8 Ways To Make People Like You Instantly

Have you ever met someone, and immediately thought, “wow, I like this person”? There are people like that in our lives, instantly likable, approachable, and completely disarming. These people are fast friends, and quick confidants. Being likable isn’t about vanity or popularity, it is about being able to connect with people – almost instantly. How would that benefit you in life? How about a job interview? Sales meeting with a big client? First date? Meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time? These are all situations where being likable is a huge bonus, and here are some way that you can instantly make yourself more likable.

1. Sense of Humor
Having a sense of humor can almost seem like a genetic trait; some people have it – some people don’t. No matter what your situation is, laughing and being relaxed can go a long way. If someone tells a joke, go with it, don’t do something awkward like point out the obvious aspects of the joke, or try to correct a punch line, just laugh, and roll with it. Even if something isn’t funny, don’t point it out – just move on. Having a sense of humor isn’t just about being funny yourself, it is about seeing the humor in other people and appreciating it.

2. Accept Others Like they Are
Likable people are far from judgmental, that’s one of the main reason they are likable. Accept people for who they are, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Part of being likable is being able to identify with people no matter what, and accepting them on many different levels.

3. Give your Full Attention
This is key, people want to know they matter. Likable people don’t have conversations out of the corner of their eye while farting around on their cell phones, they look you in the eye and make you feel like you are the only thing in their world. This is especially crucial around new people. If you’ve just met someone making them feel “blown-off” by not giving them your attention can lead to an irrecoverably bad first impression.

4. Be Confident in Yourself
If people sense weakness, they immediately hold you in lower regard than they would if they sense pure confidence. Confidence is not only admired by others, it’s found to be extremely attractive to the opposite sex. There is a very defined line between cocky and confident, though. It is a line that once crossed, is almost impossible to retreat back to. Knowing you are great is one thing, telling everyone how great you are is quite another.

5. Listen
Listening to others is the number one way to endear yourself to others. Like I said earlier, people want to be heard and have attention paid to them, so by actually focusing on what someone is saying, instead of just hearing words come out of their head, goes miles towards someone liking and connecting with you.

6. Make Others Feel Good About Themselves
Likable people make you feel good about yourself, so to be likable – you have to make others feel good about themselves. If someone comes to you with a problem, don’t insult them for making mistakes, empathize with them, and help them to correct the mistake. Be complimentary, even flattering. I’m not saying you have to go full-blown “brown noser”, but pointing out little things like someone outfit, or their hair can also go miles towards instantly being likable.

7. Be Touchy (To an Extent)
Likable people don’t shy away from contact. From a firm handshake, to a pat on the back little contacts break down barriers between people. Now I’m not giving you an excuse to be creepy or get gropey – this is another fine line that once crossed is hard to come back from. Don’t be afraid to pat someone on the arm if they make a funny joke, or putting a hand on someone’s shoulder to get their attention instead of yelling at them in a crowd. It’s little subtleties that make people comfortable.

8. Don’t Seek Attention
This is a key to likability. Let the spotlight fall on you naturally. Like I said earlier, likability has nothing to do with popularity. If you are likable, people will naturally want to be around you. The harder you try to sing your own praises, the more no one will listen to you. Let people make their own decisions about you based on your actions, and I promise you’ll find that people will find you more approachable. Humility can be just as sexy and admirable as confidence.

5 Ways to Reduce Anxiety in Social Situations

For some people the idea of going to a party and being surrounded by people they don’t know sends their anxiety meters into the red. We’ve all been there, too: Our social butterfly friend invites us to some social gathering and you know none of the other people that will be there. Bit the truth is, these are the types of experiences in life that make us grow as people. Crawling out of our little shells that we build around ourselves is when we really figure out who we are as people. If the thought of going out to a bar by yourself, or going to a party where you don’t know anyone freaks you out, here are some tips to relive your social anxiety. Who knows, you might actually have some fun.

1. Take Yourself out of the Spotlight
This is the hardest, yet most productive thing you can do in social situations where you are anxious. You feel like everyone in the room is watching you and scrutinizing you, but the truth is – that’s all in your head. Unless you are giving people a reason to focus on you, chances are they are not. Hold your head up, believe in yourself, and remember that you are awesome.

2. Remember, No One is Perfect
Keep in mind that all of the people you assume are judging and scrutinizing you are not perfect either. No on is perfect. If you’re in a crowd of people and you somehow don’t think that you belong, or that you aren’t good enough to be in that crowd – remember that they are just people too. Just a room full of regular, average, normal people who are just as worried about being socially accepted just like you are. Identify with them instead of putting them on a pedestal.

3. Ask about Who People Are, Not What they do
When you do actually engage in conversations with people you are just meeting, engage in REAL conversations. What people do for a paycheck is such a small part of who they are, think of a conversation with a new person as an interview, and not just small talk. Invest time in getting to know people, and you’ll find that you not only get to know people better, you connect with them on a level that is deeper than just some random passer-by. Nothing alleviates anxiety like having a partner in crime.

4. Don’t Be Bullied in Conversations
The other, bad, side of conversations with new people is when you run into a conversation bully. These people actually tend to increase social anxiety. They can bully you into talking about subjects that you simply don’t care about, or even flat-out don’t want to talk about. If you can shift the conversation in a direction you’re more comfortable with – go for it. If not, find a reason to exit the conversation, and get out of it.

5. Laugh
Last, but certainly not least, laugh. Smile. Be Approachable. When you are in a crowd of new people, understand that you are exactly as much of an outcast as you want to be. Laughter is something that bonds humans together like nothing else in this world. If you find yourself in a situation where a crowd of people still refuses to accept you into the fold, despite your bubbly, witty, charming nature – chances are you are surrounded by assholes, and need to get out of that situation anyway.

10 Things I Wish I Could Go Back and Tell My 18-Years-Old Self

I’ve often fantasized about being able to hop in my time machine and go back in time, and not just for the ability to win the lottery, or maybe prevent some great wrongdoing. Who hasn’t had those thoughts? I think as I get older though, those thoughts are less focused on what I would change about everything else, and what I would change about myself. Given the opportunity to slide back in time, I think I would sit my 18-year old version of myself down, and divulge some info that one can only acquire through time and experience.

So what would I tell 18-year old me?

You’re Going to Screw Up
No one gets it right every time. Growing up is basically just a long conjoined combinations of successes and failures, and there are probably going to be more failures. That’s how we learn, grow, and become better people. You have to embrace the failures to accept them. If you simply ignore them – you learn nothing. That doesn’t mean you need to harp on them and beat yourself down, it means that you need to understand that you are fallible, just like everyone else.

Find What You Love To Do, and Do It For a Living
So many people, my self included, get involved in a career path that may serve a purpose at the time, but isn’t fulfilling. There is an old saying: “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” As true as that is, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work hard at what you do, it simply means that fulfillment is more than a paycheck.

Explore
When you are young you have all kinds of opportunities to explore new ideas, new places, new people, and life in general. As we grow older, and our responsibilities increase, we start to lose that ability to explore and find new things. How do you know if you don’t like something unless you’ve tried it? Exploring is like a workout for your soul, it strengthens you as a person.

Be Decisive, and Act on Those Decisions
Before we acquire experience in life, simple decisions can often be way more taxing than they need to be. When you’re trying to weigh the pros and cons of a decision without that gut instinct that you learn over the years, indecision leads to inactivity. Inactivity leads to missed opportunities.

Embrace Change
The only thing about life that will never change is its ability to change constantly. You can either roll with the punches, or let life knock you out, it is that simple. Embracing change is another aspect of life that gets easier with time and experience, so the sooner you embrace it – the easier it gets.

Quit Worrying About What Other People Think
The people that you think are so important to you life most likely wont be around in 5 years. That’s just the way life works. People grow up, grow apart, and new people will come into your life every day. The opinions of the people around you affect you only as much as you let them. The sooner you learn to embrace yourself, the sooner you free yourself from what anyone else thinks.

Be Honest
Being honest is a double-edged sword. As important as it is to be honest to other people, it is important to be honest with yourself. You may be able to fool others around you, but it is your voice in your head at the end of the day that will remind you that you’re living a lie. Trust is a crucial element of any relationship in life, and once you’ve lost that trust it can be impossible to get back.

Pay Attention to Your Health
Not a lot of 18-year olds even give a passing glance to their health, except for when there is a problem. Your health is an accumulative thing. Making good health decisions when you are young and developing good health habits extends on into your life from that point forward. Completely changing your life in 10 years may not be an option for some people, so starting early on a healthy journal is crucial.

You Are Not Bullet Proof
When we are young, nothing in the world can touch us. At least that is what we think when we are young. In reality, no one is bullet proof. There is a difference in living an adventurous life, and living recklessly. Even the guys that make a living doing dangerous things will tell you that. Experience will tell you that what you do every day has consequences.

Pay Attention to Your Money
I think of all of the things I could tell 18-year old me, this would be the most important. When you are younger and have little to no financial responsibilities, it’s easy to develop terrible spending habits that extend into adulthood. Wasting money on frivolous things, or binge-spending are just as easy at 33 as they were at 18. The difference is that with age, comes responsibilities, and those bad spending habits have way more of an impact on your life.

In reality, in putting this list together, I realized that I don’t need a time machine. Every one of these life lessons is something that we need to tell ourselves every day. I guess that means I can quit building this time machine now.

30 Questions that will Set Your Mind Free

Often times when people come to you for advice, getting them to ask questions is the most effective form of finding an answer. Taking the time to contemplate a question let’s people come to their own conclusions, and is often times way more effective than just telling them how they should think, or act. But what if it is you that is seeking advice? Thanks to books like ““If…(questions for the Game of Life” here is a list of questions to ask yourself that will set your mind free.

1. If you didn’t know how old you were, what would you guess your age to be?

2. In the end of your life, will you have said more, or done more?

3. If the average human lifespan was only 40 years, how would you live differently?

4. If happiness was money, what would make you rich?

5. Would you rather do the right thing, or do things right?

6. What is better: a worried genius, or a joyful idiot?

7. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or not be able to make new ones?

8. Can you know the truth without challenging it?

9. Have you ever actually encountered your greatest fear? If not – why is it your greatest fear?

10. Are you simply alive, or truly living?

11. What did you do today that you’ll actually remember?

12. Are you doing what you believe in? Or simply getting by?

13. How much have you actually controlled the path of your life?

14. If you could offer someone one piece of advice, what would it be?

15. Do you see the line between insanity and creativity?

16. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

17. Would you give up 10 years of your life to be attractive or famous?

18. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work doing what you love?

19. Do you ever feel like you’re re-living the same day over and over?

20. If we learn from mistakes, why are we so afraid to make them?

21. How comes what makes you happy doesn’t make everyone happy?

22. Why are you, you?

23. What would you do differently if there was no one to judge you?

24. what is it in life that you truly love?

25. in the decisions you are making right now: are they for you? or for someone else?

26. Knowing I will die, how should I live?

27. Which is worse: failing or never trying?

28. What am I holding that I need to let go of?

29. Does something that upset me 5 years ago even matter anymore? Why?

30. If not now, when?

What Albert Einstein Taught Us About Love

Despite our best efforts, relationships can seem like some strange form of advanced mathematics. The complicated nature of bringing two completely unique beings together into one symbiotic situation is an equation which not only doesn’t have a perfect answer, but the variables are constantly changing. Two lives existing together as one is just as hard as it is in life as it is on paper.

So, why not turn to a true genius? A man who’s very name is synonymous with intelligence: Albert Einstein. I figure if the man was smart enough to win the Nobel prize for Theoretical Physics, then his insight on relationships should be just as solid as his theories about the universe, although he did once say “Lasting harmony with a woman [was] an undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.”

Oh yeah, and he married his cousin.

Either way, here are some insights into Love and relationships from one of the most amazing minds this planet has ever seen:

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

True. Statement. Kissing a beautiful woman should temporarily remove you from your physical presence on this planet and elevate you to some place between here and the stars. Not something you want to do at highway speeds.

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”

Never before has relativity made as much sense as putting in the context of that pitter-patter in your heart when your adrenaline is pumping, you’re nervous and sweaty, and completely enamored by the presence of an amazing woman.

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”

How handy would it be if you could though? Love doesn’t make sense, if it did someone would have figured it out by now. It is just a natural connection between two random people for whatever myriad of reasons that is as unavoidable as gravity.

“Love is a better teacher than duty.”

As much as relationships require work, they are not a job. You work on them because they are a part of you, and the end result is better than any paycheck you could ever collect. What you’ll learn from love will teach you things about yourself you never knew.

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Love is, in its own way, a small miracle. A beautiful part of life that we’d be lost without. When you find it, it should be held in the same reverence as miracle, no matter how simple it may be.