneak them in throughout the day. I like to mix them with a mashed banana and peanut butter and bake them into cookies for my toddler, and I also use them as a substitute for bread crumbs in recipes such as meat loaf. Oats contain protein, folate, iron, magnesium, potassium, and zinc, as well as an absolutely massive dose of manganese. They are also very high in fiber, which keeps you full, helps to regulate blood sugar, and may even reduce cholesterol.

Peanut Butter

For one of the cheapest foods available, peanut butter packs quite a nutritional punch. It is absolutely loaded with protein and potassium, and also contains fiber, vitamin B6, vitamin E, zinc, and magnesium. Although its fat content is fairly high, peanut butter contains more unsaturated fat than saturated fat, making it a “healthy fat” source, like olive oil and avocado. It will boost your energy and keep you full for a significant stretch of time.
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Ground Beef

Beef is not only a solid source of protein, but also contains iron, zinc, and vitamin B12. The recipe possibilities are virtually endless, and usually approved of by children and adults alike. I like to cook it with marinara sauce to put over spaghetti for a super quick and simple weeknight meal.

Sweet Potatoes

Sweet potatoes contain vitamin C, vitamin A, vitamin B6, and potassium. They are also a powerful source of antioxidants and, like almonds, can help to regulate our blood sugar. Sweet potatoes can be enjoyed in a wide variety of ways, from savory sweet potato fries to saccharine maple-sweet potato mash.

Canned Tuna

Canned tuna is very high in protein, and also happens to be a great source of vitamins B6 and B12, magnesium, potassium, selenium, and anti-inflammatory omega 3 fatty acids. Its portability makes it a great option to include in a packed lunch – you can mix it into a salad, put it on a sandwich, or eat it straight from the can! There are a million tuna salad recipes out there, but I’m a simple girl – I like to mix mine with olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper.

A healthy diet doesn’t have to be a luxury. Mix these ten foods with other budget staples, like frozen veggies and whole-grain pasta, and you will feel your body grow stronger and your wallet grow fatter. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.”

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15 Reasons Why Being Single Is Not Bad At All

I don’t think I’m the only person in the world who suffers from the “grass-is-always-greener” syndrome, that infuriating notion that if I had what that person has then I will be happy.
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Especially in regards to relationships. Having been happily single for the past year, I decided recently that I’d remain single indefinitely, with no plans to pursue a relationship with anyone other than myself. For me this means no dating sites or apps, no blind-date setups by friends or relatives, loving or otherwise, no pursuit. If I’m going to get involved with another human being, by golly, they’ll have to come hit me over the head to get me to notice them. Most of the time this works out great: I have incredibly fulfilling work, I give back to the communities within which I am involved, I have a lovely home and a sweet cat and a summer garden coming in. Generally speaking, my life is the picture of contentment. I want what I have.

And then I see them. The hands-holders, the exchangers of smoky gazes, the secret-smilers, the Eskimo-kissers. I see them on the bus and the bike trail and at restaurants and then suddenly it’s like they’re everywhere and what is wrong with me? Why don’t I have that?

It usually doesn’t take too much to get me back to remembering, “because you chose this” and returning to my contented state, but when I start getting all up in my head about this stuff and it starts threatening my serenity, I go straight to the list. The list of why being single is awesome. Not why it’s okay, not why it’s all-right-for-now, but why being single is really and truly awesome.

1. I can flirt all I want.

I work in a bike shop: cue the near-constant entrance of hot, toned guys. I get plenty of opportunity to practice flirting and no guilt whatsoever.

2. Going out has endless possibilities.

The only thing I have to commit to when I go out is having a great time, and I always do.

3. The only person I have to check in with is my mother.

And surprisingly, my mother and I have had a much better relationship over the past year than we ever have had before. She’s become a greater friend and better confidant, and I love having her in my corner. Being single gives me the opportunity to enjoy checking in with my mother, something I never anticipated or thought I would like so much.

4. It’s. My. Bed.

Roo, my aging Greek cat who has slept with me for the past 15 years, still takes up a ridiculous amount of space for a ten-pound furball, but that’s just what cats do. I haven’t had a middle-of-the-night struggle for my sheets or duvet for a long time, and I don’t miss it one bit.
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5. I have stronger friendships, not relationship drama.

I don’t have to worry about his anything, and I rely on my friends to be sounding boards, advisory committees, emergency editors, and freak-out mitigators. As a result, my friendships are closer and stronger than ever, and I don’t invest too much time or energy in anyone else’s head space.

6. I don’t wonder if I am with the right person.

If you’re anything like me, every person you’ve ever dated has become a question of your own identity. This is nigh impossible when you’re with yourself. And if you still feel like you’re with the wrong person, there are a boatload of resources out there to help you. I luxuriate in knowing that if all else fails I am most definitely with the right person.

7. I don’t do stuff I don’t want to do.

Life is short, folks, and there are a LOT of things I want to do: complete the Colorado Northeast Ridge Route of Kingfisher Tower with my climbing partner, build a new roadbike on the 1981 celeste Bianchi frame that was donated to my shop last month, see the new X-Men movie, ride at least 100 miles per week this summer…the list just goes on, and it gets longer all the time. And it’s all mine. Every choice I make, every decision, every action, every time, is mine and mine alone. So far, it seems to be a pretty good way to live.

8. I know I haven’t settled.

What’s worse than being alone? Being with someone only because you don’t want to be alone.

9. I have time to work on myself.

And energy. And motivation. And no other distractions. Being single gives me the time to pursue my dreams.

10. I can be completely selfish, for absolutely the best reasons.

It’s a well-known truism that you cannot really love another person unless you love yourself. Being single gives me a lot of opportunity to get to know myself, what I have to offer, who I am, what I have to give. Being entirely and truly myself means that I am always, only going to offer the best me: to my friends, to my colleagues, to my customers, to my community.

11. I can be curious.

I get to take the time and commit the energy to figure things out, whether it’s my next climbing trip or my surprise attraction to someone. The thing is: my curiosity isn’t going to potentially hurt anyone else. So I get to indulge in it.

12. I can travel.

Traveling is better when you’re single, whether you’re traveling alone or not. I don’t have to worry about my boyfriend being offended that I didn’t invite him, or asking what I’m doing every step of the trip. And since I climb and ride with both men and women, this is especially important to me. The only creature who got their heart broken on my last climbing trip was my cat, and I’m pleased to report she’s well-recovered.

13. I save money.

And when I do spend it on other people, it’s people I really love for reasons I really want to spend it. I take my mom to the movies. I take my friends to lunch. I buy half the gas for a road trip to go rock climbing, and pick up half the camping fees. No regrets. Ever.

14. Life is more adventurous.

I’m bound by my own imagination, my creativity, my passions, my desires, which basically means, I have no boundaries. I can do anything I want to do.

15. I still have the excitement of finding the one. (Or not.)

Sociocultural norms tell me that I should find someone, settle down, get married, raise a family. But 73% of people in one survey said their current partner isn’t their true love. According to one site responsible for various relationship metrics, the odds are sorely stacked against me: 285,000 to 1 that I will “find the one”. And besides, why waste time searching for someone when I could be bettering myself: in effect, making myself someone else’s “one”?

Regardless of how this whole relationship thing works itself out in my life, I sleep well every night. (Alone. Well, with a cuddly feline usually curled against my lower back.) I greet every day with unmitigated enthusiasm. I work hard to be helpful in my community, at my job, to my friends and family, my colleagues, my employers, my world. Maybe I’ll be someone else’s one someday, but if not, that will be okay too. Somehow, all alone,by myself, on my own, I am enough.

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5 Ways to Deal With Verbal Abuse at Work

Verbal abuse in the workplace is bullying.  And while we won’t hesitate to intervene if we witness a child being bullied, the workplace is a different landscape, isn’t it?  An astounding  72 percent of the adult  Americans are familiar with workplace bullying.  Most of the offenders are men, most of the targets women, and less than 20% of employers will address it.  So, here are proven methods to shift that norm, one person at a time, starting with each of us.
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Pay Attention

Learn to recognize demeaning, disrespectful  language and behavior.  Sarcasm, from two Greek words that translate to “tear flesh”, is  a common means of snide communication. Insults aimed at your attire or looks, scolding or berating with or without the presence of colleagues, constitutes verbal abuse. These assaults are often echoed in hostile, aggressive hand gestures and body language.  Deceit, shame,  guilt,  or being pitted against another employee may form a backdrop to verbal abuse.  

Find Your Voice

If you don’t have your own back, who will?  Time to speak up for yourself.  If the thought of this makes you cringe,  first write a script that feels natural where you say,  “I deserve to treated with respect.”  Role play with a coworker, or, in your mirror.  Rehearse this essential confrontation so when the time occurs, you’re ready to define your boundary.  Make “I” statements. Using “You” puts your offender on the defensive. Remember, the game ends when one person quits. However unpopular or uncomfortable it is to stand in your truth, there’s no wrong time for it.

Document, Document, Document

Though most of us carry devices capable of recording,  do keep a written timeline of who, what was said, when, and where.  Sometimes this practice helps us awaken.  More  useful, this evidence will illuminate what may be invisible to other management or human resource colleagues.  

Enlist Support

Trusted and clear Coworker support  is sunlight after the storm.  Since verbal abuse doesn’t occur in a vacuum, you’re likely not the first or only target.  Discover when it happened prior, and how, if at all, it was resolved. Recruit support for any confrontation you intend. Beware the spiral into gossip born of resentment. Though tempting,  gossip is divisive, and worse, you might  resemble your bully by mimic. Really.   

Expand Your View

When you understand that a man with a hammer will always find a nail,  you realize we all experience the world from our internal projections.  This allows you to enjoy a buffer of space and curiosity around encounters, especially hostile ones.   And curiosity opens the door to compassion and understanding, the knowledge that  things happen for us, not to us.  Practice curiosity as you grow brave and stand your ground. Resist the urge to judge, especially yourself.

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Science Proves That Cats Are Good For Your Health

Do you have a cat? Is the recent Internet craze around cats and toxo freaking you out, too? It got me spooked for a minute. Then I remembered there are all kinds of reasons why I do own -and adore- my little feline fluffball and, as it turns out, there are a lot of great reasons why being a cat owner is good for my health.
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Despite all of the recent concern around toxoplasmosis (check out this article for more information about why you needn’t worry), owning a cat confers major health benefits. Just how major, you might ask? Cat ownership can help your cardiovascular system, reduce your risk of stroke, boost your immune system, reduce allergy and respiratory problems, lower blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides, and heal bones and muscles. This is all in addition to the feel-good benefits of cat ownership: reducing stress, depression and anxiety, easing loneliness, improving your mood and the like. Check out the science:

Improve your cardiovascular system.

A 10-year long study involving 4,000 Americans by the University of Minnesota revealed that cat owners had a 30% decreased risk of death by heart attack compared to non cat owners. Even the lead researcher conducting the study, Dr. Adnan Qureshi, himself an owner of a cat named Ninja, was surprised by the size of the reduction in risk.
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Reduce your risk of stroke.

The same study also showed that owning a cat reduced the risk of having a stroke by one-third. Even when researchers took account of other factors known to trigger heart disease, including high cholesterol levels, smoking and diabetes, cat owners still cut their risks by one-third.

Increase your immunity.

Cat owners boost their immunity by bringing pleasure into our lives, which does more than simply reduce stress and anxiety -though those are also wonderful side effects. An increase in pleasure also improves immune function by producing an antibacterial peptide, enhances the killer instincts and abilities of various immune components, including B cells, T cells, NK cells, and immunoglobulins, and enables certain immune cells to secrete their own endorphins as a way of improving their disease-fighting capacity.

Reduce allergy and respiratory problems.

How many times have you offered your feline furball to a friend only to have them back away, protesting “I’m allergic!” It’s likely that they didn’t grow up around pets. Studies have shown that children raised around pets and/or livestock are more likely to develop immunity to pet allergies…and the earlier the exposure, the better. Even later in life, regular exposure to pet allergens can reduce sensitivity to them.

Lower your blood pressure.

Your blood pressure can be easily lowered by taking part in calming activities. Petting or stroking a purring cat is one of those activities that is inherently calming, often to both you and the animal.

Lower cholesterol and triglycerides.

The American Heart Association attests to the fact that cat ownership helps to lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels.
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Heal bones and muscles.

This one was particularly interesting to me. Cats purr at frequencies between 25 and 140 Hz, which are the same frequencies that are therapeutic for bone growth and fracture healing, inflammation and pain reduction, swelling reduction, wound healing, muscle growth and repair, tendon repair, and mobility of joints. According to a study conducted by Fauna Communications, feline purring could actually improve human healing functions in this regard.

Given all of the various ways science has proven that cat ownership is good for you, don’t you think it’s time you go get yourself a little bundle of purring fluff and jump on the road to greater well-being? You can start your search right here.

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4 Things That Make You Appear Less Intelligent

Most of us put a considerable amount of time and effort into looking intelligent. Sometimes we try harder than we’d like to admit. This is why it’s so important not to undersell your intellect by making one of the silly blunders listed below. None of these mistakes mean that the person making them is stupid – but unfortunately, they can make us appear so if we are not careful.
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Here are four things to avoid doing when trying to appear intelligent:

Talking Too Much

When we want to show off how smart we are, there can be a million things that we’d like to say at once. Think of an overly chatty person though – do they seem intelligent when their mouths are flapping on at a mile a minute? Not only will you bore the person with whom you are conversing, but you will appear to be self-absorbed and careless. Robert Greene considers silence to be a dominant position, and recommends saying less than necessary when you would like to appear powerful. Furthermore, the more you speak, the more likely you are to say the wrong thing. Choose your words carefully, and pick only your strongest opinions and most interesting anecdotes to share. You will be less likely to flail this way, and much more likely to impress.

Dressing Inappropriately

Nobody, least of all a woman like myself, appreciates being told how to dress herself. However, your clothing and your grooming habits are the first message you send to people about who you are. Dress how you like, but make sure that the message you are sending is consistent with how you want to be seen in a given situation. A fringed mini dress may look stunning on your runner’s body, but wearing it to a board meeting will likely make you appear less serious than you would like. Save it for brunch with your college friends who love and appreciate your fun side! Be yourself – you should never feel as though you are wearing a costume. Just make sure you are doing so in a way that is appropriate for your environment. You may opt for a black pencil skirt for that board meeting instead, but don’t be afraid to add a funky statement necklace, a bright silk top, and killer shoes!
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Seeming Uninterested

Everyone has a strong need to be heard – and nowhere is it more important for you to satisfy this need than in the workplace. Appearing disinterested can be the unintentional result of texting, being unresponsive in conversation, or simply staring off into space – and doing so can absolutely kill your career. Displaying a lack of interest, especially in the office, makes a person look lazy and juvenile. It also signals a lack of ambition and makes you less likeable – both of which can keep you from getting promoted to a higher position. Becoming a good listener is one of the most powerful things you can do for your career and your personal life. It also makes you appear thoughtful, intelligent, and mature.

Being Judgemental

It is often tempting to try to build ourselves up in another person’s eyes by bringing someone else down. When we disparage another person’s intellect or character, we think we will look smarter by comparison. However, this tactic actually has the opposite effect. Passing judgement on others makes you appear not only gossipy and unsympathetic, but unintelligent, as well. By judging someone else, you are showing that you lack the compassion and intellect needed to understand the circumstances that have led them to where they are. Also, you may be missing some facts, which will make you look ignorant as well. When you focus on another person’s flaws, you are actually putting your own on display and showing yourself in the most unflattering light.

The simplest way to show off your intelligence is to talk about a topic in which you have a genuine interest, and let your passion speak for itself. However, don’t forget to give the other person their space in a conversation. Listening is one of the most powerful and underrated ways to make a connection. Most of us look our most intelligent when we are saying nothing at all!

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Why Lazy People are More Likely to Succeed in Life

We all know that hard work is one of the most important ingredients for success – so why do so many lazy people seem to float effortlessly to the top? It’s not just dumb luck. Laziness, although far from being a virtue, can actually have some unexpected benefits when it comes to efficiency, creativity, and innovation. Here are five ways that being lazy can help you to get ahead:
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Sloth Forces Creativity

This picture went viral because of its sheer brilliance and simplicity. It shows a dad sitting in a lawn chair and enjoying a beer while pulling his daughter on a swing with a long string tied to his finger. Is the dad who thought of this clever parenting hack a genius? I don’t know – but I do know that he is definitely a lazy guy. Had he not been so determined to put his feet up and sip a cool beverage, he would never have had the epiphany that led him to this solid parenting decision. I’m inclined to think this penchant for creative problem-solving serves him just as well in the office as it does in his backyard.
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Lazy People Know When to Rest

Most of us are overworked and burnt out. Lazy people, however, deal with this to a lesser degree. They are more likely to take breaks at work, which not only boosts their morale and health, but can make them a better employee in the long run. They come back refreshed, recharged, and ready to look for more shortcuts. This is a habit we could all benefit from.

Sloths Use Technology

The lazier a person is, the more adept they likely are at using technology. Would a lazy person spend all day sorting, organizing, and analyzing a set of data, or would they spend a half-hour creating a macro that will do it for them? Technology can help us to get repetitive, tedious tasks done much faster, and it can minimize errors without us having to go back and check our work. Nobody knows this better than a lazy person!

Lazy People have an Eye for Efficiency

Efficiency is all about getting great results while expending as little effort as possible – and who knows more about avoiding effort than a lazy person? Arvind Krishnan quotes billionaire Bill Gates as saying “’I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do it’.” The lazier the individual, the more practiced he likely is at finding shortcuts and identifying steps that can be skipped over. This is not always a bad thing. In fact, it translates into a natural advantage when it comes to process improvement.

Lazy People Network Well

The less time you spend at your desk, the more time you have to socialize. The irony of this is that networking is one of the most valuable things a person in business can do with their time. You can use networking time to promote your own projects, learn about what others are working on, discuss current events in your field, or simply build relationships. Who is more likely to get the promotion: the person who was stuck at their desk re-checking their work, or the one who brought in a new client, or made time for a round of golf with the boss? It isn’t fair, but it’s real.
10 Bad Habits to Avoid for Optimum Success

When you sit at your desk, are you more likely to be working hard, or hardly working? It turns out that both approaches to the daily grind have their benefits. Although you don’t want to throw a good work ethic completely out the window, it may be worth looking at your workday with lazy eyes once in awhile. Find ways to simplify your workload, and take some time for yourself. It just might be the change you need to get ahead!

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How To Get Along With People You Don’t Like

We all have people in our lives who we’d just rather not interact with – loudmouthed misogynists, shrill gossips, ignorant racists, hurtful name-callers – whatever type of person makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The most obvious course of action is to avoid these irritating people altogether. What should we do, though, when this just isn’t possible? Maybe the person who makes you want to pull your hair out is a co-worker, or maybe your children have pledged to be best friends forever. Maybe they are even related to you, or live across the street. To deal with these situations, we need to first get to the root of the problem. What, exactly, is the source of your annoyance?
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It may be tempting to believe that your friend’s husband rubs you the wrong way because he is simply wrong and you are better than he is – and maybe you are. However, research by University of Groningen psychologist Melvyn Hamstra suggests that the difference might have more to do with mindset. His studies found that the people who were most likely to clash with one another were those with different goals and worldviews. This information is useful because these differences are not only subjective in nature, but not easily changed. By viewing your tormentor as someone who is not worse than you, but just very different, it becomes easier to tolerate their irksome behavior.

Oddly enough, we are often even more bothered by people who are very similar to ourselves. While we may be tempted to chalk this effect up to competition, the truth is usually a little bit darker. We are not often put off by people who exhibit the same strengths as us. Usually, in fact, we are drawn to them and inspired by them. Rather, we tend to grit our teeth when we see someone exhibiting a behavior that we resent in ourselves. A woman who is ashamed of her own vanity may cringe when she sees someone constantly reapplying lipstick, because she realizes just how foolish it looks. A socially anxious teenager may feel like she will die of shame when her father makes a fool of himself in the mall – even if nobody else notices. The solution here is not to change the other person’s behavior, but to confront your own shortcomings and insecurities.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” This quote by Jim Rohn is applicable in many situations, not least of all being the struggle to accept a difficult person. You cannot control their behavior, but you can control your reaction to it – and to do this, you must first understand why they bother you so much. Will you ever be best friends? Probably not – but you will be able to sit across from them at the school fundraiser without rolling your eyes.

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5 Ways to Challenge Yourself And Face Your Fears

When is the last time you truly pushed yourself to become a greater, better, and more magnificent person? Often, we become overly comfortable in our daily routines, and our sense of self can stagnate. You may find yourself in a rut, seeing the same person in the mirror who stood there ten years ago – just a little bit older and a lot more tired.
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Here are five ways to push yourself out of that rut and take back your sense of self:

Earn Your Own Respect

Finish this sentence: I admire people who can _______. Do you admire people who are gourmet cooks? Novelists? Your neighbor who can fix his own car? The word choice here is important, because admiration implies that you greatly respect the accomplishment, but consider it to be beyond your personal reach. Chances are it isn’t. If you smart small, and continually push yourself to take baby steps, you can accomplish more than you think. Do you admire marathon runners? Start small with a jog around the block. Maybe do a Couch to 5k program. Push yourself to your limit today, and go just a little farther tomorrow. Someday you will achieve your marathon-level goal and look back at your journey with a tremendous sense of awe and self-respect.
Six Ways to Empower Yourself Daily And Be a Total Badass

Talk to a Stranger

Talk to one new person each day for a week. If you are shy, this might be terrifying at first – but that will make this exercise even more worthwhile. The validation we receive from talking to others can have a powerful impact on our confidence and help to build our sense of community. When you feel more at home in the world and in tune with those around you, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. Soon you will find yourself chatting with people while standing in line at the grocery store – just for fun!

Visit a Foreign Country

Immersing yourself in another culture forces you out of your comfort zone and greatly expands your worldview. Without your familiar surroundings, you are forced to rely on yourself more – especially if you do not speak the language. A new and drastically different environment could help you discover another side of yourself, and the challenge of navigating unfamiliar territory will build your confidence and sense of capability. You can dip your toe into this one by visiting an English speaking nation with your family, or take the full plunge by trekking through the jungle on your own. The further you push it, the greater the payoff will be.

Look Yourself in the Eye

Look at yourself in the mirror for one full minute without breaking eye contact. Do this every day. It sounds silly, and this practice can be incredibly unnerving at first. It’s okay to giggle though – soon you’ll get the hang of it. Holding eye contact is incredibly intimate, and, even though it is uncomfortable, you are getting to know yourself better when you do it. Say nice things to yourself, and build a relationship. Yes, it’s a weird thing to do, but it’s oddly effective.
5 Common Fears That Can Hold You Back In Life

Face Your Fear

Most of us have some sort of silly, irrational fear that we keep from others. We may keep it secret because it is childish and embarrassing, or because it may be tied to an unpleasant moment in our past. Whatever the reason, the secretive nature of our fears give them more power, and knowing that they lurk beneath the surface of our lives can undermine our confidence. Do that thing that scares you every day for a week, even if it is by yourself. Overcoming your fear will be a fantastic personal victory – one you probably never thought possible – and fill you with a sense of freedom and pride.

These suggestions are deeply challenging, but they were designed that way on purpose. Thomas Jefferson once said “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” Push yourself out of your comfort zone – you’ll be glad you did.

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Six Ways to Empower Yourself Daily And Be a Total Badass

When we consider ways to empower ourselves, our minds often leap to big, bold ideas – asking your boss for a raise, standing up to a bully, or training for a marathon. While these are all wonderful goals, the reality of effective self-empowerment is, thankfully, much more simple. By making small tweaks to the way we respond to the world around us, we can easily change our mindset from one of fear to one of confidence and capability.
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Below are six small changes you can make today that will empower you to take charge of your life and make stronger, better choices.

Ask Yourself Empowering Questions

Suppose your daughter comes home from school crying because of a fight with a friend. You are inclined to feel small, helpless, and sad that you cannot fix her problem for her. You may want to ask yourself “why is middle school so hard?”. This is a disempowering question, because the answer is out of your control and would not help the situation anyways. Although it seems like a good alternative, “how can I fix her problem?” is also a disempowering question, because you likely can’t. “What can I do to make this afternoon better for my daughter?” is an empowering question because it is both action-oriented and within your control. You can make her a cup of hot cocoa, listen to her vent, or give her a big hug. You can’t fix the world for her, but you can help her to tolerate it. Which brings us to our next tip…
The Art of Being Assertive

Learn to Accept an Imperfect World

It’s sad but true: horrible things happen every day, and to kind, undeserving people. Our instinct is to refuse to accept this. However, refusing to acknowledge negativity only gives it more power over us. Adopt a realistic attitude towards the world’s problems and what you can do about them. You are only one person – but one determined person can accomplish quite a lot. You cannot end homelessness, but you can volunteer at a soup kitchen. You cannot end the suffering that animals face in bad farming conditions, but you can be conscious of where you buy your meat and whether you choose to consume animal products at all. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, accepting our limitations can help us come closer to meeting our full potential.

Believe in Your Own Strength

We are conditioned from birth to be modest and self-deprecating. When we downplay our strengths and capabilities to others, we may end up internalizing this message and underestimating our own power. Write down three great things you’ve accomplished, three things you do very well, and three ways you make the world a better place – even for just one other person. Look at this list every day to remind yourself how powerful you can be. Send yourself a positive message, and encourage yourself in the same way that you would a close friend.

Choose to Embrace Change

Most of us fear change inherently – but change is not always negative. When faced with a big change, think about the last time you thrived under new circumstances. Gently remind yourself that if you’ve done it once, you can do it again.Then, visualize what it would mean to flourish in your new life. By practicing this consciously, you are training your mind to be excited and optimistic about new experiences. This new mindset will empower you to strive for positive change in your life, like accepting a promotion across the country or applying to law school.
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Face Challenges with Positivity

When faced with a challenging situation, ask yourself: How can I benefit from this? Every challenge is ultimately an opportunity to learn and grow. Even in failure or tragedy, we can build coping skills, resilience, and life perspective. We will not always enjoy this, but the greatest things in our lives, including our very identities, often come from the most intense growing pains. As an extreme example, childbirth is one of the most painful experiences known to humankind – but who can argue with the beautiful results?

Keep a Gratitude List

Take note of five things you are thankful for each day. Your list can be mental or physical, private or shared on your blog. Do it in a way that works for you, because the format truly doesn’t matter. Rather, the point of this exercise is to get yourself in the habit of embracing positive thoughts. This may sound like soft, feel-good advice, but actively engaging in thankfulness has been shown to increase both your productivity and your happiness.

Empowerment is not about one heroic act, but rather a series of small choices that build upon each other daily. It takes work to change your mindset to an empowering one, but once you do self-empowerment will become a natural part of your thought process. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

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This Brazilian Businessman Buried his Bentley For the Most Epic Reason

On the surface, Count Chiquinho Scarpa more closely resembles a villain from a James Bond movie than he does an activist. Scarpa is well known in his home country of Brazil for his wealth and eccentricities, most notably, his claims that he has willed his fortune to his pet cockatoo and claims that he has bedded a well-known Princess of Monaco. What fun is being a billionaire if you can be a little crazy too, right
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The Plan

Recently Scarpa claimed that since he was done with his $500,000 dollar daily driver, a Bentley, that he was simply going to bury it. He claimed he was taking a page from history where the ancient Pharaohs of Egypt would bury their possessions so that they would have them in the afterlife with them. Magazines, news outlets, and social media coverage was expansive, and public outrage soon followed. Even though people thought he was insane for not donating the car to charity or some other worthwhile endeavor, Scarpa announced a date, dug a giant hole, and held a press conference to “celebrate” the retirement of his prized vehicle.

The Funeral

As the car was being lowered into the ground, Scarpa broke down into tears and stopped the workers, much to the confusion of the members of the press that he had invited to his mansion for the funeral. Scarpa then said, “People condemn me because I wanted to bury a million dollar Bentley, in fact, most people bury something a lot more valuable than my car. They bury hearts, livers, lungs, eyes, kidneys. This is absurd. So many people waiting for a transplant and you will bury your healthy organs that will save so many lives.”

The Reality

Scarpa went on to say, “I have not buried my car, but everyone thought it absurd when I said I’d do it. It is absurd to bury their bodies, which can save many lives. Nothing is more valuable. Be a donor, tell your family”. As it turns out, the entire stunt was Scarpa’s way of raising awareness for the beginning of Brazil’s “National Organ Donation Week”. Scarpa used the power of social media specifically to get attention for the “funeral” of his car, and for weeks was probably one of the most hated men in South America. When it was all said and done, he was truly a hero for his cause.

In social media forums alone, over 172 million people were impacted by Scarpa’s message. Organ donation was the number one social media trend in Brazil and number 2 worldwide. The social media impact regarding organ donation got 734% more reach than the posts about the car burial. In one month, organ donation registration across Brazil increased by more than 30%. Scarpa’s story is an amazing example of how social media outreach can really make a positive change. Even if you have to play the role of a Bond villain for a few weeks to get your point across.

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18 Things To Give Without Expectation

How many times have you done someone a favor, only to find yourself fuming when it is not reciprocated? All too often, we think we are giving to others without any expectations, but on a deeper level we do want something in return – a reciprocation, a deepened friendship, or even a simple thank-you. However, if our kindness is contingent on a reward, however small, then can we really consider it a good deed?
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Being kind for kindness’ own sake can be tremendously rewarding, not only spiritually, but mentally, socially, and physically, as well. Getting into the habit of doing so, however, can be very tricky. One method is to do favors that cannot easily be measured or reciprocated. When we don’t expect a response, we can’t be disappointed when we don’t get one. This makes it easier to concentrate on our own spiritual growth.

Here are 18 ways you can practice altruism without expecting anything in return:

1.Make a homeless care kit. Keep it in your car to hand out when you see someone living on the street.

2.Offer to take a friend’s children to see a kids’ movie, go to the zoo, etc. Pretend you really want to go and need the kids with you as an excuse.

3.Apologize to someone you’ve hurt.

4.Mow your neighbor’s lawn.

5.Let someone vent to you. Act interested and sympathetic, even if you aren’t.
5 Things We Give Others that We Shouldn’t Expect in Return

6.Leave quarters at the laundromat.

7.Leave someone a note telling them how special/talented/inspiring they are. Don’t sign your name.

8.Leave a tin of cookies by a neighbor’s front door.

9.Teach someone to do something you are good at.

10.Ask someone to teach you something they are good at.

11.Give your full attention to a small child telling a story. Ask questions and listen until they are done.

12.Give money anonymously to someone who needs it. Never mention it.

13.When someone shares something that makes them feel vulnerable, say “me too.”

14.Learn to change a tire and pack an emergency kit. Next time you see someone stranded on the side of the road, pull over and help them.

15.Give someone the benefit of the doubt – even if they haven’t earned it.

16.Leave double your normal tip.

17.”A warm smile is the universal language of kindness,”  said William Arthur Ward. Smile at a stranger.

18.Ask someone with a different viewpoint why they feel that way. Listen, and don’t argue.

Kahlil Gibran once said “I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” Don’t let your service-induced joy be spoiled by expectations of reciprocation. Practice doing favors that are not easily returned, and giving to those who can’t give back. Soon your focus will shift from being thanked and applauded to the sincere happiness that comes with an altruistic attitude.

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How Baby Boomers Screwed Over The Millennials

Millennials, as a group, have an absolutely terrible reputation – and I, for one, think this is unwarranted. We are most often depicted as whiny, selfie-taking narcissists. Sure, some of us do fit that description – but this is true of any generation. However, the label millennials carry of being lazy and entitled is particularly uncalled-for – especially when we consider that this judgement is most often put upon us by the generations that ruined the economy in the first place.
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The word “millennial” has ceased to be a term for a generation, and become more of a blanket description for a person who is young and annoying. In fact, I hear many people complaining about millennials who do not realize that they, themselves, are a part of this generation. For this reason, I would like to define the term “millennial” before we go any farther. A global generational study conducted by Pricewaterhouse Coopers with the University of Southern California and the London Business School defined millennials as those born between 1980 and 1995. This puts today’s millennials between 21 and 36 years old. Millennials, in fact, are less likely to be rowdy spring breakers than the couple nearby wishing they’d settle down so their kids can go to sleep.

More importantly, millennials are not lazy people. According to a White House report on this age bracket, more millennials have a college degree than any other generation of young adults. They report that in 2013, 47 percent of 25 to 34-year-olds had received a post-secondary degree, and an additional 18 percent had completed some post-secondary education. However, many millennials have struggled with finding employment because we were entering the workforce during the most severe economic downturn since the Great Depression. As a millennial myself, I had just started college when the financial market crashed in 2008. We are not the generation that caused the economy to fall apart – but we are the ones left to pick up the pieces. As the Wall Street Journal reports, millennials in New York City are earning about 20% less than the previous generation of workers, and they are absolutely drowning in $14 billion in debt.

“The world is passing through troublesome times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress.” What critic of millennials said this? None. In fact, this quote came from a man named Peter the Hermit – in 1274. Throughout time, the older generations have always rolled their eyes that the younger ones. However, which seems more likely – that each generation gets lazier, ruder, and more impatient? Or that people tend to forget all too quickly, what it is like to be young?

Millennials Aren’t Lazy, We’re Hurting Because the Baby Boomers Screwed Us Over

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Incredible, Crows as Smart as Chimps!

Best known for her 55 year old research study, Jane Goodall taught us that chimpanzees are among the most intelligent animals, capable of learning language,  making tools, even expressing altruism. Since we share 96% of the same DNA, few of us are surprised by this discovery. Well, recent studies reveal that ravens, members of the corvid family ( that includes crows and jackdaws) are as clever as chimps!
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In 2014 at Duke University, experiments with primates were conducted that involved strategic choices to obtain food efficiently.  Scientists associated the success of this type of problem solving with brain size. However,  research in the UK and Germany that  included ravens, jackdaws and New Caledonian crows demonstrated that nearly 100% were capable of identical problem solving.

Remarkably, these experiments indicate that the intelligence of ravens is a result of neuronal density and brain structure, not size.  Biologists know that the corvid family of birds are among the smartest of all birds. Crows and ravens will drop nuts from high wires above vehicles, and clams onto rocks, to get them opened. Like human children, they can solve problems by insight and communicate in meaningful ways. Distinct “caws” represent alerts for humans, dogs, their own neighbors and each other.
Bird Math: The Secret Lives of Starlings

And with astounding recall, one North American crow, “Clark’s nutcracker”, collects 30,000 seeds in November, distributes them over a 200 mile area,  and manages to retrieve 90% of them over the following 8 months, even when they’re buried under feet of snow!

The use of tools by chimps has long been a measure of intelligence. Similar to Paleolithic man, New Caledonian crows create, use and carry tools from one place to another. Fashioned by their beaks and claws, these include hooks made from twigs, and barbed rakes and combs.  

And like us, corvids are highly social, smart animals. Ravens even apply their intelligence for the good of the flock. They contact others to alert them to a food carcass.  Hmm, not so far from a run to the coffee house…. you coming?

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How To Prevent, Recognize and Recover from Gaslighting

Justin Gammill’s recent article exposing the reality of gaslighting made me sick to my stomach. While I have had my share of emotionally unbalanced relationships, I have never participated in a romantic relationship that involved gaslighting. I suddenly felt immense empathy for anyone who had.
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Also, I was terrified. As a generally loving, compassionate person who has been accused more than once of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I saw myself cast in the role of gaslightee far too easily. My empathy grew nerves of steel and started researching voraciously. After plumbing the depths of scores of sources, I’ve come up with what I think is a pretty good couple of lists: one to build your defenses against gaslighting, and another to recognize when you are involved with a gaslighter.

Quick recap: gaslighting refers to a form of mental manipulation that is so subtle and strong that it makes the victim doubt their sense of reality. The gaslighter is the person perpetuating the manipulation; the gaslightee is the victim of it. While gaslighting has many hallmarks, its manipulations, deceptions and methods are as diverse in their perpetuations as the perpetuators themselves. Gaslighting is always about control and often the product of a narcissist at work.
“Gaslighting”: One of the Most Dangerous Forms of Mental Manipulation We All Deal With

Non-Engagement, Awareness, Recognition

I’m a big believer in prevention being the best medicine: the best way to avoid being gaslighted, therefore, is to prevent your involvement in a relationship with a gaslighter. Here are a couple of ideas about how to prevent relationship in a gaslighting relationship:

1. Cultivate an unwavering belief in your intuition, and when it speaks to you, listen with the utmost respect. When I doubt my intuition I have to go through a quick mental yes-or-no list: Am I a functional adult? Yes. Am I of sound mind and body? Yes. Have I gotten myself this far in life with this same intuition? Yes. Then why am I suddenly doubting it? Usually, that’s all it takes to realign my staunch devotion to my intuition. Sometimes we have to reassure ourselves of our own capabilities, but even when my self-esteem is bottoming for some reason (I’m fighting with my boyfriend, something is on fire and shouldn’t be, the cereal ran out and now there’s just a pile of Cheerios dust in my bowl, etc.) I can usually do a quick check-in to reassure myself that even though I may have to deal with the cereal situation I am absolutely capable of doing so. My intuition got me this far and so did yours: chances are, it’s going to keep doing a pretty good job taking care of you as long as you absolutely one hundred-percent believe in it.
2. Recognize, understand and trust that mental manipulations and distortions of reality are not about you. Again, this has its heart in trusting your intuition, but now you have to go one further and realize that this isn’t about you. In fact, it has nothing to do with you. Gaslighting is all about the gaslighter, and all about their need to control you. If you can recognize that the charming, funny, sweet, adorable, wonderful person with whom you’ve been getting dinner/seeing movies/knocking boots is trying to knock you off your game, then you can realize that it has nothing to do with your game. It’s all about their game. And you can kick them to the curb.
3. You don’t have to “win”: this isn’t about changing the other person’s perspective. You’re not going to. The only way to win is get out alive & move on with your life. Sometimes we have to learn how not to engage by engaging in the first place, and we want so badly to prove that we’re right and the other person is wrong because they’re trying to make us crazy and we’re not, we’re really not! that we lose perspective of the situation. The situation is: this person isn’t interested in who you are, how right you are, how wrong they may be. This person is out to throw you into a horribly demoralizing spiral of self-doubt, anxiety, fear, terror and insanity. The only way to win -the ONLY way- is to get out and to get as far away, as quickly as possible.

Are You Involved In A Gaslighting Relationship?

It can be hard to recognize involvement in a gaslighting relationship, but these are some of the signs:

1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself
2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
5. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
14. You wonder if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
    

Support: An Essential Component

One of the keys that I think is often overlooked in the prevention or recognition of and recovery from gaslighting is a strong support system. Many victims of gaslighting become isolated from their friends and families by their abusers. Being connected and staying connected to the people who love you and care about you and want you to be happy and healthy and in good relationships seems to be an absolutely vital, though sometimes underplayed, component of getting out of and recovering from a gaslighting relationship. Not to mention a gaslighter doesn’t have a chance with a person whose family and friends love and support them, because they know how to rely on that love and support and the gaslighting simply doesn’t stand a chance. Support systems: families, friends, fellowships, communities, neighborhoods, clubs, activity groups, etc. are all vital to recovery processes and have always been recognized as a signature of a person whose recovery is progressing well. Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you, and who, when your faith in yourself falters, won’t let you give up, and that gaslighter is going to have to find another victim, because you can’t be one.
How to Recognize and Neutralize Manipulation in Your Life

Of note: most of the resources I found suggested that women are generally the gaslightees and men the gaslighters. While this may be true in many cases, it’s important to recognize that women can just as easily be gaslighters, and that the “Gaslight Tango” can be just as easily perpetuated in non-heterosexual, non-monogamous, polyamorous relationships and even among families, as in heterosexual relationships.

If you or someone you know is involved in a gaslighting relationship please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-7233. The author of this article is not a doctor and this is not intended as medical advice.

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The Top 10 Traits That Make You Likable

Monday morning you’re at work, eager to share weekend news. You’re on the lookout for a certain coworker because,  “She’s just so easy to talk with, “ or, “It’s always great when he’s around”. Maybe friends are looking for you, for the same reasons.  What ingredients combine to create this very likable, sought after person? Why the heightened social regard?  On the short list, there are 10 common qualities we can all aspire to achieve.
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1. Humility

You’re not a braggart, and you don’t impose yourself into others’ conversations in order to strut your stuff.  Rather than pose as a self-proclaimed authority, you’re an active listener. You show restraint and respect by listening well and validating others. You don’t think less of yourself. You think of yourself less.

2. Personal Boundaries

You don’t offer unsolicited advice or opinions.  You don’t eavesdrop, snoop, gossip, or need to be first to know whatever and broadcast. Instead, you keep your own council and boundaries . You’re seen as a trusted, close-mouthed friend.

3. Praise

You notice and compliment the unique qualities and success of others. You genuinely appreciate and applaud accomplishment.
10 Highly Attractive Traits In Women (That Have Nothing to Do With Looks)

4. Sincerity

Your behavior is clear, honest and consistent. You aren’t swayed by popular opinion if you happen to disagree. You don’t pander to others for approval. Because you’re predictable you are seen as reliable. People count on you, and they can.

5. Optimism

Your glass is always half-full. Despite differences, you manage to find qualities in others to direct your focus. You understand that, like you, no one is without shortcomings.

6. Confidence

You practice esteem-able acts to maintain your own self-esteem. You know, trust, respect and accept yourself. Your inner strength has a magnetic influence, drawing others who  seek your friendship, advice and support.

7. Patience

You understand that we all have a learning curve and limits. You practice kindness and tolerance, fully aware life isn’t a fire drill.
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8. Forgiveness

You afford others the right to be wrong and forgive transgressions. You recognize there is value in everything and resentment is a toxic attachment  to another. You let things go rather than perpetuate discontent.

9. Curiosity

Rather than assume or jump to conclusions, you collect all the data in order to offer a fair, unbiased weigh-in on situations. Curiosity allows to you be more open minded.

10. Generosity

You offer help without being intrusive. You share your time, useful information, random surprise treats, simply for the greater good. If time allows, you volunteer for a cause or group you support. You know that giving increases personal reward.

Inspired?  See your strengths, your stretch goals?  As a humbled work-in-progress, I think I’ll tackle patience first. I almost feel a smidge more kind already.

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