Friday, 14 October 2016

How “3D” Thinking Creates Abundance

How "3D" Thinking Creates Abundance

Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw once said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”  Luckily, we live in a time of phenomenal possibilities. Today you can create and manifest your highest intentions and your greatest abundance. Here’s a simple process to bring your dreams to life.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Identify Your Personal Vision

How you see yourself informs your motivation. It drives your decisions about where you live, work, socialize, eat, exercise, play, and, well, evolve. So, what’s your inner “ideal” ? How do you imagine yourself doing what makes your heart sing, in an ideal location, wildly successful?  See every detail. Be bold! Write it out, or, paint it’s story and hang it on the wall.  Create your “vision” board.

In the early 90’s, Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for $10 million dollars  for “acting services rendered”, dated 1994.  He walleted his reminder until, “Dumb and Dumber”,  released in 1994, paid $10 million.

Recognize the Emotions of Abundance

When you detail your personal vision,  you’re bound to feel enthusiasm, conviction, courage, creativity and joy. Invigorated, you build confidence.  This  acts as a magnet, attracting into your world every type of support essential to fulfill your ideal.  Doubtful?  Well, quantum physics  finally proves what countless teachings have long suggested.  In the words of Einstein, “Imagination is everything.”
How Sarcasm Enhances Creative Thinking

Understand the Power of the Subconscious

When you engage all  of your senses to see abundance you practice a “3D” reality. You impress your subconscious mind.  Everything you manifest, including how your life is right now, originates in your subconscious, your field of limitless possibilities. Here are ways to  cultivate this field and replace limited beliefs with new truths.

Honor Your Authentic Self

When you succeed, everyone benefits. Your wealth, health, and emotional ’ Joie de Vivre’ ripple across the pond of your community and this beautiful planet with its own infectious light.  Isn’t time to claim your right  to the life you deserve?

The post How “3D” Thinking Creates Abundance appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Science Confirms Benefits of LSD

Science Confirms Benefits of LSD

Over fifty years ago random, covert and often dangerous experiments  with LSD were conducted by the CIA.

The subjects were unwitting American civilians and military personnel and the outcomes could fuel your worst nightmare. Nonetheless, many of these chaotic experiences, in addition to the hippie culture’s evangelized reports, informed our perceptions.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Until now that is, since recent double blind studies conducted by respected scientists offer truly remarkable outcomes. To understand the effects of LSD we need  wrap our mind around a paradox. Measured psychological effects run the range of positive, negative, mystical and strange.

The short term experiences from a single dose administered to healthy adults consistently included a psychosis-like altered state.  Mid to long term experiences (more than one year), however, reported a heightened sense of well being. This past February, scientists and psychiatrists at the Imperial College, London, published results that noted the greater benefit being an improved quality of cognition. This “loosened cognition” afforded the participants more flexibility in their sense of Openness.
Inside The Institute Of Illegals Images: Over A Millions Hits Of LSD On Display

There are five measureable domains of  our personality:  Neuroticism, Extroversion, Openness, Agreeableness and Conscientiousness. Openness includes aesthetic appreciation, creativity, and imagination. More flexibility in Openness translated to a broader sense of interconnectedness with all people and things, a sort of transcendence of their former beliefs.

Commonly identified as the mystical experience of LSD, earlier research (2011) uncovered the same increase in one’s personality domain known as Openness. Though personality traits are relatively enduring and fairly stable by age 30,  similar experiments resulted in long term changes in behaviors, attitudes and values at least 40-50% of the time. Despite consistent short-term psychosis-like events, participants described a greater sense of peace and joy that were elevated from previous patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.
Could MDMA Save Relationships?

Will this lead to clinical benefits? Treatment for  issues of depression, addiction and end-of-life anxiety are being explored.  But if you’re curious for anecdotal, personal experience, you might enjoy this amazing  narrative,  or this brief highlight by pioneering neurologist Oliver Sacks.  

The post Science Confirms Benefits of LSD appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Do You Have High Functioning Depression?

Do You Have High Functioning Depression?

Imagine a person who is struggling with depression. Are they unable to get out of bed? Failing out of school? Spending all of their time alone? Are they always crying? This is the picture painted for us by pop culture and the pharmaceutical companies – and it’s a real problem. Depression sometimes looks like this. More often than not, though, it’s more complex.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Depression can hide behind bright smiles and good grades. It can live within social butterflies and athletic success stories. It can raise well-behaved children, maintain a clean house, and cook fantastic meals. It can double a company’s quarterly profits. It goes to class, hangs out with friends, and shows up to work on time. Really, it can look like anything. It makes an art form of blending in. It hides within us, and it hides from us. It carves out holes in our being. It eats us away from the inside, before we even know it is there.

All too often, it doesn’t show on the outside at all.

High-functioning depression is insidious because it is quiet. It hides beneath layers of perfectionism. It feeds off of denial and shame. It convinces us not to get help. We don’t look like the hopeless and unkempt women in the anti-depressant commercials. We are breadwinners. We are caregivers. We are doers. We run the PTA and organize the bake sale. We facilitate board meetings. We go to spin class. We land big accounts at work.

People depend on us.

We don’t look hopeless or helpless. We haven’t cried in years. We don’t spend our days lying in bed, wasting away, unable to face the world. We aren’t mentally ill. We’re high functioning! We get things done, for crying out loud!
15 Things To Remember When Loving Someone With Depression

So we don’t get help.

And the void inside of us continues to grow.

We lose more of our lives to this disease. We attend our children’s soccer games, but we aren’t really there. We grit our teeth and hide our irritability. Our inner world grows more desperate. With the exception of the occasional dark joke or sharp comment, we keep it bottled up. We don’t get help, because nobody would ever believe that we needed it.

We don’t believe it ourselves.

Our depression may isolate us from the people who care about our well-being the most. It causes us to withdraw. It can prevent us from showing up for the ones we love – even when we are physically present. It may irritate us into making hurtful comments or cruel jokes. “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad,” wrote Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. There are many ways our depression can make us lonely. There are many ways our loneliness can make us depressed.

“The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived,” explained Katie McGarry.
Prescription for Anxiety, Stress, and Depression is Showing Amazing Results

Getting help is not the same as admitting defeat. In fact, it is just the opposite. Asking for help is a difficult thing to do. It makes you strong. It just might give you your life back.

If you suffer from high-functioning depression, don’t allow it to bully you into submission. Fight back.

Here are some resources that can get you started.

The post Do You Have High Functioning Depression? appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

What Is High Functioning Anxiety?

What Is High Functioning Anxiety?

Anxiety is hard to understand. High-functioning anxiety is even more so. We stress, we plan, we panic. We achieve. We tell people we’re fine. We say this so much we may start to believe it ourselves.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

On the inside, though, we are drowning.

It might leak out from time to time in little ways. We bite our nails. We grind our teeth. We move on with our day.

Maybe the leaks become more significant. We start pulling out strands of our hair. We cancel plans at the last minute. We begin skipping meals and counting calories to feel more firmly in control. These behaviors may not look like anxiety, but this disease rarely stays put neatly in a box. Not like the rest of our lives.

We may have panic attacks that literally take our breath away. These can come with chest pains that feel like a heart attack, or sweaty hands and full-body chills. We may have no symptoms at all but a sense that the world is closing in around us.

We smile through them, and we carry on.

We continue to achieve dramatically. We act as if accolades are the cure for that thing which feels so very wrong with us. We become team captain. We chase a promotion at work. We maintain stellar grades. We hold the report card, the winning shot, the good review. We press them close to our chest, like armor. These things prove that we are okay. These things prove that we are good enough.
22 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends To Know

Still, in the face of our greatest achievements, the anxiety makes its way into our lives. It seems as though each victory only brings more pressure. Will I say the wrong thing? Will I botch an assignment? What if I don’t make that deadline? Will that be what does it? Or will it be something else? When will it come?

What will be the thing I do that causes the mask to slip? How long do I have until everyone learns I’m not good enough?

What if they already know? Do they see me flailing?

We find the evidence wherever it is, and even where it isn’t. A warm smile is mistaken for a condescending smirk. A compliment is examined for backhanded angles. An unanswered text becomes suspect, rather than routine.

We may withdraw from our friendships. We might push through as a part of our effort to seem “okay.” The people close to us notice something is wrong, but they aren’t sure what. After all, we’re keeping up with work. We’re getting good grades. They might label us as busy or stressed, or something similarly innocuous. They don’t realize that we only keep moving forward because we’re too afraid to stop.
Children Can Inherit Anxiety and Depression

They don’t realize that we’re not truly living a life. We do too good a job at faking it. We smile. We laugh. We dance. We tell ourselves that we’re okay, and the world believes us.

We deserve more.

You deserve more than this, whether you know it or not.

Asking for help is a tremendously difficult and courageous thing to do.

We owe it to ourselves to live whole and happy lives. Start on your path to wellness, and don’t stop trying until you feel like your best self. There’s medication, talk therapy, and group support. There’s acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments. Many people use essential oils, verbal affirmations, journaling, or art therapy. We live in a world full of answers. Use them to become whole again. Blend your favorites. Make your wellness a priority.

Don’t stop searching until you find a treatment plan that works for you. You are absolutely worth it.

The post What Is High Functioning Anxiety? appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Thursday, 13 October 2016

25 Things NOT To Say To Your Kids

25 Things NOT To Say To Your Kids

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children,” wrote John Steinbeck in East of Eden. Boy, does it ever! We need courage to love, to lead, and to nurture. Sometimes we need courage just to make it through the day.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Most difficult of all is finding the courage to admit when we are wrong. Often, we say things out of habit, frustration, or even good intentions that just aren’t helpful. We can’t take our words back – but we can stop saying them now.

Here are 25 things that your child does not need to hear from you:

“Don’t be sad/mad/upset.”

We can’t help the way we feel. Teach your child do work through their emotions rather than denying them.

“You’re a much better reader than Kevin!”

Don’t encourage your child to compare themselves to their friends. Help them focus on their own growth. They don’t need to validate themselves at the expense of others.

“You’re my perfect angel!”

This makes your child believe that you expect perfection from them. According to an Ohio State University study, this can lower your child’s self-esteem and promote a fear of failure. Instead, love them in their imperfection.

“Why can’t you be more like Claire?”

Your child is unique, wonderful, and special. Encourage them to be the best version of themselves – not a second-rate copy of somebody else.

“I can’t say no to you, sweetheart!”

Children need boundaries to feel safe and develop good behavioral skills. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child.
Research Shows that Problem Children make Better Adults

“I know you didn’t mean to kick your brother.”

Um, yes they did. Find out why.

“I told you so.”

How do you like to hear this as an adult? If you have the opportunity to say this phrase, there’s a good chance your child has already learned from their mistake.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself!”

According to a University of Michigan study, children who are shamed become defiant and aggressive.

“This is how we’ve disciplined children in this family for generations. I turned out just fine.”

The idea that something has always been done a certain way is NOT a good reason to keep doing it.

“As long as you live here, you will live by my rules.”

Your child might take you up on this threat and run away. If they stay, they will feel trapped and unwelcome in their own home.
Unplug Your Kids: Why Tech-Free Time Is So Important For Adolescents

“Don’t make me cancel Christmas/turn this car around/send you to military school!”

When you make threats you cannot or will not enforce, you undermine your own credibility.

“Because I said so!”

If your child asks about a rule, take the time to explain it to them. Would you follow a rule you didn’t agree with or understand?

“You’re making me angry/sad/frustrated.”

Your child is not responsible for your emotions. This phrase teaches them to shift responsibility for their emotional state on to others, rather than working through negative feelings on their own.

“Ugh, what do you need NOW?”

Teach your children that their needs are important. This will help them become adults who take care of themselves.

“You’re acting like a baby.”

Is your child anxious? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared? Frustrated? Don’t shame them. Help them to work through their feelings.

“Big kids aren’t afraid to do that.”

Don’t invalidate your child’s fears. Instead, be an ally in conquering them.

“Hurry up!”

This phrase is very common, but ineffective. It doesn’t make children move faster. It only stresses them out.

“You’re fine.”

It’s up to your child to decide if they feel okay or not.

“Calm down. It’s not a big deal.”

It might not be a big deal to you – but it is to your child. If you want them to share the big stuff with you when they’re older, you need to listen to the little stuff now. To them, it’s all important.

“Stop crying.”

Children need to express their feelings. Don’t teach them to bottle up their emotions.

“Eat your broccoli. It’s healthy!”

According to researchers at the University of Chicago, this reinforces the idea that healthy foods don’t taste good. Don’t make a chore of eating nutritious meals. Make vegetables tasty and fun instead.

“I can’t eat that. I need to lose weight.”

We all have issues with our body image – but we don’t need to share them with our children. Set an example of self-acceptance instead.

“Too much ice cream will make you fat.”

Keep the emphasis on health and happiness, rather than looks. Your children are beautiful exactly as they are.
New Research Confirms You Shouldn’t Spank Your Kids

“It was great that you scored a goal today. Maybe next time you’ll score two!”

Celebrate success. Don’t minimize it by expecting more.

“You were so nice today. Why can’t you be like this all the time?”

Don’t take the victory away from them. Praise good behavior without turning it into a backhanded compliment.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands,” wrote Anne Frank. We do the best we can. We work hard to send our children along the correct roads in life, and eventually to forge their own. We cannot control the destination. We can only hope to fill them with wisdom, love, and respect to take along the way.

The post 25 Things NOT To Say To Your Kids appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Monday, 10 October 2016

This Cat Won’t Stop Thanking Its New Owner After Almost Being Put To Sleep

Six Ways to Harness Your Inner Alpha

Six Ways to Harness Your Inner Alpha

Think of an alpha male or alpha female. What sets them apart? Are the successful? Respected? Does leadership come naturally to them? Do they have a way of getting what they want?

Very few of us naturally take on this persona. The beta personality traits rest in our comfort zone. We let the true leadership work fall to the alphas. It only seems natural.

The problem with this is that great leadership draws from both mindsets. The most successful people in business are often beta personalities who have learned key alpha traits. If a beta personality can cultivate the alpha within just enough to slide to the middle of the spectrum, they set themselves up for a remarkable level of success. Take the best of both worlds. Speak like an alpha, but listen like a beta. Promote your own ideas, but learn from others. Awaken your inner alpha and become the great leader you know you can be.

Here are six ways to do that:

1. Mind Your Arrogance

When trying to come across as more confident, many people overshoot the mark. This can make you seem pushy and abrasive. Tap into the beta side of your brain, and notice how other people react to your new boost in confidence. If they seem put off, you may want to turn it down a notch. Take the time to fine tune your new attitude. Learn to walk the line between being confident and being a bully.

2. Find a Role Model

Think of someone whose leadership style you admire. This person should be effective, successful, and well liked. Ask them to mentor you. Discuss the way you come across on a daily basis. Ask your mentor to clue you in on small mistakes that may undermine the way you present yourself. Practice important speeches and difficult conversations with your mentor. Use their wisdom.

3. Dress for Confidence

I would love to say that appearance doesn’t matter. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t. However, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in this one. Dress in a way that is acceptable in your environment. Put together an outfit that conveys maturity, self-assuredness, and intelligence. Most importantly, wear something that makes you feel confident. Even the most perfectly curated ensemble can weigh you down if it makes you feel phony or wrong. Wearing an outfit you feel comfortable in will put you more at ease in the world. You should feel like the best possible version of yourself – not someone else.
Why Being With An Alpha Female Is The Best Relationship You Could Have

4. Take Action

If you see work that needs to be done, get right to it. Take the initiative to get things accomplished. This demonstrates problem solving skills, confidence, and a strong work ethic. Jumping in where you see you are needed is a very alpha move. It projects a sense of duty and a high self-worth. It is the rare tactic that conveys these qualities without an air of self-centeredness or arrogance. Others will take notice.

5. Smile Often

Alpha personalities often sacrifice likeability to get results. For this reason, building relationships becomes more crucial with every inch you slide along the alpha scale. Show others that you care by the simple act of smiling. Smile warmly when you greet somebody to let them know you’re happy to see them. Smile with appreciation to let someone know that you notice their good work. Smile with gratitude when someone helps you complete a task. A smile makes you more more attractive, more likeable, and more confident. It sounds simple, but most people do not do this nearly enough.

6. Take Calculated Risks

With great risks come great rewards. These are the big moves that alpha personalities are most known for. Start small. Try a food that scares you a little bit. Go on a hike you would normally find too intimidating. Ease into the world of risk where the stakes are low. Then, when a big risk comes along that feels right, you can jump into it with comfort and confidence.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi realized that the only thing standing between our current selves and our best selves is our attitude. Change your mind about who you can be and what you can do. You’ll be amazed at the person you uncover.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

The post Six Ways to Harness Your Inner Alpha appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Six Things Narcissists Say

Six Things Narcissists Say

“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people,” wrote Jonathan Franzen. His words may sound harsh, but they are absolutely true. Kindness and generosity often seem to make us even more vulnerable to unhealthy relationships. Toxic people know how to seek out these qualities. They know how to exploit them. A common perpetrator of this behavior is the garden variety narcissist.

Here are six things a narcissist might say to manipulate you:

1. “Nobody else feels this way. You’re the only person I have these kinds of fights with!”

A narcissist will try to place the blame squarely and exclusively on you. By singling you out, they are trying to isolate you in your pain. They want to shake your confidence. Don’t let them. Discuss the situation with a friend and ask if they think you are overreacting. When they confirm that you aren’t, take this validation to heart. You have a right to your feelings. Being hurt does not make you wrong.

2. “You’re remembering that wrong. It actually happened very differently.”

Gaslighting is an abuse tactic wherein one partner intentionally causes the other to doubt their own reality. It shakes the victim’s confidence in their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It causes them to question their very experience. This leaves the narcissist free to construct their own version of reality, which can look any way they like. Defend your own memory, and own your perceptions. Don’t allow this abuse to stop you from trusting your own mind.
How to Love a Narcissist Without Losing Yourself

3. “You’re so selfish/paranoid/controlling.”

Often, a narcissist will project their own character flaws onto their partner. This is easier than taking ownership or trying to change them. Psychological projection is extremely common among narcissists and non-narcissists alike. It’s considered to be a basic defense mechanism. We are all prone to using it at times to protect our self image and deny our problems. Narcissists, however, are more adept at this thinking than most.

4. “I love that dress, but are your legs really your best asset to show off?”

Narcissists are masters of the backhanded compliment. “Congratulations on the internship! I’m glad you managed to land it, even with those grades.” “That’s a beautiful ring! I’m sure he’ll upgrade to a bigger stone when he can afford it.” These are not compliments. They are insults disguised as such to make the narcissist feel superior without looking mean. They are designed to damage your self-esteem and leave you vulnerable to further abuse.
How Parents Build Narcissistic Children

5. “Come on, you know I didn’t mean it that way. You’re just so sensitive.”

Nothing is a narcissist’s fault – not even their own words and actions. A narcissist will avoid taking responsibility for hurtful behavior at all costs. Instead, they will place the blame on you. You’re too sensitive. You’re just looking for trouble. You’re always starting fights like this. If you feel guilty and self-conscious for being hurt, it is very likely you are dealing with a narcissist.

6. “They don’t understand our relationship. They’ve just never felt love this strong.”

This may sound sweet – however, it is anything but. A narcissist will use this line as a weapon. With this phrase, they discredit family and friends who are trying to show you how damaging your relationship is. These people care about you. There is a good chance they have experienced an unhealthy relationship of their own. Don’t let a narcissist isolate you from these people. They are on your side. Hold on to them tightly.

“When the healthy pursuit of self-interest and self-realization turns into self-absorption, other people can lose their intrinsic value in our eyes and become mere means to the fulfillment of our needs and desires,” wrote P.M. Forni. To a narcissist, even their most valued relationships are mostly about them. They will never be able to treasure you with the same care that a healthy partner would show. This is why it’s best to let them go.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

The post Six Things Narcissists Say appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

7 Reasons To Date a Girl Who Travels

7 Reasons To Date a Girl Who Travels

There was an article spread online a while ago under a debatable title: “Don’t date a girl who travels”. In my view it came across in a sort of defensive form “Don’t dare to date a girl who travels, unless you are happy to let her go anyway”. Really? Is that the only conclusion a poor guy can make when meeting a girl who travels on his life journey?

Thankfully not. Here it’s an antidote to it. Tut. Date a girl who travels because:

One: You will expand your boundaries.

You know this. There is no better way to open up to the world than spending some time with a person who knows something about it. You gain precious knowledge and you will take it in, because it’s not “the wisdom” given by your local butcher who gathers it from daily press release. It’s this interesting girl who will tell you about it!

Two: You become inspired.

Big time. The world will open up for you, and who knows, maybe soon you will be off rocking to your dream destination.

Three: You have no drama dates guaranteed.

Because travelling for a long time shapes people’s character to a very strong degree. The girl who travels, if at any point was a drama queen, had to give up this attitude a long time ago, because travelling is amazing, but demands no mercy. The girl who travels had to put up with lack of sleep, comfort, sometimes loneliness and she has to have eyes in a back of her head to protect herself. She put up with all that and turned it into a positive experience. Otherwise she would not be able to travel for too long.
People Explain Why They Lost Interest After a Few Dates

Four: You have no high maintenance nonsense.

Similarly to the point above there is no drama if there are no expensive dinners and days out. Travelling teaches taking initiative pretty much at all times and making the best out of every moment, even the most awkward ones. And the girl who travels can offer you all these and will appreciate them too.

Five: You will experience no boredom.

Unless discovering, trying new activities and learning about yourself is a bore to you.

Six: You will have your space.

The girl who travels has a number of things going on in her life and there is no way she will be meowing behind you day by day to entertain her. She will get on with her stuff, not to mention her travelling. So when she is off you can happily hook up with your mates and experience so called “your space” which we – people of the West seem to all crave now days.
Why You Should Consider Dating A Girl Who Reads

And finally…. (this is the best one!)

Seven: Go to travel with her and you’ll find out whether you are compatible in the speed of light.

Travelling together as a couple is an amazing and enriching experience which in the ideal world will add the value to your relationship. However let’s be honest, it can be also a very intense thing to do. You may not be used to it, especially if this sort of travelling is new to you, so it’s your relationship. So date a girl who travels, pack your toys and go with her for probably one of the most unforgettable life journeys, and you’ll quickly find out whether you are getting the wings from this, or you just wasting your time. And if this is the case, you can always date a different girl who travels. At some point you may both stop at your desired destination!
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

The post 7 Reasons To Date a Girl Who Travels appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

The Gulabi Gang: Women and Justice in India

The Gulabi Gang: Women and Justice in India

In a country known for its violence against women, a vigilante group has literally taken to the streets wielding sticks to enforce its own brand of justice.

The coolest part? This group is made up entirely of women.

“Yes, we fight rapists with lathis (sticks). If we find the culprit, we thrash him black and blue so he dare not attempt to do wrong to any girl or a woman again,” explained Sampat Devi Pal, the founder of India’s notorious Gulabi Gang. Devi first picked up her stick against a neighbor who had beaten his wife. That was thirty years ago, and she has not put it down since.

Along the way, many Indian women have joined her cause. Many more have come to her seeking justice. “People know my name and they’ve come because they’ve heard about my work,” she said. In a nation where a woman is reportedly raped once every fifteen minutes, the popularity of her cause comes as no surprise.

Even the nation’s men have come to respect (and certainly fear) the Gulabi Gang. They make themselves known by their pink saris, which instill a sense of pride in each member. “I get a lot of respect and dignity when I wear the pink sari,” said Maya Davy, a young mother of five who has been a member for almost two years. “Men speak nicely, they listen to me, they’re not authoritarian anymore, so it’s better.”

The Gulabi Gang‘s mission to “protect the powerless from abuse and fight corruption” is a challenging one. They fight violence against women, they prevent child marriages, and they also fight for basic rights for the poor. In addition to all of this, they deliver a sense of power to their own members. Many of them have been victims of violence themselves.

“When a woman seeks the membership of Gulabi Gang, it is because she has suffered injustice, has been oppressed and does not see any other recourse,” said Suman Singh, the group’s deputy commander. “All our women can stand up to the men and if need be seek retribution through lathis.”

The Gulabi Gang has also achieved notoriety and respect on an international level. They have been the subject of a documentary and a book, as well as widespread international media attention.

“The justice system in Bundelkhand is dysfunctional and unreliable,” reported Amana Fontanella Khan, journalist and author of Pink Sari Revolution. “The Gulabi Gang has stepped into the vacuum left by the state and offers an alternative means of attaining justice.”

They truly have – and the state cannot help but take notice. “The Gulabi Gang has created such a force of women’s rights and awakening that it has brought a new desire to fight against women’s exploitation,” acknowledged Arvind Sen, the superintendent of police of the Banda district.

Through it all, Devi stands by her message with a warrior’s strength. “Men who commit these atrocities should be beaten by women. They should be caught and have a tattoo of ‘I am a rapist’ engraved on their forehead,” she says. I cannot help but agree.

The post The Gulabi Gang: Women and Justice in India appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Friday, 30 September 2016

Marijuana May Protect Brain Cells from Alzheimer’s

Marijuana May Protect Brain Cells from Alzheimer's

The use of marijuana and cannabis compounds in the medical field is increasing.

We’ve all heard how it can help cancer patients cope with their disease, as well as their treatments, but now it may be able to help patients with another serious disease as well: Alzheimer’s.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

In a new study from the Salk Institute, scientists have discovered that tetrahydrocannabinol or THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, has been helping relieve plaque forming Alzheimer’s proteins from lab-grown brain cells. Although research is still in the preliminary stages, the find is promising, and it may just lead to the creation of new therapeutics for patients suffering from the disease.

Other studies have been conducted with similar results, but this is the first time researchers have been able to demonstrate and record that cannabinoids have an affect on both the inflammation and accumulation in the nerve cells directly.

“Although other studies have offered evidence that cannabinoids might be neuroprotective against the symptoms of Alzheimer’s, we believe our study is the first to demonstrate that cannabinoids affect both inflammation and amyloid beta accumulation in nerve cells,” explains David Schubert, Salk Professor and senior author of the study.

The breaking down of protein buildup is important to the overall find, but what people don’t understand is just how important reducing inflammation within the cells can be. When the cells are inflamed, it makes it incredibly difficult for your neurons to communicate the way they’re supposed to, which is the root of the disease itself.
5 of the Most Ridiculous Arguments Against Marijuana Leagalization

Besides the discovery that THC can break down plaque buildup and reduce inflammation, this study also shows researchers that there is a strong connection between the protein plaque and the neurons themselves, which has only been previously hypothesized. It’s believed that THC is able to work within the brain’s naturally occurring endocannabinoid receptors in order to slow the progression of the disease.

The study is still only in the preliminary stages, and there is a lot of work to be done before this link between THC and Alzheimer’s can be called anything more than casual. The recent acceptance of both medical and recreational marijuana has opened the door for scientists to study the effects of cannabis compounds on the brain and body. There is still a vast amount of work to be done, but the possibilities are enlightening.

The post Marijuana May Protect Brain Cells from Alzheimer’s appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

20 Simple Ways to Practice Emotional Self-Care

20 Simple Ways to Practice Emotional Self-Care

Self-care is not a selfish or frivolous thing. It is time we stopped looking at this practice as a luxury. If we are to be our best and most useful selves, caring for our souls is a necessity. A happy and healthy person can accomplish twice as much as one who is fighting burnout.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Here are 20 small ways to care for yourself today:

1. Forgive yourself for small mistakes. Treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would a close friend.

2. Ask someone you look up to to be a personal mentor. You will make their day.

3. Leave 15 minutes in your day as white space. Allow yourself to slow down and be silent. This is especially nurturing if you have active children or a demanding job.

4. Listen to at least three songs you love each day.

5. When you feel your self-esteem start to slip, write a love letter to yourself.

6. Journal every night. Even a short entry counts. Draw cartoons, write poetry, or keep a gratitude list. Mix it up. Make it your own.

7. Resist pressure to spend your free time in a way that pleases others. If you are an introvert, don’t apologize for needing solitude. Nurture your soul in a way that feels right to you.

8. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions. Feel your feelings, even (and especially) if they are painful.

9. Do something creative each day. It doesn’t matter how small. All creativity feeds the soul.

10. Give yourself three compliments each morning. Start off the day by working toward a positive self-image.
3 Ways to Accept, Treasure, and Cherish Your Authentic Self

11. Don’t attempt to do everything yourself. Tell people what you need from them. You’ll be surprised at how willing they are to help.

12. Learn to receive a compliment in a way that makes you feel empowered, rather than awkward. This is surprisingly hard.

13. Cultivate gratitude. Take note of small joys in your life as you go about your day.

14. Learn to say no.

15. Take deep breaths when you are angry, stressed, or afraid.

16. Eat something delicious each day without guilt. You have my permission.

17. Listen to the way you speak to yourself. You’ll be surprised at the messages you may have internalized. Make an effort to engage in positive self-talk.

18. Take note of one thing you love about your body each day.

19. Set boundaries. Encourage others to do the same. Respect them without criticism.

20. Learn to meditate. It’s surprisingly easy!

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others,” observed Christopher Germer. Treat yourself with kindness today. You deserve it, and your loved ones deserve to experience the best version of you.

The post 20 Simple Ways to Practice Emotional Self-Care appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

8 Behaviors that Stop You from Finding Love

8 Behaviors that Stop You from Finding Love

“You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” Lisa Kleypas understood the power of looking inward to solve external problems. Often, when we struggle to find love, we look to the people with whom we have tried to make it work. It is natural to blame others for our pain and frustration. However, it is not productive.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Is it possible that some of your own behaviors are standing between you and true love?

Here are eight common mindsets that could prevent you from finding a happy relationship:

1. You don’t trust easily.

This often begins as a survival skill. After being hurt, it is normal to build up a wall. However, the same wall that keep out the pain could also keep people out who have good intentions. Take a leap of faith. Trust someone with a small secret, and see what happens. You don’t have to jump in all at once. Just don’t be afraid to test the waters.

2. You are afraid of changing who you are.

Good news – if you are in a healthy relationship, you won’t have to! Don’t hide your quirks when you are looking for love. Embrace them. The right person will love you for who you truly are. This includes your oddities, your unusual hobbies, and even your flaws.

3. You make the same mistakes over and over.

Look to your past relationships. Did they all end the same way? If so, you may need to work on yourself before getting back out there. If you don’t fix the ongoing problem, you are only setting your next relationship up to crash and burn in the same way.

4. You’re hung up on someone who is uninterested or unavailable.

It’s easy to imagine a fantasy love with someone if you know it would never happen. There is a good chance that if the two of you were together, things would play out much differently. If you compare everyone you meet to a fantasy, they will always come up short. Let go of the dream, and pursue someone you might have a real future with.
When Love Is Not Enough

5. You struggle with your self-esteem.

It is easy to believe the right relationship would fix this problem. Unfortunately, that isn’t how it works. You need to love yourself before you can build a healthy relationship with someone else. Put your relationship with yourself first for awhile. It’s the one that truly matters.

6. You stick to your “deal breakers.”

I am a proud Penn State graduate. My husband is a Michigan fan. I know lots of couples who have similar mismatches on the surface, but managed to find a deep and fulfilling love together. Don’t let someone’s unattractive hands or penchant for double dipping blind you from their good heart.

7. You are jaded.

If too many broken relationships have left you bitter, you might not be giving love a fair chance. This does not only apply to your past break-ups. You may be a child of divorce or the victim of a toxic friendship. Most likely, you need to work through the pain of the past before you can embrace a healthy relationship in the present.

8. Your standards are not realistic.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly,” wrote Sam Keen. If you hold your romantic prospects to an impossible standard, you will never be pleased. You are also not giving them a chance to be vulnerable with you. To make a relationship work, you need to give one another the freedom to be flawed.

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love,” wrote Mandy Hale. Seek love in the world, but also look inward. Build your relationship with yourself. Become the kind of person people fall in love with. Then, open up your heart to others.

The post 8 Behaviors that Stop You from Finding Love appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Thursday, 29 September 2016

21 Ways to Keep a Strong Woman Satisfied

21 Ways to Keep a Strong Woman Satisfied

Many men are drawn to strong, empowered women. Few know what to expect once they manage to catch one. A confident and independent woman acts differently from others. She may want you, but she doesn’t need you. She respects your needs, but she won’t let her own be forgotten. She will not compromise her values, ambitions, and morals for anyone’s sake. She will not be your doormat, and she does not want you to become hers.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Strong women terrify men, because they are not afraid to leave.

Here’s some advice for keeping the empowered woman in your life happy.

1. Expect you will have to work for her trust. Earn it by being honest, dependable, and respectful.

2. Allow her to be vulnerable with you, but don’t demand it.

3. Show her that she can trust you to keep her deepest secrets. Make it clear that her most private thoughts, feelings, and moments will stay that way with you.

4. Don’t play games. Operate with honesty.

5. When she takes responsibility for her part in an argument, you should do the same. It is rarely a one-way street.

6. When she challenges your ideas and opinions, don’t get defensive. This is a sign that she respects you.
50 Ways To Show A Woman You Love Her

7. Practice gratitude together.

8. Reassure her that even if she doesn’t need you, you are always there to help her. Make it clear that you do not think any less of her when she asks for your support.

9. Celebrate her accomplishments.

10. When she fails, praise her efforts. Help her identify what she learned and gained from the experience.

11. Help her to make a positive impact in the community. Volunteer together. Strong women love passionate men.

12. Give her spiritual practices a chance. Be honest if they do not ring true to who you are. Respect and support her in pursuing them, even if you do not share her beliefs.

13. Respect her boundaries.

14. Realize that actions speak much more loudly than words. Don’t just apologize when you are wrong. Change your behavior.

15. Share your ambitions with her. Allow her to help you reach them.

16. Ask about her career goals. Keep track of the progress she is making. Praise and recognize her hard work, no matter what the results.

17. Be clear about your expectations. Discuss the future of your relationship with honesty and transparency. Strong women appreciate straightforward men.

18. Get to know her friends and family members.

19. Don’t be offended when she asks for alone time to recharge.

20. Encourage her to care for herself.

21. Refuse to gossip about other people. This looks petty and weak to a confident woman.
7 Quotes On Love For The Strong, Intense, and Complex Woman

“Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with,”explained Michelle Obama. Be a person who makes your empowered woman feel good. She will do the most incredible things with you by her side.

The post 21 Ways to Keep a Strong Woman Satisfied appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

20 Body Language Tricks that Make Others Like You

20 Body Language Tricks that Make Others Like You

Most of us are conscious of the words we say. So why do we often send messages we didn’t mean to? Our body language can influence how confident, trustworthy, and likeable we seem to the world.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Did you know that over half of what we communicate is nonverbal?

Here are 20 things you can do to make sure you are sending the right message:

1. Mirror people’s movements.

2. Smile often. Think of something happy so it will feel genuine, rather than forced.

3. Step closer to someone who wants to feel close to you.

4. Step back from someone who indicates they need space.

5. Mirror posture in a subtle way.

6. Don’t cross your arms over your chest. This makes you seem closed off or unhappy.

7. Maintain eye contact for at least three seconds. Smile warmly while you do so.

8. Be conscious of having good posture. Avoid slouching.

9. Don’t lean on things.

10. Point your shoes toward the person you are speaking with.

11. Don’t fake a laugh. If someone makes a joke and laughter doesn’t come naturally, trust that a smile will suffice.
8 Tips to Mastering Body Language that will Win Anyone Over

12. Maintain eye contact for the duration of a handshake.

13. Shake hands with light but firm pressure. Use the same force as you would to lift the handle of a pan.

14. Smile when you enter a room.

15. Take your time when greeting people. Don’t rush on to the next person.

16. Stand with your feet hip width apart.

17. Try to keep tension in your core when you walk, sit, or stand. This will help you to maintain graceful movements and good posture.

18. Relax, but don’t slouch. Imagine a string is pulling the top of your head.

19. Resist the urge to push back your shoulders and puff out your chest.

20. If you are nervous, remind yourself of something impressive you have done. Keep it to yourself. This will help you to project confidence.

“Think of good posture as your body’s projection of a positive message to those you meet,” wrote Cindy Ann Peterson. Consider the message you are sending about yourself. Is it accurate? Could it be improved? Use the tips above, and see if people react to you differently.

The post 20 Body Language Tricks that Make Others Like You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

How Sensitive Is Your OCD Radar?

The post How Sensitive Is Your OCD Radar? appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Can You See All Six People In This Picture?

The post Can You See All Six People In This Picture? appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Monday, 19 September 2016

4 Signs Your Job Is Crushing Your Spirit

4 Signs Your Job Is Crushing Your Spirit

You went to school and got good grades. You behaved yourself. You got into college. You graduated and got a job. You settled down. You bought a house and saved diligently for your retirement…
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why?

All too often, we get caught up in our short term goals in a way that blinds us to the big picture. The average American will spend nearly 100,000 hours at work over the course of their lifetime. For those who work beyond a nine to five schedule, it will be much more. This is very disheartening when we consider that 80 percent of people do not like their jobs.

Should you take a second look at your career path before you go any farther?

Here are four signs you should reconsider your job situation:

1. You’ve lost sight of your personal goals and aspirations.

Your work should not be the only component of your identity. Where do you want to travel? What athletic feats do you strive to accomplish? Do you have any artistic projects in the works? These are the things that make us who we are. If you are drowning in your job, it’s likely you need to form an identity outside of work. Consider your talents. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. Then, go for it. Train for a marathon. Learn to cook Chinese food. Plan a trip to Cuba. Build a tree house for your kids. Learn Italian. Coach your daughter’s soccer team. Start a garage band. The possibilities are endless.

2. Your work is stopping you from enjoying your life.

Did you know that 64 percent of Americans canceled their vacations this year? Of those who did go, a quarter checked in to work remotely on an hourly basis. Vacations, and other breaks from work, are critical to our mental and emotional health. If you are never truly off the clock, you are missing out on a wonderful chance to enjoy being alive. Travel is one of the great thrills of life. Exploring our world is magical and inspiring. It rejuvenates the spirit. It is also a unique chance to bond with your family. The memories you build together will stay with you long after your job has ended. This brings us to our next point…

3. Your relationships are suffering.

“In workaholic marriages, there’s more marital estrangement. Couples are emotionally distant from each other. There are often thoughts of separation and divorce,” noted Bryan Robinson. This could explain why couples in which one partner spends more time than usual at work (by ten or more hours per week) divorce at twice the average rate. This figure is sad on its own. When we consider that most people work to provide for their family, it becomes tragic. Think hard about what exactly it is you want to give your loved ones. Most likely, they would prefer your presence to your presents.
Is a Terrible Job Really Better Than No Job at All?

4. You only work for the money.

Most people would not choose to work if they did not have bills to pay. However, this shouldn’t be the only thing that ties you to your current job. Does your work give you a sense of purpose? Does it stimulate your mind? Do you like and respect your co-workers? Do you feel invested in your professional goals and accomplishments? Are you proud to work for your company? Do you get a sense of personal satisfaction when you do your job well? If you could not answer “yes” to any of these questions, it might be time to seek out a more rewarding work life.

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion,” wrote Simon Sinek. Don’t let your work stress destroy your capacity to seek out passion and joy in your life. Remember what it is you are working for. Then, invest time and energy in the parts of your life that awaken your spirit. Spend time with your loved ones. Pursue a passion project. Live your life in the greatest way possible.

The post 4 Signs Your Job Is Crushing Your Spirit appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

7 Signs Your Partner Is Ready to Commit

7 Signs Your Partner Is Ready to Commit

Falling in love is one of the greatest joys life has to offer. Most people look forward to settling down with their one true soulmate. Unfortunately, in our rush to fall head over heels, we may overestimate our partner’s affection and commitment. This is an error that’s bound to end in heartbreak.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

So, how do we protect ourselves from emotional disaster without blocking our hearts off from love? The answer is right in front of you. Observe your partner’s behavior. Listen to what they say. Read between the lines. What are they not saying? Do their actions align with their words? Be honest with yourself about what you see. Don’t clutch so tightly to a fantasy that you let the real thing pass you by.

So – is your partner ready for the long haul?

Here are seven ways you can tell:

Your partner says “I love you” in a casual context.

The ability to say these words in the course of everyday life shows certainty and comfort. Watch out for a partner who says it only in romantic situations. They might be using these words without meaning them, to meet your expectations and cultivate an amorous atmosphere. A partner who only says “I love you” in response to you saying it first may be unsure of their feelings. Look for sincerity and comfort in your partner’s declarations of affection.
5 Ways to Stay Connected To Your Partner

Your partner mentions building a family.

A person who asks how you feel about marriage and children is trying to envision a future with you. One who does not might not be ready to commit. They might also be afraid of scaring you off. Either way, it is likely that they feel your relationship is not yet at a point where they are looking towards a permanent commitment.

Your partner has introduced you to their family and friends.

This is a big step. If your significant other wants you to meet their inner circle, it is likely that they already see you as an important part of their life. They are committed to the relationship, and they are proud of the person you are. It also shows that they value their relationships with family members and close friends.

Your partner is willing to compromise.

When your significant other goes out of their way to make you happy, they are showing you that they value the relationship more than their own comfort. It also demonstrates a sense of maturity that is necessary in a long term commitment. Be sure to return this courtesy by making sacrifices of your own. This is good practice for marriage.

Your partner goes out of their way to spend time with you.

Time is our most strictly limited resource. Anyone can spend money on you, or shower you with compliments and praise. It takes a truly committed person to sacrifice their time for you. This is a sure sign that your partner is looking toward building a future together.
20 Questions to Determine Whether Your Partner is Controlling

Your partner asks lots of questions.

In a happy relationship, you and your significant other should strive to constantly learn more about one another. A partner who asks lots of questions is deeply interested in who you are. This shows curiosity, care, and affection. These qualities will keep your relationship alive.

Your partner likes to hold hands.

Non-sexual touching shows a level of fondness and comfort that goes beyond simple physical attraction. These little bits of contact deepen your emotional connection and keep you in sync with one another. If your partner likes to hold hands in public, they might be proud to show you off. They may also be nervous and looking to you for security. Either way, frequent hand holding is a very good sign.

“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect,” wrote  Criss Jami. Don’t wait for a perfect person. Choose someone who is imperfect, and build a perfect love. Just make sure they are committed to doing the same.

The post 7 Signs Your Partner Is Ready to Commit appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.

Saturday, 17 September 2016

4 Ways To Handle Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Without Being A Jerk

4 Ways To Handle Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Without Being A Jerk

Finding a way to handle passive-aggressive behaviour that doesn’t make you seem like a jerk can be tricky.

You’re probably familiar with passive-aggressive behaviour, even if you don’t recognize it for what it is. It’s rampant on social media. I’m sure you’ve seen the posts and comments on Facebook that are obviously showing hostility, albeit through the veil of a smile. “You usually look tired in your pictures, but you look nice in this one.” Jeez, thanks, aunt Judy.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!

Usually, the passive-aggressive person says something with a hint of rudeness to it as a response to conflict they are avoiding. Combine that with a feeling of powerlessness and helplessness, and you have the recipe for an internal power struggle that results in passive-aggressive behaviour.

I remember one instance when I was out shopping for a sweater with a co-worker of mine who was up for the same promotion I was. After making the mistake of asking her opinion on one of my selections, she responded with, “It looks like your diet might not be working. Maybe if you try a size up you’ll be more comfortable.” Said sweetly, with a smile, of course. I’m not certain she was really concerned with my health, or my level of comfort. What was really going on was she wanted me to initiate conflict so she could release her anger and frustration.

These are verbal signs of classic passive-aggressive behaviour, but there are other ways people exhibit this as well. When someone gives you the silent treatment, is intentionally late, doesn’t do what is asked of them, or withholds intimacy, they are also being passive-aggressive.

So how do we handle this type of frustrating behaviour without coming across like a jerk?

1. Stay focused on the current moment.

It’s easy to fall for the trap of bringing up all the other times they’ve acted like this, but don’t do it. Stay in the now.

So they said something that hurt your feelings or made you angry. Don’t contribute to the endless cycle of passive-aggressive behaviour by reliving the numerous other times they did the exact same thing.

Instead, focus on what they said in this instance and let them know how they made you feel. These people act like this because they are avoiding something. If you avoid the issue of their passive-aggressive behaviour, you’re only contributing to the cycle.

2. Use “I” instead of “you” when expressing yourself.

When we say things like “you do this” or “you make me feel this way” it comes off accusatory, and defense mode is engaged. You want to deflect aggression, not trigger it.

Use phrasing that incorporates the use of “I.” As in, “I feel hurt when things are said about my weight,” or “I prefer if remarks like that weren’t made.”

3. Make it clear that there are consequences for their actions.

You should probably expect them to deny ever doing anything wrong, or they’ll make excuses for their behaviour. Regardless of what tactics they try to deploy, stand your ground and respond accordingly.

If this is the third time you’ve invited John to join you and your friends for drinks, and he says yes but never shows up, then it’s time to instill some consequences. Kindly let John know that if you invite him in the future, and he says he will be there, then he needs to show up. Otherwise, someone else will be asked in his place, and he probably won’t be given much consideration for future gatherings.

4. Understand that not everyone is going to be approachable.

Sometimes we need to weigh the pros and cons of confronting this type of behaviour.

If you work for someone who is passive-aggressive towards you, it might not be as beneficial for you to confront them as it would be for you to approach your friend. There are pros and cons to everything we do. While it might feel great to finally tell your boss how you feel about his snotty remarks, it probably won’t serve you very well in the long run. If they use sarcasm and “thank you for your hard work,” then you can respond with a genuine “you’re welcome.” That’s about as good as it gets in those situations.

Overall, be mindful of how you speak to others and pay attention to what triggers your frustration and anger. Acknowledge how you feel and process that information in the healthiest way you can.

Whatever you do, don’t hold on to it and let it stew in your mind. That’s how you end up being passive-aggressive.

The post 4 Ways To Handle Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Without Being A Jerk appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.